Moonflower
by fishebake
Summary: They say that destiny is set in stone. Most people are willing to accept this and move on - Yamanaka Inoko is not most people. Her father's life is on the line, and she knows that if she wants to keep him safe, she's going to need a seriously big sledgehammer.
1. Dianthus Caryophyllus

**Heyo, fishebake here! I'll try to confine A/Ns to the bottom in the future, but for now I wanted to say thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy. Moonflower has been a joy and a ride, all eighteen chapters so far. Chapter nineteen will be out... shortly. Most likely. I know I already said in November but this time it'll be different!**

* * *

I was having a lovely dream. I was on a beautiful mountainside, with one notable difference - everything was made of food. The boulders were steaming loaves of bread, and the trees grew dango and pocky. Flowers sprouted with onigiri and naruto, and taiyaki swam through the ramen broth. Mochi grew instead of grass, and I had never been happier. I could almost die of joy.

Well. Die again.

I pulled up an onigiri flower and ate half of it in one bite. Moaning in pleasure, I scooped the taiyaki from the stream and shook off the excess broth before taking a bite. The taste was _exquisite_. Beyond exquisite.

My eyes slowly widened as I saw the ultimate prize - a gigantic plate of sushi. Drool trickled out the corner of my mouth. I reached forward, almost not daring to touch such perfection. The moment I touched the first piece, I knew that this was going to be the best sushi I had ever had. The fish was clearly caught this morning, if not a few hours ago, and the rice was just the right texture. And the seaweed must have been crafted by the gods themselves, because there was no way any mortal man could reach such perfection. I moved it towards my mouth and closed my eyes. It was in the opening of my mouth, and -

"Yamanaka!" A sharp pain hit me in the forehead and smacked me into the back of my seat. I blinked a couple times as the classroom came into focus. "And Nara!" A chalkboard eraser flew through the air and smacked one of my seatmates in the forehead. Clearly a repeat of what happened to me. My other seatmate was unperturbed by the violence, content to eat his chips as the rest of the class laughed. My sister merely pinched the bridge of her nose. "I devote my time to teaching you day after day, and you repay me by sleeping all the time?!"

I blinked sleepily at Iruka-sensei, still disoriented from my dream.

"But…" I said softly. He sighed before humoring me.

"What?"

"The… the sushi… I was so close, Sensei," I stared at him with plaintive eyes. His eye twitched.

"You really are a pig girl, Inoko," Ami smirked from her seat across the aisle. Chōji stirred beside me, munching on his chips faster. "A stupid lazy pig girl."

"Hey, leave my baby sister alone," Ino frowned.

"She may sleep all the time, but her grades are still high above yours, Ami," Iruka-sensei replied shortly as he shuffled some papers on his desk. She flushed as Kiba loudly whispered, "Burn…" A few other students snickered amongst themselves.

"You are five minutes older," I leaned forward and growled in Ino's ear as Sensei resumed his lecture. I lightly pulled on her ponytail, just to make sure she was paying attention. "Stop calling me your baby sister. You know it pisses me off." She merely gave me the same smile that usually got her out of trouble with Dad.

"Really? I had no idea." I pulled her ponytail a bit harder in return. Glancing around the classroom, I leaned into Chōji and whispered, "What did I miss?"

"Not much," he whispered back, offering me some of his chips. I gladly accepted one. Yum, barbeque. "We've been going over our final exam. There's a written test, and then a practical exam."

"Joy," I muttered. I stole another chip, munching thoughtfully.

"I'm handing out your papers now," our sensei announced. "When I call your name, come up and get it." He began to list out names, and being a horrible person, I relished the looks on my fellow students as they saw their harshly graded exams. Heh.

"Yamanaka, Ino and Inoko," he called. Ino waved me to stay in my seat as she skipped to the front. I settled back onto my desk, still tired despite my impromptu nap.

"I just want you to know that I hate you," my twin pouted as she handed me my paper. "Two wrong? Out of a hundred very hard questions? I thought I was supposed to be the smart one."

"Nah, you're the pretty one. I'm the smart one," I teased, glancing over my paper. One I had left blank because I had no idea how to solve it, and the other I used the wrong formula. Oh well. "I have to have _something_ going for me."

Ino gave me a look. "We're identical twins."

I was saved from replying by Sensei calling, "Uzumaki, Naruto." Silence. "Naruto?" The entire class stared at his empty seat. He must have snuck out while I was napping. A blood vessel pulsed near Iruka's temple. I had to admit, I was curious to know how this would turn out.

At that moment, we heard Suzume-sensei scream. " _The_ _Hokage-monument_!" The vein pulsed harder, and Sensei was doing his very best to keep a smile on his face. "Class, study chapter fourteen of your anatomy textbooks until I return." He spun on his heel and left the room. The moment the door closed, I clearly heard him shout, "Mizuki!" I managed to keep a straight face for all of eight seconds before losing it.

"Chōji, can you give me a boost?" I managed after I caught my breath. Absolutely no one was studying, except for maybe Sakura. Oh, and Sasuke, but that was because he had 'the Uchiha honor to uphold'. Translation: 'I'm a stick in the mud that has no idea how to have fun'. Gossiping and goofing off seemed to be the main priorities, particularly next to Sasuke. His usual impassive face had just a hint of suffering on it. Ha. "I wanna see what Naruto did."

Chōji was a darling as usual and let me stand on his shoulders so I could reach the window. Still, I tried to pull most of my weight onto the windowsill. Covering my eyes from the bright sun, I gave a low whistle as I beheld the graffitied heads. A small figure was hanging in front of the Yondaime and slowly creating a white stream from the nose. Figures.

I glanced over my shoulder back into the classroom. Absolutely no one was paying attention to me except for Chōji and Shikamaru. I grinned, a plot forming in my head.

"I'm getting some food," I announced. "Anyone want to come with?" Shika groaned, but drifted over to us anyway. Kiba gave me a suspicious look.

"Who's paying?" he asked.

"My treat," I said, rolling my eyes. Akamaru barked, and his partner gave me a grin.

"Sounds like fun!"

"Wait just a minute," Ino growled. I gave her a lazy blink. I guess someone else was paying attention after all. "I'm not going to let you play hooky on our last day of school."

"I'm not playing hooky," I drawled. "I'll be back before Sensei is." I pushed the window open and jumped out, breaking out into a run the moment I touched the ground. My companions caught up pretty quickly, and we were sent off with Ino's annoyed, " _Inoko_!"

"Ah, the joys of being her sister," I sighed as we slowed a decent distance from the Academy. "Anyway, who wants what?" I ended up buying more chips for Chōji, smoked mackerel for Shika, and beef jerky for Kiba and Akamaru. I also got some pudding for Ino as a peace offering. As for myself, I bought a sushi bento. Because sushi.

"Inoko, any man who gets you as a wife would be so lucky," Kiba sighed happily. Akamaru made an agreeable noise muffled by jerky.

"Oh yeah, dog breath," I snorted, amused. "Marrying someone is totally my entire goal in life. I only exist to buy you men food."

Kiba gasped dramatically. "You mean you aren't?" I glared at him for a moment before punching him in the arm.

"Ow!"

"Troublesome," Shikamaru sighed, looking vaguely amused as Kiba and I engaged in a friendly shoving match.

Ino was fuming when we got back. The moment I passed through the window, she grabbed my ponytail and dragged me to my seat.

"Ow ow ow ow."

"Do you know how much trouble you could have been in if Sensei had come back first?" she snapped. She was way too much like Mother at times for my liking.

"But he didn't, so I'm not," I protested. What was the point of being a ninja if you couldn't sneak out of boring places and get food? "If you keep being mean to me, I won't give you the pudding I bought." She blinked in surprise, then frowned.

"If you think that I'm going to let you bribe me, then -"

"Chocolate," I interrupted, waving it in front of her face. I could see her starting to waver. "From an Akimichi place, no less. But, if you don't want it, I'll be more than happy to eat it myself…?" I trailed off, grinning at her. The pudding disappeared from my hand.

"Just this once," she warned. Funny, that was what she said last time. And the time before that.

Iruka-sensei came in then, with Naruto in tow. He was tied up pretty tightly, and had a determined unrepentant look on his face. Basically the same look he had whenever he got caught at his pranks. Sensei himself gave me a look as I ate another piece of sushi. _He knows_ , I thought while sweating a little.

"Well, Naruto, since you have completely thrown off the rest of the lesson plan for today, the entire class can practice their henge." Everyone around me groaned. Ino smacked her forehead into her desk.

"Well, it's not like some of us can't use the extra practice," I said. I winked at Naruto. He beamed at me, recognizing the backhanded support. Shika looked like he wanted to elbow me, but was as always too lazy to bother.

Sasuke, the little show-off, was one of the first to go, and did a henge of Sensei. Sakura copied him, of course - I loved that girl to bits, but my god, her fangirl tendencies drove me insane - as did Ino. My eye was twitching by the time it was my turn. Just to screw with everyone, I henged as Sasuke.

"Told you she's in denial," Ami smirked to her friend Kasumi. I turned to her and made the stupidest face that human muscles could create, then went a bit further. The boys all laughed. Dropping the henge, I returned to my seat.

"Nice henge, owl," Sasuke said sarcastically. I scowled at the nickname Ami had given me a couple years earlier. _They think they're soo clever, just because I have insomnia._

"Thanks," I deadpanned. "You didn't do too bad yourself, duck boy." If looks could kill, I would have likely dropped dead there. Well you know what, Sasuke, if it bothered you that much you could fight me, and then we'll see.

"Sexy Jutsu!" I heard behind me. Another twitch developed on my face. _If I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times…_

After Iruka-sensei was done yelling at him and sent him back to his seat, the rest of the day went smoothly. It usually did after one of Naruto's pranks, especially a large scale one like that.

"I think that the monument was your best work yet," I said as I packed up my things at the end of the day. "You definitely topped covering the markets with catnip, and I think that was my favorite one."

"I know, right?" Naruto said excitedly. "But Iruka-sensei's making me clean it off, dattebayo." I patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"I'd help, you know, but Ino and I have a meeting with the clan elders right after dinner. Graduation is tomorrow, after all." He made a face. It more or less matched my feelings on the matter.

"I do not envy you," he said, making an X with his arms. I rolled my eyes. _He's so dramatic._ "Hanging out with those old coots."

Elbowing him and laughing, I said, "Hey! Those 'old coots' are my family." I raised my voice in a snotty mimicry of a noble. "'And we all know how important the old coots are. You see, if it weren't for them, who else would tell you how disappointed they are in all of your life choices?'" Naruto burst out laughing, some of his good mood restored. My mission accomplished, I pulled my backpack on and smiled at him. "I'll see you tomorrow, Naruto."

"Bye!" he said cheerfully, but I could feel his chakra become sad after I left the room. _Stop it,_ I scolded myself. _You can't keep him company every second of every day. You have clan things to do._

"How was school?" Mother asked as she finalized dinner. I was setting the table as Ino served the rice.

"Not bad," I said. "Naruto graffitied the Hokage monument, so that was fun." Mother gave me a look. "I didn't help this time!" I protested. "Honest, you can ask Sensei."

"She fell asleep in the middle of Sensei's lecture," Ino pipped in, raising an eyebrow.

"Inoko!"

"In my defense, I already knew it," I said, very much not making eye contact as I set the table a little faster. I could hear the front door close, muffled against the clattering of dishes.

I could hear the frown in Mother's voice. "That's not a valid excuse."

"What's going on?" Dad asked as he came in. He looked tired, but he usually looked kind of tired when he first came home.

"Nothing!" I said cheerfully, throwing myself at him and hugging him tightly. Dad swung me into the air.

"Whoa! I won't be able to do that for much longer," he laughed, grunting a little with the effort. To say that I was a cuddle bug and a daddy's girl were both understatements. Mother would often tell how as a baby I only wanted to be with Dad, and could generally not care less about everyone else who wanted to hold me.

I didn't remember that, being a baby and all, but considering she wasn't the first mother who had told me that, I was willing to believe it.

"Which is why you should do it while you can," I reasoned, wriggling free and dropping to the ground. I gave him my best sad eyes. "Also, do we _really_ have to go to that meeting? They're boring." He was sadly immune this time.

"Yes, you do." Ignoring my groan, Dad continued, "You're both going to be full members of the clan, with all the responsibilities of a clan member. And because you're both children of the clan head, that has a few more responsibilities tacked on at the end."

"... I just want to be a psychologist," I muttered. "The ninja thing is just to see if I can."

"Dear, you may not be the heir," Mother began, smoothing my hair.

"I'm just the backup heir," I snorted. "But yes, I know. Dad's the head, so I need to be able to know whose butt to kiss to make the clan happy." Dad's cough sounded suspiciously like a laugh. "I'm right, aren't I? Crap."

"Anyway, we need to eat quickly and get going," Dad said. "Noriko, this looks delicious, thank you."

"Itadakimasu," I echoed Ino, and then dug in. I gave a happy sigh. I swear, my mother must have taken cooking lessons from a god. It was over all too soon, though, and then I had to get ready for the meeting. Ino changed her clothes and freshened her makeup, but I had to take a shower and everything.

Ino banged on the door twice to yell at me to get out. I regret nothing.

"Stop picking out my clothes!" I shouted from my room once I emerged from the shower and beheld the kimono.

"It's not _my_ fault you have bad fashion taste! You'd wear a t-shirt and pajama pants all the time if you could!" I mean, she wasn't wrong.

"Because they're comfortable," I grouched, and reluctantly pulled on the kimono. They were appropriate for the occasion, but all the same, I hated them. I could barely move in them. I swear, all of her outfit choices had either too much fabric or not enough fabric. I half heartedly twisted my hair up before clipping it into place before presenting myself to my family. "Now, on to the execution," I drawled.

"I do wish you'd dress nicely more often," Mother said as she straightened my obi. "You look so pretty when you put effort into your appearance."

"Why do that when I have Ino?" I asked. "I'm before, and she's after."

"Very funny," Ino said, poking me in the side.

"Very nice," Dad approved. "Shall we go to the slaughter?"

"See? Dad agrees with me."

"You're late, Inoichi-sama," Akio, one of the elders, said. I always got the sense that he didn't like me which was fair, because I didn't like him either.

"Sorry about that," Dad shrugged, taking a seat. He gestured for us to sit on either side of him. The meeting hadn't even started and I was already bored. My only solace was that Shikamaru and Chōji had to go through this too, and we could all complain together in the morning. "I got held up on the way over."

The meeting began, and I amused myself by singing songs from another time. _She wants to dance like Uma Thurman, bury me till I confess._ It was all pointless things, like something some Yamanaka did last week that might causes some tiny political thing, or clan revenue. Bah. Budgets. I wish I had brought one of the textbooks I checked out from the clan library. At least that stuff was interesting.

This wasn't even worth the time of the clan head. Honestly, there was so much more important things that I could be doing right now. I stopped singing in my head and frowned a little.

Ino would always tease me and call me a book worm for spending all of my non sleeping time reading. However, there was method to my madness. Learning as much as I could before I graduated was necessary. Yes, I was anticipating failing the second test. But even then, I'd have the knowledge to survive when…

My stomach turned as I thought on the future. The Fourth Shinobi war that killed so many, including Yamanaka Inoichi.

I swallowed bile and focused on a knot in the wood. That was by far one of the worst things about being reincarnated: knowing who would live and who would die. And there was next to nothing I could do.

"Inoko!" I jumped a little in my seat to see everyone staring at me. "Pay attention. This is important." I nodded sullenly and settled in for the long run.

* * *

 **6/9/19: Edited for adding on new and improved bits.**


	2. Iris Germanica

"Hello, Yoshino-san," I said brightly when she answered the door. "Is Shikamaru back yet?"

"Hello, Inoko. I'm afraid he's not," she said, opening the door wider. "He should be back soon, though. You can wait in the living room if you want. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you, I will," I nodded, making my way inside.

Once I was there, I tracked down the shogi board that floated around the room and set it up. I ended up staring blankly at the pieces for quite a while. I had a bunch of things to think about, and playing shogi with Shikamaru usually helped me think. Hm. Maybe that's why I always lost to him, I was distracted every time.

"Most people ask before they come over," Shikamaru said dryly as he entered.

"I have a standing invitation from your parents," I shrugged. I gestured to the board. "Pick a side."

He glanced at the board and said, "White." I spun the board around in response. We played in silence for several minutes, the clacking of the pieces being the only sound.

"What's bothering you?" he finally asked.

"Who says anything's bothering me?" I defended. He raised an eyebrow as he moved a piece.

"You only play shogi with me when you're bothered by something."

I sighed. He knew me too well. "Fine. I'm nervous about tomorrow."

"Liar."

"Says who?"

"Says nine years of experience of dealing with you," he shot back. I stared at the board.

"I don't want to talk about it," I muttered before moving my Silver General. He captured my bishop. I promoted my knight and gave him a level stare. "I just need to think a bit. I'm fine."

"You always say that, and yet you never are," he said evenly. "Check." I sighed, knowing it was just a matter of moves before he ended up capturing my king. Still…

"How would you know?" I countered. "I'm the one learning psychology. And I'm sure that I'm fine." I moved my king out of check, planning to move one of my pawns to defend it from his bishop. He caught my hand as I pulled it back to force me to look at him.

"You know that I will help with whatever I can, right?"

"It wouldn't be too troublesome?" I smirked, pulling my hand free. Hm. No matter how I looked at it, I couldn't see any move that would allow me to stay in the game for longer than a move or two. "I resign. Good game, Shika."

"You're avoiding the issue," he said. He began to help me reset the board.

"There is no issue. I can't play a game with my best friend?" I stared at him. A hint of frustration entered his eyes.

"I really regret the day you decided to make psychological profiles of everyone in our class," he complained, placing the final pieces down.

"Just the people I like, and even that was pretty boring. I've always known your buttons, Shika," I replied, eyes on the pieces. "I just put it down on paper. Can we not do this? I just want to play." Play and think on my choices for tomorrow night.

"... Fine." I could almost hear the 'for now' in his voice. He might pretend to be uncaring and lazy, but he invested in his relationships with people. Especially his special ones.

"Ah, shogi," Shikaku said as he entered the room. "What's the score?"

"One resignation from me," I said. "If we play this game all the way through, he'll have two wins." I scowled at the board as I abruptly realized the ploy Shikamaru was using. I moved one of my lances in front of my rook. He promptly moved his bishop into a currently unused corner, but one that I had been angling to get in to make a side attack at his king. Darn.

"You underestimate yourself," Shikaku chuckled. He moved one of my gold generals for me, forward against Shika's remaining silver general. The look of consternation on his face was one I would treasure for a while.

"No, I just know that I can't beat your son." I rolled my eyes and made another move, taking advantage of Shikaku's intervention. True to my prediction, Shikamaru ended up winning that game. I made my farewells and left after that, knowing that it was getting late for other people.

I could go home, or I could wander around Konoha for a while, enjoying the nightlife. No choice, really. Konoha was fascinating when it got late, and it was generally pretty safe. Not as safe as it was back when the Uchiha were around, in my oh so humble opinion, but when one had a few tricks under her belt, there wasn't much an observant maybe-almost-genin couldn't handle from a civilian.

My parents were long since used to my night wandering. I had started to do it shortly after I turned seven. I could only read so many books while waiting to fall asleep for so long. The first time I went out, Dad had panicked when he looked into my room and realized I wasn't there. After the whole Hyūga debacle, he thought I had been kidnapped, which was. A fair assumption, honestly. He found me at a late night ramen stand getting some food. I still occasionally dropped by there for their taiyaki; it was near legendary.

Anyway, I was forbidden after that to leave the house after ten. I reread all of my books twice, and by the time a week had passed, I was ready to go out again.

I was having a fine time - running and climbing on rooftops, nighttime window shopping, and so much more - up until an Inuzuka, who I was fairly sure had been returning from a mission, suspected that I shouldn't be out at two in the morning. His dog partner went full floof - it looked like a very big shiba inu - and I couldn't resist. I was a cat person all the way, but certain dogs were just the best. The moment I went in for petting, he pounced on me and picked me up by my collar.

Dad hadn't been very happy to be roused in the middle of the night to accept his wayward child.

When I was eight, Dad and Mother gave up on keeping me inside at night. Dad had used a regular lock, then a seal when I kept getting out. It took Ino's complaints that she couldn't get water or go to the bathroom and the realization that I was climbing out the window to stop that.

What could I say, I'm a free soul at heart.

Finally, they sat me down and worked out an agreement. They understood that I was bored and had wanderlust, but they were very concerned for my safety. If I was to be allowed to roam at night, I had to promise to be careful and be back in time for breakfast.

It worked for everyone involved.

I watched people slowly filter from the streets and read a new book on how chakra activity affected the brain - fascinating read, honestly, it explained so much and yet raised so many more questions - until all the businesses were dark, and the only sound was frogs.

Checking my watch, I noted that it was now one in the morning. I still wasn't very tired. I sighed heavily, then hopped down from my perch on a telephone pole and began to make my way to one of the many training grounds in Konoha.

One good thing about the Academy was that its basic training allowed you to pull off ridiculous stunts, at least ridiculous by my previous life's standard. Once you've tried jumping from one roof to the other, you'll never want to walk again. Especially if you used to play Assassin's Creed.

I may or may not have taken the leap of faith more than once. Or twice. Or seven times.

As far as I knew, no one else visited training ground twenty-three. It suited my purposes just fine, a place to practice my kata and the couple earth jutsu one of my clan members had taught me four months ago. I spent a lot of time here, and it was secluded enough that I wouldn't bother anyone with whatever I was doing. Within ten minutes, I had worked up a decent sweat. I had beaten the living daylights out of a practice dummy with everything I knew, and switched consciousnesses with an owl.

It was pretty cool, being a bird. I flew around for a bit inspecting Konoha before returning to my body. Konoha from the air was gorgeous.

I checked my watch again, the blinking face telling me that it was now two eleven in the morning. A yawn told me that it was high time to go to bed. I gave a tired wave to the night guard at the Yamanaka clan compound gates. They were also used to my nightly wanderings.

I was nearly asleep on my feet by the time I was locking the front door behind me. I took a deep breath, slowly letting it and any remaining tension leave my body. I suppose that it was part of being a Yamanaka, but the smell of flowers permeated everything. It was nice.

Ino was breathing evenly in her bed as I carefully shut our bedroom door. She'd changed out the flowers on my end table. I ought to thank her in the morning; the lavender soothed my frazzled nerves even more. Practically falling into bed, I snuggled into my heavy covers, relaxed, and let sleep claim me.

* * *

I wanted to die. Like, right now. "No human being should ever have to wake up this early," I whispered, eyes still half closed with sleep as I sat at the kitchen table. "It is a crime that should be punished by death. A violent, slow death."

"Don't be such a drama queen," Ino snorted. Still, she began rummaging around in the cupboard for mugs. "It's only seven-thirty."

"... I will cut your heart out with a spoon if you do not give me a large cup of tea right now."

"And this is why you don't have a boyfriend."

"Then why do you not have one?" I didn't have to see her to know she was glaring at me. "Waah! Daaddy! Ino's throwing dishes again!"

When we got to the Academy, we were instantly told to take our seats and given our tests by Mizuki-sensei. I could see Naruto a few rows ahead of me, nearly pulling out his hair. It's not that hard, I mused as I began to fill out questions. Honestly, you just need to have cracked open a book sometime.

I gave a casual glance around me. Ok, maybe not, then, a lot of my classmates were looking stressed. Score one for smart kids!

I ended up finishing my test fairly quickly, and spent the rest of the time poking Shikamaru to make sure he finished his test after double checking my answers. We knew each other so well.

The second part of the test was the taijutsu portion. Iruka-sensei was grading us on this while Mizuki-sensei graded our papers. I hated taijutsu. It was one of the more compelling reasons to become a psychiatrist instead of a ninja. It wasn't that I was bad at it, it was just… Ok, so maybe I was a little bad at it. I was passable.

Granted, 'passable' wouldn't be good enough. Not if I wanted to save people.

Thankfully, I was paired with Ami, so I proceeded to happily beat the crap out of her. She was even worse than I was, desperate to show her 'soft and feminine side' to Sasuke. He had yet to notice.

Afterwards, we all had lunch. Sasuke sat as far from everyone else as he could as usual, while Kiba and Naruto tried to entice Shikamaru and I into a game of ninja.

"We're going to be ninja in a couple hours," I said slowly, frowning as I absently braided my hair. "Why do you want to play that?"

"Because we're going to be ninja in a couple hours!" Naruto shouted. "After today, we will be adults! We should act like kids while we can!" I stared flatly at him. I seemed to be doing that a lot with him.

"I guess your logic makes sense, but I'm too tired after all that taijutsu," I complained. Shikamaru grunted in agreement.

"Why are you so lazy?" Kiba whined. Akamaru barked in agreement.

"Because I can be," I deadpanned. "Now sit down. Just watching you is making me tired." He groaned and collapsed spread eagle on the ground.

"I hate you both."

"We hate you too." I cheerfully accepted Akamaru crawling from Kiba's jacket onto my lap, making sure to give him good ear scratches.

Ino and I were one of the last people to get tested on ninjutsu. I smiled at my sister as she pranced out with her new hitai-ate around her head. "You better not fail," she grinned. "It'll be a shame if one twin makes it and the other doesn't."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I rolled my eyes as I entered the room, then gave a lazy wave to both my sensei. "Yo."

"Hello, Inoko-chan," Mizuki-sensei smiled. Honestly, if I didn't know what a douchebag this guy was, I never would have guessed. "If you could perform a henge, a kawarimi, and three bunshin." Oh. This was going to be easy.

Transforming into my father was easy; I had done it dozens of times before when he was helping me practice. The kawarimi was a bit harder, but switching with objects was something I had been doing around the house for years, much to Mother's annoyance.

I had always found the bunshin easy, which drove Naruto crazy whenever I tried to help him with it. "It's too hard!" he had complained once after nearly an hour of attempts.

"It's an Academy jutsu for a reason," I replied patiently. "It's not too hard." Closing my eyes and sighing heavily, I continued, "Well, the problem isn't a lack of effort."

"I already told you that, dattebayo!"

"Maybe it's your control?" I mused. "Bunshin are kind of delicate, so if you aren't careful enough, you fry them."

"You think that might be what's happening?" he frowned. "Crap. How do I fix that?"

"More practice~"

"No!"

"Your bunshin?" Iruka-sensei sighed, snapping me back to reality. Right. In the middle of a test. Really ought to focus.

"Oh. Right. Heh, sorry about that, Sensei." I summoned my chakra and twisted it into three bunshin. The other Inokos blinked at each other before one of them finger gunned another. Yup, those were mine alright.

"That was satisfactory," he nodded, then offered me a headband. "Congratulations! You've passed." I whooped and ran out the door, barely pausing to grab it. "Eat that, Kiba!"

"Oh, you did pass," he said with a toothy grin.

"Don't be a pest, dog-breath," I said, pulling Akamaru off his head and placing him on mine. I got a lick on my new hitai-ate. "It makes you look dumber than you already are."

"Hey!" I looked around our group, searching for one particular blonde. Even with all my help, had he still…?

"Ino, have you seen Naruto?" I asked. She and Sakura were in the middle of a glaring contest. "Earth to Hormonal Girls. Where's Naruto?"

"Who knows?" Sakura shrugged. "I don't think he passed, though. He was looking pretty upset." Damn it. I had a choice here. Either find Naruto and talk him out of his insanely stupid plan to steal the Forbidden Scroll, or let the plot take its course. Tonight would be very important event for him, but augh I promised myself to derail the plot!

I felt a finger on my nose. "Hey. What's up?" Ino retracted her hand, smirking a little. "You had that look on your face. You know, the 'pondering mighty things' look." I waved her hand away, annoyed and bothered. Help him or leave him.

"I'm fine," I said irritably. "I'm going home. Tell Shika I said bye." I didn't give her time to respond before I jumped the wall, forcing myself to not track down Naruto. I was going to go home, take a shower, and throw myself into one of my textbooks.

"Inoko, is that you?" Dad called from his office as I shut the front door behind me.

"Yup," I responded. The more I thought about it, the better a shower sounded. I heard the noise of his chair rattling - Mother had been reminding him to get the wheels tightened for ages, but he never got around to it.

"Well, look at you!" Dad was beaming at me from the doorway. "Looks like one of my babies is a genin now."

"Very observant, Daddy," I muttered, pulling off my shoes. "Ino got her hitai-ate too, so the elders will be happy." He gave me a hug.

"Long day? You sound upset."

"Very." Dad planted a kiss on my head and began pushing me to the stairs.

"Go take a shower, sweetheart. Do you want any tea?"

"You know me so well." After I finished soaking in the steaming water, I wanted nothing more than kiss the person that invented indoor plumbing. "You are my favorite right now, Daddy," I said, hugging him from behind upon seeing a steaming cup waiting for me. "I almost love you as much as sushi."

"I've moved up then," Dad smirked. "I have some paperwork to finish in my office. I'll be done in about an hour."

"Ok, Dad, I'll be in the living room." I flopped down onto the couch with my biochemistry book, opening it up to a dog eared page.

I'd offhandedly studied biochemistry a very long time ago as part of my degree, but like I said, it had been a very long time ago and I didn't remember much of that class even before I… Plus the inclusion of chakra made everything so much more different and interesting. What is chakra? How is made, stored, used? How does it affect the body when used, why does chakra drain affect people when I know that people can quite easily survive without chakra?

Honestly, I could go on.

So many questions, so few answers, so little time. I wanted to learn sealing as well, but after a distant cousin experimented with a sealing scroll a bit too much… well, long story short Dad pretty much forbade me from experimenting with seals outside of a teacher, which in case one wasn't aware, was really hard to find.

So yeah, seals were a nope. Which meant that ninjutsu was probably my best bet at brute forcing my will onto the Plot. Somehow. I'd figure it out later.

After a good twenty minutes of trying to read the same page over and over again, still not really seeing the words, let alone understanding them, I came to the conclusion that I was approaching maximum sleep deprivation and needed to crash.

I cheerfully slammed my book shut and went upstairs to promptly pass out on my bed.

Ino woke me up three hours later by slinging the door open. Despite her repeated apologies, I could not sleep for the rest of the night.


	3. Lobelia Cardinalis

During the three glorious hours I managed to sleep, I had a dream about how Naruto and I first met. It had been at a late night ramen booth, of all things. I couldn't sleep and he had woken up from a nightmare hungry, and happened to be at the same ramen booth. He had recognized me from class that day, and plopped down right next to me and started talking.

"Hey, I know you! You're from my class! You have some weird name, like…"

"It's Inoko," I said, kind of annoyed that he didn't remember my name despite being in the same class for a couple years, but not surprised.

"Right, that's it! You like ramen too?"

"... Naruto, it's two in the morning. Why are you getting ramen?"

"Because it's delicious at anytime of day. Why are _you_ getting ramen?" he responded petulantly. I blinked.

"Because I don't sleep until really late, and I get hungry," I said slowly.

"Oh. Makes sense to me!" Naruto beamed at me. "What's your favorite ramen?" And so he went on, following me home to make sure I was ok. By that time, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to harden my heart to him and his infectious grin. I resigned myself then to the events I just knew I was going to have to go through with him.

And that's about when we jumped off the stools, turned the corner, and dived into the space ocean with zombies shambling after us and a vampire ocean warlord offering us protection in exchange for protection against the ramen nation, so it probably wasn't the most faithful dream. Anyway.

Despite tossing and turning for another hour after Ino arrived home, I could not go back to sleep. I wasn't in the mood for reading my usual books or training either. Just tired and a bit more irritable than usual, especially since my pseudo plan of just sleeping through tonight's events kind of failed.

I groaned, throwing my covers off and rolling over.

"I hate getting up," I muttered as I squinted against the light. "If I could sleep forever, I would be happy."

"You know, I would suggest that you and Shikamaru get married," Ino said dryly as I trudged down the stairs, "but I would be terrified at how lazy your child would be."

"Meh," I shrugged in response. "Don't tempt me." She stared at me for a second, trying to tell if I was being serious. "What's for dinner?" I asked as I shuffled into the kitchen.

After I finished eating, I joined the rest of my family in the living room. Resting my head on Ino's shoulder, I cracked open a book I had been meaning to finish for a while. Sakura had loaned it to me, gushing that it was one of the greatest books she had ever read.

It was a bit mushy for my taste, but not horrible. It didn't make me want to stab my eyeballs out like the last book she gave me, so that was a plus. Just the kind of mindless entertainment I liked.

I was finishing the last chapter by the time everyone else went to bed. "I would love to stay up late with you," Ino yawned, "but I have an early shift at the flower shop in the morning, so I need to go to bed."

"Ok, have fun," I replied, giving her a smile. I was still nowhere near sleepy. Tired? Yes. Utterly exhausted? Yes. Sleepy? Psh, naw fam, that would require my body to actually like me for once.

I ended up studying some old psychological files that Dad had given me a while back. My hobby, as strange as it was to some people, was to create psych profiles of everyone I interacted with. I had gotten quite good at it. It was both a useful tool and a way to actually use all the knowledge I had gathered in college a lifetime ago.

I wasn't sure how long I had been up until I heard the sharp alert of a siren. _Annnd that would be Naruto stealing the Forbidden Scroll_. I knew the drill after a few times. Sure enough, I could hear Dad stirring upstairs. He was pulling on his jacket as he came downstairs.

"Don't stay up too late, kiddo," he said as he walked out. Well, now I kind of wanted to stay up all night. But that was irresponsible, and I was a mature adult who could take care of herself.

… Ok, maybe not. But my point stands.

It felt like forever before Dad came home, tired, but relieved. I felt tension I didn't know was in me bleed out. _Naruto is ok. He wouldn't be that relaxed if he wasn't._ I wished that I could ask, but that would lead to all sorts of uncomfortable questions with answers I wasn't ready to give. And a trip to T &I. Which would not be fun for a variety of reasons.

I followed Dad on the way upstairs, quietly pestering him for information. Thankfully, that wasn't very odd for me.

"Can't say," he sighed as he reached the landing. "Top secret, you know." He smiled and tweaked my nose. I scrunched up my face in annoyance. "Goodnight, Inoko."

 _Stupid secretive parents. I'll get the information out of Naruto in the morning._

* * *

"Inoko-chaaaan!" I heard just before being tackled from behind. I was able to make a screeching sound of alarm before I hit the ground.

"What have I said about tackling me from behind," I asked, my voice muffled by the ground.

"Right! Sorry about that!" Naruto helped me to my feet and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "I was just so excited! I have something really cool to show you! Kage Bunshin!" I blinked as an identical clone appeared. "Cool, huh?" they chorused together. I stared for a few seconds, then turned and kept walking. Not today, Plot.

"It's too early for this," I muttered. "Naruto, we're getting coffee. My treat." He whooped and hoisted me over his shoulder. "Naruto!" I screeched. "Put me down! This is why I never get you anything but decaf!"

Another major reason I refused to get him anything aside from decaf, I thought as I watched him, was the fact that he more than made up for it with the amount of cream and sugar he put in it.

"You have a problem," I decided, nursing the hot mug. Nasty, foul liquid, but it did the job of artificially keeping me awake and aware.

"Says you," he stuck out his tongue.

"By the way, Naruto," I said. Now was better than ever to ask him what happened. "How did your test go yesterday?" A gloomy look passed over his face.

"Weeeelll," he said, dragging it out. "I failed." I pretended to be surprised and widened my eyes.

"That sucks." I said, taking a sip of my coffee. "But…?"

"But!" Naruto shouted, hitting the table and making me jump. "Iruka-sensei promoted me after I kicked Mizuki-sensei's butt!"

"... I'm going to need some context." Naruto went off on a tirade that I absently listened to for the next hour. He left out certain parts - those being top secret jinchuuriki stuff - and instead told me the rest. 'The rest' being how Mizuki was a dangerous sociopath who tried to murder an Academy student and teacher for personal gain. "Wow," I finally said. "That sounded pretty dangerous."

"Oh it was!" he grinned, not losing the chance to brag. "I was totally awesome, way more awesome than Sasuke could have been."

"Sasuke wouldn't have stolen the scroll in the first place," I replied dryly. He growled under his breath and then ran ahead of me. He was walking backwards, maintaining eye contact as I wandered around the market looking for fruit.

"That's because he's a stuck up little -"

"How much for the peaches?" I asked the vendor.

"Are you even listening?!"

"I've heard enough of you guys' rivalry to know what you're going to say." I finished paying for my peaches and gave him an amused glance. "'Oh look at me I'm way cooler than Sasuke' and 'hn' and 'Gasp! What did you say, dattebayo!'"

Naruto pouted at me. "Oh, come on!" I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to follow me.

"Come on, we've got our final class for team assignments."

"I totally forgot!" Naruto gasped, then he was gone, jumping over rooftops in the rough direction of his house. I stared after him.

"Universe, if I'm put on his team, I will track down your physical form, and repeatedly punch it in the face." That being said, I shouldered my bag of fruit and began my walk to the Academy.

I ran into Sakura and Ino speedily rage walking their way to the Academy. Sparks were almost literally shooting between their eyes. I watched them for a couple seconds before announcing my presence.

"Why are you guys walking like that…?" I asked.

"Oh, hi!" Sakura said cheerfully, pausing long enough to hug me. "What's in the bag?"

"Peaches," I said. I lifted it a little in their direction. "You guys want one?"

"Yummy!" Sakura said as Ino frowned and said, "I thought you didn't like peaches."

"Apricots," I corrected. "Those are gross. These are good. Shall we continue?"

When they had their fight - over Sasuke, because why not - I had refused to take sides and did my best to remain friends with Sakura as well. It had worked out pretty well, all things considered. Unfortunately, any cordiality vanished the moment a chance to win Sasuke's love appeared. I wasn't quite heartless enough to tell them that he didn't and would likely never care for them that way.

I had, however, never been more relieved to see the Academy gates.

"Morning, Iruka-sensei," I yawned. "Please save me. Would you like a peach?"

"Good morning," he said, and touched the top of my head. Ino and Sakura were somehow wordlessly bickering. Honestly, their rivalry sometimes amazed me even more than Naruto and Sasuke's. "Thank you, but no. Go on inside, and please, sit next to Sasuke so the others will pay attention."

I made a face, but nodded. Everyone was clearly excited, and talking loudly. Naruto - how on earth did he get here before me? - was staring at the door with a hopeful expression on his face. Crap. I really needed to get Sakura to talk to him soon.

"Yo," I said, waving at him. "How did you get here so fast?"

"I'll never tell!" he said cheerfully.

"Fine by me. Peach?" I sat next to Sasuke while the others were arguing on who was going to sit next to him. He barely gave me a look.

"No way, those are gro- Hey!" I glanced up at Naruto, confused. He seemed absolutely horrified. "You… you've fallen for his spell too? We were so close! Just one more day!"

"... What are you talking about?" I was so confused.

"Why else would you sit next to a loser like him?" Oh. Yeah, that made sense.

"... Because Sensei asked me to? So that other girls will actually focus on what he's saying?"

"Oh. Ok." Naruto sat on my other side, still glaring at Sasuke. He was so cute, acting like him sitting there would make me immune to Sasuke's emo charms. Shame I was already immune.

"Are you guys excited about graduating?" I asked after a few moments of silence. I wish I had brought something to read, if only to be able to ignore the terse silence between them.

"Of course!" Naruto shouted. "I gotta graduate before I become Hokage, dattebayo!" Sasuke was characteristically silent, so I elbowed him.

"What was that for?" he asked, annoyed.

"It's generally polite to respond when someone asks you a question," I deadpanned. He scoffed softly.

"I don't really care. It's just a stepping stone to my goal." _I wonder if I should tell him that he's not as cool and edgy as he thinks he's being._

"Hey, sis," Ino said sweetly, Sakura looking very annoyed behind her. "Can we switch seats?"

"No," I said, and placed my head on the desk. I was so tired right now. I really didn't want to do taijutsu today.

"Please? I'll buy you sushi." Oh, how tempting that was.

"No. I'm on a diet."

"A diet? You? Since when?"

"Since about ten seconds ago. Leave me alone."

"Meanie," she sighed, and walked away. I could almost feel Sasuke's relief. Naruto stood on the desk and stared at Sasuke's face. Definitely not putting any food there now or anytime in the near future, gross.

"What do girls like about you so much?" he demanded. "You're not that cool." _Wait for it…_

"Naruto!" Sakura shouted. "Stop glaring at Sasuke-kun!" Many other girls joined in. Ino seemed a bit torn between telling Sasuke to hit Naruto and not wanting to invoke my glare. I was very protective of my friends, Naruto included. The look insomnia gave me combined with a glare that I perfected in my previous life was useful for scaring people into obeying me, meaning that Sakura had stopped hitting Naruto a while back.

One of the other kids - Tetsu, I think his name was - laughed with one of his friends. "Oh man, that was funny!" He threw his arms behind his head and knocked Naruto forward. _There it is._

I watched impassively as Sakura, Ino, and several others stared in horror. The looks on their faces were almost as good as Naruto and Sasuke's. They pulled apart, gagging and spitting. Naruto sounded like he was dying.

"You jerk!" Naruto shouted. "I can't believe you stole my first kiss! Wait. I feel some kind of immense rage..."

"Naruto~" Sakura said with sweet venom in her voice. She cracked her knuckles as everyone glared at him. "You are so dead."

"S-Sakura-chan," he chuckled nervously. "It was an accident, dattebayo."

"Sure it was," Fumi growled. They all faltered as I began to grin.

"He said it was an accident," I said, smiling sweetly, but eyes promising death. Shikamaru affectionately called it my 'soul eating glare'. "I don't know about you, but I believe him. So. Back off, ladies."

There was a reason why most of the people in my class both disliked and feared me.

"I could have handled them," Naruto said as they filtered away.

"We both know that you wouldn't have touched Sakura," I rolled my eyes. "Now pay attention to Sensei."

I was fairly sure Sasuke muttered something along the lines of, "Like you have room to talk", but I let it slide. Today was team assignments. After today, it most likely wasn't my main problem.

I could hear Sakura and Ino debating who was going to be on Sasuke's team. It was really annoying, because while Sakura was one of my best friends, her voice drove me insane sometimes. "My money's on Sakura," I said, thinking of the image of Team Seven's picture. Ino made a sound that was somewhere between horror and insult.

"Why?" she hissed. I smiled.

"Because I can see the future," I deadpanned. She rolled her eyes. At least now she couldn't say I never tried to tell her if it ever came out.

Iruka-sensei started to lecture us on the duties and responsibilities of a shinobi. It was all stuff I had heard before, from either previous lectures or the elders, so I began to tune it out. It was only a few minutes long, though, and then he began to divide us into teams. I continued to ignore him until I heard a familiar name. "Team Three, Satou Tokaji, Ando Masahiko, and Haruno Sakura." _Wut._

"Ha!" Ino said triumphantly. "Clearly, I will be on Sasuke-kun's team!" _Nononono this isn't right. What did I do, what did I change?_ I was lost in my shock until Ino made a shocked screech.

"What did I miss?" I asked, confused at the glares I was getting from the girls.

"Team Seven," Iruka-sensei repeated. I felt a dawning sense of dread and horror. _No._ "Uzumaki Naruto." _No._ "Uchiha Sasuke." _No!_ "Yamanaka Inoko." I stared at Sensei for several seconds, then stood.

"Sensei, please excuse me while I throw myself off the Hokage monument."

"Stop being dramatic and sit down," he said, rolling his eyes. Naruto was whimpering a little behind me.

"I'm cursed, I know it, 'ttebayo."

"Drama queen," Sasuke scoffed.

"Both of you shut up," I muttered, rubbing my forehead. Team Eight came out as expected - Shino, Kiba, and Hinata -, as did Team Ten, my sister's team.

"I'll trade you," Ino said with a note of desperation in her voice. "You like Shikamaru and Chōji more than you like Naruto and Sasuke." I let my head collapse onto the desk with a thud.

"If you can convince Sensei, then by all means," I sighed, but I was inwardly… actually sort of happy that I had been put here, now that I thought about it. I liked Naruto just fine, and Sasuke was ok when he wasn't being angsty. Plus a front row seat to changing everything. But… Ugh. The Plot was such a pain.


	4. Lotus Corniculatus

Jōnin began to show up for their teams. Sakura got an Inuzuka guy. He seemed nice enough, but I could tell just by looking at him that his test was going to be brutal. Kurenai arrived shortly after, practically radiating excitement. Then came Asuma, but that was the end of the people I knew. The room emptied out, leaving the three of us and Iruka-sensei. Eventually, even he left.

"I'm sure that your jōnin sensei just lost track of time," he assured us before leaving. "I bet that he'll be here before you know it."

 _Fat chance_ , I thought an hour later. Naruto had quickly become bored and was messing with everything that could be messed with. The chalkboard fell victim, then some papers that I really hoped weren't important. He frequently checked the hallway for any sign of our sensei.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked exasperatedly as Naruto wedged a chalk eraser between the door and the frame. I could sense a lazily sparking chakra steadily drawing closer. Underneath the calm flow, I felt the tight wire underneath. Who ever it was - and oh boy I really wonder who it could possibly be - was prepared for whatever he encountered.

"Revenge!" Naruto grinned. "This is what our sensei gets for being so late!"

"Tch. Idiot."

"I think it's a good idea," I smirked. "Clearly, he doesn't respect our time, so there's only one way to teach him a lesson." Sasuke gave me a look. I grinned back at him. The lightning chakra came closer. Ooh, this was going to be good.

"Our teacher's a jōnin," Sasuke said quietly. "An elite ninja. You really think he'd fall for that?"

"I sincerely hope so," I frowned. "I'll be really disappointed if he doesn't." Sasuke scoffed again, but kept one eye firmly on the door regardless. There's the twelve year old boy.

The door opened, and our sensei's hair was covered with white dust as the eraser fell on his head. It was barely noticeable, thanks to its silver color. My mouth curved into a grin as Naruto laughed. Hatake Kakashi looked pretty much like I was expecting. Though seeing him in person did raise one question: What did he put in his hair to make it stick up like that? I needed to get me a bottle of that.

"I got him, I got him!" Naruto cheered. Sasuke's chakra shifted to disbelief.

"Nice shot, Naruto," I nodded.

Kakashi picked the eraser up from the floor and deliberately placed it on the desk. "Hmm… how can I put this?" he mused, rubbing his masked chin. "My first impression of you guys… Well, I hate you." Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other in surprise.

"It was just a joke," Naruto said quietly. My eyes narrowed. Something wasn't quite right about that.

"Well, we hate you too, Sensei," I smiled. "Can we all move on with our lives now that you're here?" I saw a glint of something in his only visible eye - either sadism or approval - but it vanished before I could decide which.

"Hmm. I suppose so." His eye closed in what I assumed to be a smile. "Let's meet up on the roof, shall we?" Then he vanished.

"Man, our sensei sucks," Naruto muttered.

"I don't know, he's kind of cute," I replied. They both gave me a horrified look.

"Who are you and what have you done with Inoko?" Naruto asked suspiciously. "Inoko never thinks guys are cute."

"Maybe that's just because all the guys in our class aren't attractive enough," I replied, staring at Sasuke. He almost flinched. I began to make my way up to the roof, ignoring Naruto and Sasuke's bickering behind me. Kakashi was waiting there for us, leaning casually on the railing. I sat on the nearby stairs and stared at the sky. Naruto and Sasuke sat on either side of me.

"Well, then, let's get started, shall we?" Kakashi said. "Why don't you introduce yourselves?" There was silence. _That's not ambiguous at all._

"You guys could try names, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future," I suggested from my lying down position. "Things like that. You go first, Sensei, and show us how it's done." I sat up and grinned.

"Hmm. Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi," he drawled. "I have no desire to tell you my likes and dislikes. My dream for the future… Hmm… I can't say I have one. As for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies."

"We didn't learn anything," Naruto whispered loudly. As revenge, I guessed from what little I remembered of his personality, Sensei gestured for him to go next.

"Oh! Ok!" Naruto said cheerfully. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like pork ramen, beef ramen, miso ramen, and just about every other kind of ramen! I don't like the three minute wait time for instant ramen! And I don't like Sasuke! My hobbies are eating ramen and training! And my dream… is to become the greatest Hokage! I'll surpass all the others! Then everyone will have to stop disrespecting me and start treating me like I'm somebody!"

"You know, Sasuke, I wonder if he likes ramen," I said dryly.

"Ok, now for the other blonde," Sensei replied with a bit too much cheer in his voice. Oh damn, putting me on the spot. Nice.

"I'm Yamanaka Inoko," I said, blinking slowly. "I like my immediate family, and my few friends, among sleep and various foods. I don't like people who think they're better than everyone else because of their experience or family, and I don't like green beans. I'm an insomniac, so I have lots of hobbies." I nodded at him after saying that. "One of them is creating psychological profiles for people I interact with often. My dream for the future… hmm… doesn't really matter right now. Suffice it to say that I want to become more powerful." I would have to in order to save my father.

Kakashi hummed softly, giving me a look. I stared back until he glanced over to Sasuke, nodding at him.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," he droned. "I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan, and kill a certain someone…" I sighed heavily.

"You're such a drama queen, Sasuke."

"Shut up, owl."

"That hurts, Sasuke. Gets me right here." I tapped over my heart before returning my attention to Kakashi. "What now, Sensei?"

"Well, you're each unique and you have your own ideas." He blinked a couple times before continuing. "We'll have our first mission tomorrow."

"What kind of mission are we going to have? Are we going to rescue princesses? Or overthrow an evil warlord?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"It's a task that the four of us will do together," Kakashi said. I got the distinct impression that he was smirking.

"What what what whaaat?" Naruto pleaded.

"A survival exercise," Kakashi replied casually. I could almost hear Naruto's dreams crashing and burning.

"Whaat?" he complained. "We did tons of those in the Academy."

Kakashi sighed. He seemed annoyed that he had to deal with us at all. _At least_ _**pretend**_ _like you want to be here._ "This is not like your previous training."

"What's the catch?" I asked slowly as Naruto scratched his head beside me. Kakashi cocked his head to the side and pretended to be confused. "There's always a catch, Sensei. I can promise you that I'm smarter than I look. So what exactly will we be doing?" A bit of a dark aura began to leak out of our new teacher. He began to laugh softly and menacingly.

"What's so funny?" Naruto whispered to me. "It was a normal question, right?"

"If I tell you the answer, you're not going to like it~" Kakashi said. A smile crept across my face.

"Try us, Sensei," I said.

"Well, of the twenty seven kids who graduated from the Academy, only nine will become genin." Naruto's eyes widened, and even Sasuke seemed a bit surprised. Determined, but surprised nonetheless. "The other eighteen will be sent back to the Academy. In other words, this is a pass/fail test with an extremely high fail rate of sixty-six percent or more. See? I told you you wouldn't like it."

"Then what was that graduation test for, then?" Naruto demanded. "We worked hard to get here!"

"Oh, that? That was just to weed out the completely hopeless, and to select the candidates who _might_ become genin. Or not." He sounded very nonchalant about the whole matter.

I was liking him more and more.

"Whaaat?!" Naruto gasped.

"Well, that's how it is," Sensei smiled. His voice hardened. " _I_ decide whether you become genin or get sent back to the Academy. Be at Training Ground Three with your complete weapon set at five A.M." Naruto fumed next to me, and Sasuke's knuckles were white. I raised my hand.

"Can we go home now? I'm hungry and drowning in testosterone over here."

"Hmm… Yes, you're dismissed. And I just remembered. Don't eat breakfast tomorrow morning, unless you enjoy throwing up." He shunshined away, leaving us behind.

"Well, I think he's a pretty nice guy," I decided, standing.

"Nice?" Naruto spluttered. "He didn't tell us anything about himself, he was insanely late, and he's all around a jerk!"

"I learned quite a bit about him, though. Maybe you weren't paying attention," I mused.

"How did you learn anything about him?" Sasuke finally said. "I hate to agree with Naruto, of all people, but he has a point."

"The fact that he was late can tell us two things: One, he's either forgetful or irresponsible. Two, he just doesn't care about being on time." I held up two fingers. "The fact that he's a jōnin means that it's likely the later. He didn't want to tell us about his likes and dislikes, meaning that it's likely not for the ears of children, or that he just doesn't care about life that much. This is backed up by the fact that he doesn't care about punctuality and the fact that he has no dream for the future. I'd peg his age at around mid-twenties, meaning that he almost certainly fought in the Third War, so probably some kind of trauma in his background as well. If he is in fact in his mid-twenties, then he was just a few years older than us during the Kyuubi attack." Sasuke was too focused on my words to notice, but I saw Naruto's slight squirming. "He said that he has lots of hobbies, but didn't even name one. So again, probably not for the ears of children."

I blinked slowly, allowing the information to sink in. Creating psychological profiles for the past five years meant that I could now make a fairly basic one on the fly. I figured it was a fairly useful skill to have.

"If you put that all together, then you find out that our new sensei is almost certainly a man that's had PTSD since he was our age or younger, has done a lot of things in life that he's not proud of, and deals with the bad memories with things that could be considered perverted. It's pretty obvious." Naruto gaped at me, and Sasuke seemed shocked as well. "... What?"

"It was not obvious!" Naruto shouted. "I never would have seen that in a million years!"

"He's right," Sasuke said quietly. "To have extrapolated that amount of information out so so few words…"

"I've been doing this for a while," I laughed nervously. "You remember when Naruto shut the school down for a week with one of his pranks? I spent it making profiles for a good deal of people in the clan. I've gotten good at it, I guess."

"Hey hey hey!" Naruto waved his hand. "Have you made one for me?"

"Nooo," I said slowly. "After doing Ino and Shikamaru, I decided that adults are much more interesting than children, and don't bother with them. I'm sure that Sasuke would be an interesting one," I mused, talking more to myself at this point than anything else. "Anyway! I'm going home now. See you in the morning."

Saying that, I proceeded to get the crap out of there. My new team was a can of worms I would put off opening until absolutely necessary.


	5. Datura Stramonium

"G'mornin', Inoko," Naruto yawned the next day. I looked up from the bomb I was making in surprise. I wasn't actually expecting either of them for a while yet. Except - Oh. It was about time for them to be here. So much to do, so little time. "Ugh. It's too early for any of th- Are you ok?" He frowned at me.

"Yeah, why? Am I bleeding?"

"Your eyes are… How much sleep did you get last night?" I blinked.

"Sleep? Oh, none, I've been here since dinner setting up traps. I would be careful out there, I put a large clump of paper bombs somewhere over…" I spun around, frowning. "I don't remember where I put them, actually. Oh well, I'll just make more." They weren't my problem anymore, ahaha!

"You have a problem," Sasuke said flatly, appearing nearby. He did actually look mildly concerned, which was more expression than he normally showed.

"Yeah, it's called insomnia," I snorted. "Mix it with nine cups of coffee, and I have all the time in the world to set up traps!" I laughed (a bit maniacally, I'm sure Ino would say) and ran a hand through my hair. Huh. I ought to redo it before Kakashi got here and started putting us through our paces.

I pulled out my hair tie and put it back up. "That reminds me!" I pulled another travel mug out of my pack. "Coffee? No? Ok." I drank half of the cold liquid in one go. "Alright!" I said cheerfully. "I'm ready." An explosion went off nearby. "That… wasn't supposed to go off for another couple hours."

"You have multiple problems," Sasuke amended.

"I already knew that, idiot. Bagel?" I didn't give him the option to accept before taking a bite. "Could use some cream cheese," I muttered to myself. "I know I brought some…" I rummaged through my bag, confused as I found a cluster of kunai I could have sworn I put in one of my traps. "Did I seriously put the cheese there? Oh well, that's why I brought the other peaches. You guys want some?"

"Sensei told us not to eat," Naruto said, confused. "Won't you get in trouble?"

"It wath a thuggethtion," I said with a mouthful of bagel. I popped a strawberry in for good measure. Swallowing, I continued, "At least I'm pretty sure. I'm banking on him not being here for at least another two hours, aaaand that reminds me. Naruto, could you send like three shadow clones to get hot coffee, cream cheese, a history textbook, and four pieces of cardboard? I could also use some chocolate, a yellow poppy, and a cup of coffee. It is very important that the poppy is yellow."

"You said coffee twice," Naruto frowned.

"Did I? Huh. Well, that ought to tell you how badly I need it. Here's the money, just send off some clones." He blinked in surprise, glanced at Sasuke, and made the clones. They ran off like the devil himself was chasing them. "Ok, now that that's taken care of," I muttered, twirling a lock of hair around. "What was I going to do…?"

I stared blankly into space as Naruto whispered to Sasuke, "She's kind of scaring me."

"Right!" I screeched suddenly. "I was going to… wait. That's not going to work…"

"You said that you've been setting up traps, right?" Sasuke said after listening to me mumble to myself for a while. I jerked up and got in his face. He pulled back a little.

"Oh, don't mind me," I said, not blinking. I plucked a strand of hair from the duck butt and inspected it. "What were you saying?"

"... Where did you place all of your traps?"

"Hmm, not going to say. Naruto, I need a strand of your hair."

"Why not?" Naruto demanded as Ducky - I giggled to myself as I thought that - glared at me.

"Hm? Oh, because of my analysis of Sensei. He'll likely be too lazy to fight us himself, so I set the traps for you guys." _Will these do?_ I wondered as I compared the hairs. "And if he does fight us himself, then hopefully some of my traps will get him."

"And if they get us?" Sasuke asked.

"There's a reason they taught us kawarimi in the Academy, silly," I rolled my eyes. "Just be faster than my traps, and good luck with that! Oh! The clones are back~"

Quickly tearing through the food, I absently watched the boys out of the corner of my eye. They were… wary. On their guard, because I had shown that I was a potential threat.

Bet they weren't expecting that.

A grin curved the corner of my mouth. _This will be good. If I can just make sure that they have enough training during the chūnin exams… No. They'll not have enough training to deal with him. That won't happen for a long time._ I was in a grim mood now. Great. _Just focus on passing Kakashi's test, Inoko._

I left the two of them to reset a couple of timed traps, check the triggers on a few others, and set up the last three. When I got back, they were both leaning against the wooden posts, ignoring each other. I stuck the poppy in my ponytail and brushed my bangs out of my face.

"Why did you want the history book, Inoko?" the other blond on the team asked.

"You'll see," I said slyly. I could have sworn I heard a soft "eep" come from him, but I ignored it. Time passed, and Sensei still didn't show up. Normally, I would have been using the opportunity to nap, but after all the coffee I had ingested, all I could do was bounce my leg at inhuman speeds while sitting on one of the posts. There was nothing else I _could_ do. Triple checking my traps would be futile. Best to meditate and practice my sensing a little while I could.

Oh, there he was.

"Morning everyone," Sensei said once he arrived, looking like entirely too casual. Should I have said something to the boys? Maybe. Was too deeply immersed in caffeine to say anything? Absolutely, this was going to be grreeat! "Ready for your first day?"

"You're late!" Naruto shouted in my ear. I jumped, my limbs finally finding the will to move.

"A black cat crossed my path, you see," he lied cheerfully. "So I had to take the long way." The boys stared at him, clearly wondering if he actually thought we believed him. "Well then. Let's get started." He pulled an alarm clock out of his bag and placed it on one of the wooden posts. "It's set to go off at noon," Sensei explained. "Your assignment is to take these two bells away from me before then."

"Is negotiation an option?" I asked. If there was one thing I had learned from hanging out with Shikamaru, it was to take the easy way out when possible. Smart-lazy, my mother in a previous life once called it. Plus I wasn't sure how effective I'd be in a fight as hopped up as I was.

"No," he said flatly, then kept going in a normal voice. "If you can't get them, then you won't get lunch. You'll be tied to one of those posts while I eat your bento in front of you." He pulled three bentos from his bag and - _holy frick on a stick, were those deluxe Akimichi bento boxes?!_ The stakes were real now, and nothing could be more important. Well. Passing the test and actually becoming a genin was probably more important. But the bento was a close second. Naruto screeched in horror as Sasuke stared at Kakashi, clearly annoyed.

"Man, am I glad I disregarded that advice!" I said cheerfully. "I offered you guys some food, but you said no!" Turning serious, I gave Sensei a flat stare. "What's the catch, Sensei? Either you misplaced a bell, or you're trying to pit us all against each other." He laughed.

"You're right, you _are_ smarter than you look. This way, at least one of you will be tied to the post, and ultimately disqualified for failing. That one goes back to the Academy." He jingled the bells. "Then again," he mused, "all three of you could fail, and go back to the Academy. You can use any weapon at your disposal, any jutsu you know. If you're not prepared to kill me, you won't get the bells." _I see,_ I thought, hardening my expression. _People hold back when they're not trying to kill. He's testing our abilities, and the only way to do that is if we actually are trying to kill him. Clever. He's a jōnin, so the chances of us actually injuring him are low._

"You couldn't even dodge a chalkboard eraser!" Naruto laughed. "We'll probably end up needing a new sensei if we try to kill you."

"In this world, those who aren't skilled enough tend to complain more," Sensei said. "You can safely ignore them. Lowest scores. Losers." Naruto growled.

"He's baiting you, Naruto," I said quietly. "I have no doubt that he read up on us this morning, or even before we even met him."

"When I say start, you can begin," he continued. My warning evidently fell on deaf ears. Naruto pulled a kunai out of his holster and charged him. Kakashi moved faster than my eyes could keep up. _Impressive._ One of his hands held Naruto's head, and the other grasped the kunai with Naruto's hand attached, holding it so the point was directed at the soft spot where skull and spine met. "Don't be in such a hurry," Kakashi scolded. "I didn't say start yet."

Man, I _had_ to get one of those bells. The things he could teach me…

"But ninja are sneaky little tricksters, Sensei," I mused. "Shouldn't we attack before the enemy thinks we will?"

"Perhaps. But not today. However, you came at me with the intent to kill, so… how can I say this?"

"Begin?" I suggested.

"I'm actually starting to like you guys," Sensei said with a note of amusement. "Get ready." I jumped off the post and settled into a stance. "And… start!" Sasuke and I jumped away into the forest. _First things first: find a hiding place that I haven't boobytrapped._ It… wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, though by the flare of annoyance I felt occasionally, Sasuke was having a much harder time. I settled into a tree with a basic henge, then sat back and watched the show.

"Ninja must know how to conceal their movements and hide effectively," Kakashi said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, Sasuke and Inoko understand that much… They've hidden well." Then he noticed Naruto standing on the post I had recently vacated.

"You and me, pal!" Naruto shouted. "Right now, fair and square! Let's go!" Sensei's chakra resembled nothing more than 'is he actually serious' and a hint of something I figured to be exasperated fondness? That didn't make much sense… I frowned, trying to remember things from a previous life. _I need to sleep, and then mind walk myself. I don't remember shit._

"You know, compared to the others, you're a little bit… weird," Kakashi said.

" _I'm_ weird?! Have you seen Inoko?!" _Wow, Naruto, thanks so much._ "Stop trying to distract me! The only thing weird _here_ is your hair!" _I like his hair…_ Naruto charged him yelling, but pulled back as Sensei reached into his weapons pouch.

"Shinobi Battle Techniques, part one," Sensei said casually, pulling his hand out. "Taijutsu." An orange book came out, open about halfway. It was all I could do to contain my laughs at the look on Naruto's face. I knew that book.

"What the…"

"What's the matter? Weren't you going to attack me?" Sensei asked, his eyes glued to the pages.

"But… I mean, why are you reading that book?!" Poor Naruto, he looked so confused and utterly flabbergasted. What a great word, flabbergasted.

"Why? Because I want to find out what happens next, of course. Don't let it bother you. With your weak attacks, it doesn't really matter if I'm reading or… whatever." Naruto screamed in frustration.

"I'm going to tear you apart!" he roared. Sensei easily blocked his punch and ducked under his spin kick. He still hadn't taken his eyes off the book. Naruto punched, but just before his fist connected with Kakashi's face, the jōnin vanished. "Huh?"

"Ninja shouldn't let the enemy see your back multiple times, idiot," Sensei said, crouching behind him. _His hands are in a Tiger hand seal, likely meaning that it's a fire ninjutsu. But he said that he was using taijutsu, so it's probably something else. Hopefully. Meh, he'll be fine. Probably._ "Too late. Leaf Village Ultimate Taijutsu!" I could swear his eye was glinting. "One Thousand Years of Death!" he shouted, shoving his fingers - up Naruto's butt. I snickered. Naruto screeched and jumped away, landing in the water. _I hope he washes his hands before eating or anything._ "Ok. Where was I?" he said, pulling his book open again.

Two shuriken shot out from the water as I felt a burst of chakra there as well. _Shadow clones?_ I mused as Sensei caught each shuriken on a finger. Naruto crawled out of the water, sputtering and gasping for air.

"What are you doing now?" Sensei sighed. "You're not going to get lunch if you don't get a bell."

"I know!" Naruto snapped. "You told us already!"

"You look pretty wobbly for someone who's going to 'surpass the Hokage'," he continued.

"I can't fight if I'm hungry!" he shouted. I popped a strawberry in my mouth. Good thing I grabbed my supplies before I boltd. "I just got a bit careless earlier! Man, I'm hungry… but I got to get a bell! I'll find the strength somehow… I'm going to pass this stupid test of yours, and I'm not going back to the Academy. _For the sake of the world, I sincerely hope not._ "I _will_ become a ninja!" Having said that, shadow clones burst out of the water and ran towards Kakashi. "You were overconfident, Sensei! That's why you weren't ready for my favorite jutsu!"

"Your clones may be solid, but you're still the worst student. You can't beat me with this jutsu." That's about when a Naruto grabbed him from behind. _I could probably use the Mind Transfer Jutsu right now, but there's a risk of hitting one of the clones, and I don't particularly feel like it right now, plus I have absolutely no idea what would happen to me if I did that. Why are they holding down his legs and not grabbing the bells?!_ A final Naruto jumped into the air and pulled back his fist.

"This is for nailing me in the butt earlier!" he shouted. Then Naruto punched himself. _And there's a kawarimi. Sensei went to the Academy too, you know._ But of course, Naruto's brain went straight to the henge, and all of them began beating each other up until one of them got the bright idea to dispel all of the clones, leaving one Naruto standing.

The glint of a bell caught Naruto's eye, and mine as well. Well… I could, I suppose, but… nah, that was cheating. On second thought, ninja were supposed to cheat, right?

 _Didn't I stick a snare trap there…?_ Naruto went bouncing up into the air. _I guess I did._ Sensei lazily approached, leaned down to pick up the bell, and - _now!_

I switched with Sensei, scooped up the bell, and stuck it in my bra. "Ha!" I laughed, then kawarimied again with a nearby log. I found another hiding spot and waited. _At least it's not cold,_ I thought as the bell pressed against my skin.

"Hmm. Not bad," Sensei sighed. "I guess that Inoko gets lunch, at least. Naruto, think before you use a jutsu. An opponent might use it against you otherwise. Oh, and also… if the bait is obvious, don't take it. Idiot." Naruto snarled and writhed around. "A ninja must see through deception."

"I. Get. It!" he howled.

"I'm telling you this because you _don't_ get it. You think you get it, which is not the same as actually getting it. Your movements are wasteful. Won't you ever lea- Agh!" Some of Sasuke's kunai and shuriken hit him. Oh dear.

"Agh! Sasuke, you killed him! Agh!" Naruto screamed. I had felt the kawarimi, though, so wasn't too alarmed. _Ah, the joys of being reincarnated and being ultrasensitive to chakra._ 'Kakashi' poofed into a burst of smoke and revealed itself to be nothing more than a log. Sasuke began to move. I closed my eyes and focused on the various chakras around me. Sensei was a decent distance away, thankfully. He was also hiding his chakra, but hardly at all. _Underestimating me, Sensei? Well, I should probably cut Naruto down then find Sasuke._

I stood at the base of the tree and watched him hang for a few moments. He scowled at me.

"Please don't get caught in such an obvious trap again, Naruto," I sighed before throwing a kunai. He landed on his head pretty hard. Oof, that had to hurt. "Ne, Naruto, if you help me defeat Sensei, I'll share my bento with you. Sound good?" His stomach growled in response. "I'll take that as a yes. You find Sensei - or better, hold our lunch hostage, and I'll find Sasuke."

"Right!" he said. "Thanks for the help, Inoko, I owe you one!" I closed my eyes as he ran off, and focused on Sasuke's chakra. _There._ I took off, keeping Sensei and Sasuke in my mental radar and - wait, why were there two Senseis?

… Frick.


	6. Verbascum Thapsus

I steered clear of the clone directly in my path and kept going. I stopped behind some bushes when he appeared in my line of vision. _He didn't notice me._ Narrowing my eyes, I focused on his chakra, - _Just standing there is a bit obvious, so -_ only to discover that it was a normal clone. And now I had lost track of where Sensei was.

"Inoko. Behind you."

"Frick on a stick!" I shouted, lashing out with a fist. He vanished, and chakra coated my senses, dulling my reaction. _No. Not again. Not again!_ A memory of when I was a baby forced its way up and I was _drowning in burning red chakra, scared and helpless and oh god where was I why was I so small oh please god no no no-_

"Kai!" I snarled, slamming my hands together. "Screw you, Sensei!" I shouted. "I hate genjutsu…" I could sense Sensei now, and his chakra was the equivalent of my 'wut' face. "Where is that obnoxious duck boy?" I wondered, making my way over.

It took me a while to track him down, due to the repeated genjutsu that Sensei's clone kept hitting me with. They were steadily more and more subtle and complex, and it was taking me a little bit longer each time to shake them off. I was feeling particularly murderous by the time I arrived at the clearing where I could feel Sasuke's chakra.

And there went my bad mood. Honestly this was pure gold. "Where is he?" I thought out loud. "I know he's around here somewhere." He was getting steadily more annoyed.

"Inoko," he finally said. I looked down to see him buried up to his neck in the ground.

"Pfft." I couldn't contain myself. By the time I had my laughter under control, at least five minutes had passed. "Looks like someone got caught by the Headhunter jutsu," I teased, crouching in front of him.

"Get me out of here!" he snarled.

"Not until you say please~" Sasuke kept glaring, then looked away.

"Please get me out of here," he muttered.

"Of course," I bowed gallantly, then used an earth jutsu to pull him out. "Now, duck boy, what is your oh so brilliant mind telling you?"

"I've got to get a bell before lunch," he muttered, ignoring me. "That doesn't leave much time." Then he glanced at my chest. I'd be offended if it weren't for the fact that I knew he was looking at the bell.

"If you're planning on reaching down my bra, you've got another think coming."

"Tch. Like I need your bell. A while ago, I touched the remaining bell. I can take it the next time. Unlike you, I'm strong enough to _take_ the bell." I shrugged.

"I'm a lazy person by nature, Sasuke. I take what I can get when I can get it. If you aren't willing to do that, then maybe you should just give up and try again next year." Sasuke glared at me, but something about it was different. I met his gaze, blinking slowly. He looked away and I felt his chakra darkening. _Cue dramatic wind._

"I'm the only one who can kill that man," he whispered. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well. "I am an avenger. That means I must be stronger than my prey. I need this training; there's no time for setbacks."

"While I'm sure that's true, the timer is going to go off any minute now, so you might want to work on getting that bell," I drawled, shoving my hands in my pockets and walking past him. The ringing of the alarm centered me. "Well, what do you know? There it is. Come on, Sasuke."

As it turned out, Naruto heeded my advice when I suggested taking the lunches hostage. Unfortunately, Sensei caught him and tied him to the middle post. I burst out laughing when I saw him.

"Sorry about the crappy advice, Naruto," I said, poking him in the cheek. "But I got a bell, so that works out." His stomach growled at me, and Sasuke's responded. I could feel my own tightening.

"Uh-oh, stomachs are growling," Sensei said with folded arms. "That's… too bad. Oh, and by the way, about this exercise… Well, I've decided that there's no need to go back to the Academy." Naruto gasped with delight and Sasuke smirked. I merely lay against one of the posts and blinked. There was something about Kakashi-sensei's chakra that I didn't quite trust.

"That- that- that means that all three of us…!" Naruto grinned, wriggling in his ropes.

"Yes!" Sensei smiled as if he were talking to young children. "All three of you must quit being ninja." Silence fell across the clearing.

"... That's a little harsh, Sensei," I said after several seconds. "Care to explain your reasoning?"

"Quit being ninja?!" Naruto panicked next to me. "What do you mean? I mean, you said that if we can't take the bells, we'll be sent back to the Academy, but Inoko got a bell and you're failing her too?!"

"Because not one of you think like shinobi, you think like little kids," he said lazily. "Like brats." Sasuke shot past us, attempting to stab Sensei.

"That's a bad idea," I called after him, but by that point it was too late. Sensei threw him to the ground and sat on his back, one foot on his head and twisting his arm behind him.

"You think it's all about you," Sensei explained. "You don't know what it means to be a ninja, you think it's a game! Why do you think we put you on squads?! Did you consider that question for one second?"

Oh. _Oh. Ooohh._ I was such an idiot. I, a Yamanaka, part of a clan that is _known_ for its teamwork. Failed to see this basic lesson.

"This is why I shouldn't stay up all night," I muttered, smacking my forehead. "I miss the big picture. You were trying to force us to work together by making it impossible to take a bell by ourselves. I only got one because you weren't anticipating a kawarimi. I'm sure that you would have stopped me in a second if you wanted to."

"Now you get it," he said sarcastically. "The answer to this pass/fail test is teamwork!"

I looked away from his cold stare, embarrassed. _Why didn't I think of that? Crap, I know that Shikamaru would have noticed that much. He's going to rub this in my face later, I just know it._

Sensei sighed heavily. "Well, it seems that you guys understand my point, at least. I'll give you one more chance after lunch. However, Naruto doesn't get any because he tried to steal the lunches." He met our eyes, one by one. "You have half an hour."

Kakashi vanished. I could still sense him hovering around the clearing, waiting to see what we would do. If he was truly expecting me to obey him though, he had another think coming. Honestly, he couldn't have been more obvious if he had tried. Just finished telling us about how our test was about teamwork and looking out for your team, and then he tells us to leave Naruto to starve?

Haha, yeah, no.

"Sasuke, how fast can you eat two thirds of your bento?" I asked out of the corner of my mouth. He frowned at me.

"Why?"

"If we each eat two thirds of our bento, that will leave Naruto two thirds."

"Sensei said not to feed him," Sasuke pointed out, glancing at him. I glanced over as well before meeting his eyes.

"Yeah, I know. I think this is another test. Break the rules in favor of teamwork or abandon teamwork in order to stick to the rules." I scanned the treeline for any sign of Kakashi. "Naruto, I'm going to cut your ropes and give you the rest of my bento, ok? Sasuke and I will do our best to keep Kakashi-sensei off your back while you refuel. I know all those clones must have taken a lot out of you, and you haven't eaten since last night."

I glanced at them, barely waiting for their nods.

"What if this is a trap?" Sasuke asked, shovelling his portion in his mouth.

"Then we all go out fighting. Together. Like shinobi."

Naruto was grinning from ear to ear, and I knew that even if I had damned us, I wouldn't regret my choice.

"Are you guys ready?" I murmured, touching the handle of a kunai.

"Hell yeah!" Naruto shouted. Sasuke and I both glared at him as he visibly cringed. "Sorry."

"Now," I hissed, slicing his ropes. Naruto had barely taken the bento from me when Sensei dropped in front of us with a smoke bomb for added effect.

"What do you think you're doing?" he said with sickening sweetness, a small dose of killing intent in the air.

"Naruto, scram!" I shouted, not taking my eyes off Sensei for a second. Sasuke was right beside me, holding out a kunai between him and Sensei. As if that would stop him from killing us in a heartbeat.

"You broke the rules," Kakashi observed, a glint in his eye that I didn't like at all.

"The way I see it, I'm going down either way," I snapped, "and I'd rather go down with my team than alone."

"Hm, I see. And does little Sasuke-kun feel the same way?" I caught Sasuke glancing at me from the corner of my eye before he briefly nodded. "Hm. Well, you know what this means."

He began to form handsigns. I didn't recognize the jutsu, but I sure as hell wasn't going to stand here and let him finish it. I mean, how dumb would I have to be to do that?

I put my hands up into the infamous Yamanaka seal and threw my soul forward. He didn't even move.

Being in someone else's body was… strange, to say the least. No matter how many times I did it, it felt so awkward. Kakashi-sensei was about three and a half inches taller than I had been in my previous life, but after living in a much smaller body for twelve years, I had gotten used to being short. _Ne, Sensei, were you expecting this?_ I said in the now shared mindspace.

I yanked the bell off my new belt and threw it at Sasuke. He caught it with ease.

"Sasuke, track down Naruto and give that to him!" I shouted. The deeper voice threw me off a little, but it was nothing I wasn't used to.

"Inoko!" Naruto shouted, bursting from the trees to hover over my limp body. "Oh my gosh, are you ok? Inoko!"

"I'm fine," I said with amusement. Naruto stopped panicking over my body and looked up.

"What! Did you…?"

"Yes, Naruto, I threw my soul out of my body and took control of our sensei's body," I rolled my eyes. "What do you think I do in my training time, read porn like our beloved sensei?"

"But... You're a girl."

"I'm so glad that you've noticed that, Naruto."

"And you're in a guy's body." I froze.

"Oh, sweet frick on a stick!" I screeched, hopping around. "Oh, gross, gross, gross! This is so gross! How do you guys stand this?!" I demanded just before releasing the jutsu.

"It's so gross," I whined back in my own body.

"I think I've been violated on a personal level," Sensei muttered under his breath.

I pulled the bell from my bra and gave it to Naruto. Sasuke still had the other one in his hand.

"Gross! Boob bell!" Naruto wailed. I stuck it down his shirt and laughed as he writhed. "But Inoko, if you have the bell, then you can't pass!"

"Don't care," I shrugged with a small smile. "You're going to be Hokage, and Sasuke has angsty things to do. Me? I'd rather be a psychiatrist. So, therefore, you two are the ones that should have the bells." Naruto looked at his bell, then at Sasuke's. I could feel Sensei's gaze on us, quietly assessing.

"And here I thought owls were supposed to be wise," Sasuke said, dropping his bell in the remnants of my lunch. I screeched in horror as I dove for it.

"You do not defile an Akimichi deluxe bento with a filthy bell that you have no idea where it's been! This one's yours now, Sasuke. I'm taking what's left of your bento as penance." Sensei began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Naruto demanded.

"Oh, nothing," Sensei said with a dorky eye smile. "Only that… you passed~" We all stopped and stared at him. "The point of this test is to put the team above yourself, no matter what. I think that you three have shown that pretty well in the past few minutes."

"Nobody cares about your stupid test anymore, Sensei," I deadpanned. I could feel the caffeine crash coming; I wanted some form of food in my stomach to at least alleviate the side effects. "I want to finish my freaking food."

"In a minute, in a minute," he said, walking towards the memorial stone. "Did you three take a look at this? The names engraved on this stone are all shinobi who are honored as village heroes."

"That's it!" Naruto said cheerfully. "I've decided that I wanna have my name engraved on there too!"

"No, you wouldn't like that," I said softly, placing the bento on the ground beside me. There was a heavy feeling in my chest. "These are a special kind of hero."

"Why would I not like that?" he demanded.

"Because those are the names of shinobi that have been killed in action." The elevated mood quickly vanished. "My aunt is on here. She was killed on a mission when I was six." I still remembered how hard my mother cried that day. I walked up next to Sensei and gently touched her name. "I wouldn't doubt that you all have precious people here as well."

"This is a memorial stone," Sensei agreed. "The names of my closest friends are on here. People die on missions because their teammates didn't try hard enough. Because they didn't work together. Let this be a lesson to you. Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are even worse trash."

"Wise words," I hummed. I dropped my hand and looked up at Kakashi. "Well, Sensei? What now?"

"Well, you all pass!" he said cheerfully. "Squad Seven starts its first mission day after tomorrow!"

"Sounds good to me," I shrugged, picking up my pack. As Naruto sang out his victory to the world, I gently shoved Sensei. "I don't know who you lost, but I don't think that we'll go the same way." I gave him a flat look. "That was then, and this is now. Leave the past in the past. Try to remember that." _Well, it's a start on repairing the utter mess that is Hatake Kakashi_ , I thought, feeling his gaze bore into my back. _Too much? Maybe. But he'll learn soon enough that I'm not your average kid._

I chose roughly that moment to crash from sleep deprivation. Because I was an idiot that didn't think she needed sleep. Fun.

The last thing I thought before falling asleep was how blue the sky was that day.

* * *

 _10/26_ _Bell test. Uchiha Sasuke: performed as expected. Demonstrated the Uchiha Grand Fireball jutsu and adequate taijutsu. Dislikes teamwork and his teammates. He seems to feel that they'll hold him back. He mentioned during our first meeting that he wished to 'kill a certain someone'. Suspect he spoke of his brother._

 _Uzumaki Naruto: performed as expected. Headstrong with no regard for his own safety. Demonstrated the kage bunshin and barely adequate taijutsu. Dislikes Sasuke strongly and seems unsure of Inoko. Has ambition to become Hokage. Strong fondness of ramen. Seems slightly stupid._

 _Yamanaka Inoko: did not have sufficient opportunity to observe abilities. Hid during entire exercise, only appearing to steal a bell bait for a trap and at the end. Used signature Mind Transfer jutsu against me to give remaining bell to Sasuke. Gave bell she had stolen to Naruto, claiming that she wanted to be a psychiatrist. Stayed up entire night before to set up traps, strongly suspect insomnia. Strong sensitivity to genjutsu, being able to identify when she was under and break them. Appears to be fond of teammates, but didn't realize the point of exercise until prompted._

 _All three passed. Will test Inoko's knowledge further._


	7. Cupressaceae Thuja

I woke up in my bed. This was strange, considering that the last thing I remembered was passing my second test and talking to Sensei. It had been noon then, roughly, and now it was… I rolled over and squinted at my alarm clock. Eight A.M. blinked back at me. _Did I actually sleep for twenty hours? Nice._

And then the door slammed open. Enter sister.

"Time to get up!" Ino announced. "You have a shift at the shop in an hour!"

"I wish you would consult me before giving me shifts," I moaned. "You suck."

"Too bad!" she said cheerfully, yanking my covers off. "You've been sleeping for nearly twenty hours! Get up and be productive."

"Will stabbing your face off be productive? Because that's the only reason I'll be getting out of bed in the next few minutes." Despite my death threats, Ino got me out of bed and in the shower in about ten minutes. _They don't even faze her anymore_ , I sulked, basking in the hot water. Glorious. _I need to figure out a way to make her leave me aloooone._

"We're having a girls day out after your shift is done," Ino informed me as she dragged me to the flower shop, groaning all the way. "We'll go get lunch, and talk about our teammates, and then don't forget that your flowers need weeding."

"I know, I know," I growled. "'Talk about our teammates' my rear end, you just want to know what Sasuke did." I paused in front of the flower shop, sighing heavily.

"You know me so well," she grinned. "I'll see you later!" Ino waved as she ran off. Despite my annoyance, I was glad that my twin was a morning person. She got me places on time.

The day was rather slow, with mostly guys buying their crushes/sweethearts some flowers. The highlight of my day was Shikamaru popping in to talk.

"I'm surprised that you lasted with Naruto and Sasuke on your team," he said, leaning against the counter as I created an arrangement. "You always prefer to be on the downlow."

"I was hiding or walking for most of the test," I shrugged. "It wasn't too bad." Aside from being _really_ up on caffeine. That kind of sucked.

"It sounds troublesome to me," Shikamaru sighed, draping himself over the counter. I reached over and offhandedly pat his head.

"It was pretty annoying," I agreed, going back to the arrangement. I pushed some baby's breath aside and after a moment of thought placed a fully blooming hydrangea in the center. "I guess that my career in psychiatry will have to wait."

"Why do you always say that you'd rather be a psychologist?" he asked after a comfortable silence. He lifted his head from the counter. "As long as I've known you, you wanted to be someone important, someone powerful."

"... I guess I prefer for people to not take me seriously," I said after a couple moments of thinking. I began to place sea lavender and snapdragons intermittently among the baby's breath. "It's easier, not carrying the weight of their expectations. The clan, the village, all of them. I'm not the heir, but they still expect me to excel at everything." I adjusted some flowers. It was still missing something. After a moment of (distracted) thought, I reached over and grabbed a bunch of honey bracelet, shaping the stems to give the arrangement more grace. "It's easier on Ino, too, if I do my own thing. People think that she's better, and I'm not to be bothered with."

"You look down on yourself too much," Shikamaru said. "You're very talented when you apply yourself." He stared at me. "You can profile people and find their triggers after knowing them for less than an hour. You see things that other people don't, and use that to your advantage. I don't know about you, but I'm glad that you're a nice person, because you have the potential to be very scary." He exhaled sharply and pushed away from the counter. "I need to go. Have fun with an empty shop." I gave him a look and contemplated giving him the finger.

The last couple hours went by slowly, making me wish that I brought a book. I had never been more happy to see Ino pop in the doorway.

"Clock out now, sis, because it's time to have some fun!"

"We're getting food, right?" She sighed heavily.

"Yes, _Chōji_. We're getting food. How are you not the size of a cow already, with as much as you eat?"

"It's because I'm special," I teased, hooking arms with her.

"Har har." Joking aside, I really did enjoy these hanging out times with Ino. She helped me relax whenever I was stressing too much about the future, and made sure that I didn't forget to do my assignments. My memory had never been the greatest, in this life or the previous one.

"Stop thinking so much," Ino poked me in the side. "Which one are you going to get?"

"I don't know," I sighed heavily. "I just want to get all of them."

"Choose already!"

"Fine!" I ordered the thing that reminded me of a churro, of all things, and happily took a bite. I sighed in bliss. "Try it," I said, pointing it at her face.

"I'm on a diet," she said.

"Eat it."

"It's way too fattening and I'm on a diet! That's one of the rules of a diet!"

"Rules were made to be broken. Eat it." She reluctantly took a bite, but I could see the bliss on her face as the flavors coated her tongue. "I could probably write poetry about this," I grinned. "You see why?"

"It's not that great," she shrugged, but I could see her eying the rest of my not-churro.

"Don't even think about it," I warned, turning away and attempted to shove the rest of it in my mouth.

"Inoko! Give me some!"

"You said it wasn't that great! You don't deserve the not-churro!"

"What the hell is a churro?!"

"... Inoko? Ino?" We both looked up to see Sakura standing in front of us, her usual cheer missing. "What are you doing here?"

"Having a girls day out," Ino responded promptly, dusting herself off as if nothing happened. "What about you?"

"Oh, nothing, just… my mom wanted me to do some shopping." Sakura looked at her feet, rocking a little.

"Are you ok?" I asked bluntly. "Your eyes are all red." Sakura's eyes filled with tears. She shook her head and started wiping. "Come here." I hugged her tightly. "Ino and I will help you with your shopping, and then we're getting ice cream." Sakura made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob. Saugh? Lob?

Between crying breaks and grocery shopping, we found out that Sakura's Inuzuka sensei had failed her team. As in completely and utterly failed them. He said, and I quote, "The three of you are absolutely hopeless. You have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. You can barely fight, your jutsu are shabby, and your teamwork is nonexistent." I mean, I'm sure it was true, but there were probably nicer ways to say it.

"So that's how we failed," Sakura finished sadly, poking at her strawberry ice cream. "Pretty stupid, huh?"

"Well, I think that he's dead wrong!" Ino said heatedly. She stabbed her chocolate ice cream with her spoon. "He's just a dumb jōnin who can't see that you alone are enough to carry that team."

I took a bite of my own ice cream, which was a mixture of green tea, chocolate, and vanilla. And hot fudge sauce. Because reasons. "Ne, she's got a point."

"Which one of us?"

"Both of you," I said, taking a bite. It was, in hindsight, the wrong thing to say at the moment. Sakura started crying again and Ino glared at me as she comforted her. "That… was not what I meant to say. I apologize, Sakura, I'm an idiot who still doesn't know how to speak properly after twelve years of being alive." She giggled a little at my deadpanned apology. "Now, I vote that we go crash at Chōji's house and eat some more. Ino, if I hear one word about your diet, I will stab your spleen out with this spoon." I pointed my spoon at her for good emphasis. "There are these things called cheat days, and by the time you see Sasuke next, you will have recovered from it." Sakura laughed again, a real one this time. I nudged her gently as Ino paid. "For what it's worth, I took a peek at the Academy scores the other day, and I beat you by a half point. If you had gotten one more point, we would be in very different positions." She smiled at me, and I could feel that we were all good. The guilty feeling in my gut eased a little.

Chōji opened the door when I knocked. I was not surprised by the fact that he had a handful of chips. He glanced at Ino and Sakura behind me, then back at me. "What's up, Inoko?"

"We need food," I announced. "You're the man to hit up when I need lots of junk food."

"Ok," he said slowly. "Why do you need our pantry?"

"Sakura failed her test so we're eating our feelings. We'd go to my house, but because _someone_ refuses to have junk food in the house because she's on a 'diet', we don't have any decent food to eat our feelings with.

"... Ok." He was used to my weird explanations after some seven years of friendship. Shika was too. Sakura was friends with the boys, due to multiple interactions by being friends with me, but wasn't as close as I was. We were all laughing soon enough, and Sakura seemed somewhat happier than she had been earlier.

"I don't know about you, but I had fun today," Ino said as we brushed our teeth. I grunted in response and spat. Now that I wasn't focused on making my friend feel better, I could feel the guilt weighing down on me. "We really ought to do that again!"

"Uh-huh. I'm kind of tired, so I'm going to bed now."

"Ok," she responded happily, bouncing downstairs.

There was a mirror on the vanity in my room. I would always look at it before I left the room or just after I entered. I guess it reminded me of something similar in my last life. Sometimes I saw a glimpse of who I used to be. Sometimes I saw nothing but the girl I was now.

Today I saw a thief. A liar who had somehow cheated her way into the spot someone else deserved.

Flopping onto my bed, I stared at the ceiling. _I haven't even actively done anything yet and I've already ruined someone's life._ My stomach turned. _Sakura was supposed to grow on Team Seven. She was supposed to learn the important lessons, supposed to become Tsunade's apprentice, and become the second coming of the Slug Princess. And I've ruined it._ _I've ruined everything. I should have stayed out of the Academy and let the plot take its course. I should have… I should have…_ My vision blurred. _What have I done?_

* * *

"WHAAAT?!" Naruto's horrified screech snapped me out of my daze. " _This_ is what we're doing?!"

"... I'm confused, what's going on?" I said as Naruto gaped at the scroll Sensei had given him. We'd met up bright and early in from of the mission desk - Sensei only took two hours to get here, so I napped against the wall until Sensei arrived. Then I had fallen into a bit of a daze realizing something of monumental importance that escaped me now. Eh. If it was _that_ important I'll remember it later. "We're taking a mission, right?"

"You really ought to stop spacing out so much," Sensei observed, sticking his nose in his book. "You'll get yourself killed~"

"That's not something you should say like that, Sensei," I deadpanned, blinking slowly. "But seriously, what are we doing?"

"Boys, don't tell her," Sensei grinned as he took the lead. "This is what Inoko gets for spacing out."

I mean, fair, but. "... I hate you all."

It turned out to be weeding an old lady's garden. Which wasn't bad, considering that I had been weeding my own flowers just yesterday. I ended up replanting half of the things the boys uprooted after yelling at them for not knowing the difference between lavender and a weed. Sasuke said something along the lines of "it's all the same anyway, blah blah," and then Naruto demanded a challenge to see who could pull the most weeds. He instantly began pulling up the angel wing, and I was about to pull my hair out. Then they started getting into a physical fight, which I was content to ignore and take care of this honestly lovely garden until they rolled into me.

My following actions were entirely justified, even though Naruto was hiding behind Sensei as I grouchily drank some tea. Sasuke was wisely minding his own business at the other side of the garden, carefully checking each plant to see if it was actually a weed.

"... Have you considered anger management classes?" Sensei asked after several minutes. I glared at him and projected what little killing intent I had figured out. He snickered. "On second thought, you're almost kind of cute doing that. I guess having genin isn't so boring after all."

"... you sounded vaguely like a pedophile there, Sensei."

"Don't say something like that so lightly," he scolded playfully. "You could ruin your teacher's life."

"Challenge accepted," I said dully. "Moving on to something more interesting, like what I'm going to eat later."

"That's very hurtful, Inoko."

"Good. It was supposed to be."

* * *

"I have come to the conclusion that D-ranks were invented to break the heart and souls of genin," I announced to anyone who was listening as I flopped on the couch. Ino made a noise that I assumed to be an agreement from the floor. "I swear, I'm going to murder both of my teammates before the week is out."

"Sounds like you're being productive," Dad said from his chair, looking over some papers that I was fairly sure shouldn't be anywhere near us.

"I signed up for the life of a shinobi," Ino said, her words muffled by the carpet. "Not being a babysitter."

"Picking up trash, walking dogs, painting fences," I agreed.

"Babysitting brats, weeding gardens, grocery shopping," Ino groaned. "I'm exhausted."

"I think I might actually be asleep before twelve tonight."

"Thank god," Dad muttered under his breath.

"I heard that."

"Well, dear," Mother said, carrying in a tray of cups and a teapot, "that's just what genin do at first. When your sensei thinks you're good enough, he'll let you go on low level C-ranks. As you become more experienced, you can go on higher level missions. Just be patient."

"Mother, I love you to bits," Ino said, lifting her head. "But what on earth do you know about early shinobi life? You didn't even meet Dad until you were twenty."

"She was a chūnin before we were born," I pointed out. Ino spun towards me, shocked.

"What?! Really? How did you find out? Mother never told us!"

"You never asked," Mother said in singsong as she poured tea for us.

"I found her chūnin vest a couple years ago when I was going through her closet for chocolate," I explained, accepting my cup of tea.

"..." My family all stared at me.

"I used to store chocolate in there?" I offered. Mother sighed and settled down next to Dad with her tea.

"You are by far my strangest child," Dad said, going back to his papers with an exasperated but fond smile.

"And that's why I'm your favorite," I grinned.


	8. Protea Cynaroides

"You're late!" Naruto screeched. I blearily lifted my head to see a blur that I assumed was Sensei.

"There was an old lady that needed my help with her groceries," Kakashi-sensei started as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Sometimes, if I hadn't slept particularly well the night before, I'd take a quick nap while waiting for him to arrive. Most times though, I went through my stretches and tried to mess with my range a bit. I was making progress, I thought, inch by painful inch.

"Liar!"

"Sensei, when's your birthday?" I asked. He blinked at me, confusion written across his chakra. "I'm getting you a watch, since you clearly have no sense of time." Sasuke made a noise that could be interpreted as a snort of amusement. Excellent.

"Ah, Inoko, your cruelty is too much for the tender heart of your sen-" I threw my shoe at him.

"You pest!" Sensei waited until I had put my shoe back on before speaking again.

"I was thinking that we would and do some more D-ranks today," he said lazily. Naruto and I groaned loudly as Sasuke sighed heavily. D-ranks were… necessary, but awful. I understood why we had to do them, but they were absolute hell. There were so many other things we could be doing instead of painting fences.

"Can't we do some training, Sensei?" Naruto whined. "We've been doing nothing but D-rank missions ever since we became genin."

"True," I nodded. I tried to contain my excitement at the prospect of actually learning something useful. "Every bit of training counts, Sensei." Kakashi watched us with a look that I couldn't quite read.

"Very well," he sighed, snapping his book shut. "Let's go over what you already know. I presume that you all know the Academy kata?"

"Duh," Naruto rolled his eyes. "We wouldn't be here if we didn't, dattebayo."

"Well, that takes care of taijutsu then. Am I right to assume that none of you know genjutsu?" I awkwardly raised my hand after a few moments of silence.

"I can dispel them? Dad said I can't learn to cast them until I graduated though." Genjutsu were fairly easy to sense, not quite as easy to dispel, though knowing is half the battle when it comes to genjutsu.

"Hm, yes, I saw you doing that during your test." He glanced at me, then up at the sky. "Well, Sasuke, do you know any elemental ninjutsu other than the Grand Fireball?" Sasuke didn't say anything, and he looked a little embarrassed.

"... no."

"Well, that's ok, students rarely graduate with an elemental ninjutsu under their belts," Sensei said, scratching his head. "Naruto?"

"N-No," he said, looking away. "I know the kawarimi, henge, and the kage bunshin."

"Don't feel bad, Naruto," I said, patting his shoulder. "Sensei's just getting an idea of where we're at so he knows what to teach us."

"I wouldn't put it like that, but sure. What about you, Inoko?"

I wasn't tempted to throw my shoe at him again. I really wasn't. I'm trying to help you connect here, Sensei. "I know the Academy three, and a couple earth jutsu that a clan member taught me, not to mention my clan jutsu," I said, blinking slowly. It was appearing I knew the most actual jutsu compared to my teammates. Maybe we could put that to use; Naruto could easily become a taijutsu monster with his shadow clones, and Sasuke seemed to be more of a midrange/close quarters fighter. I could provide backup with my own jutsu from long to midrange distances...

"Whoa, really?" Naruto gasped. "How many?"

Oh, this was embarrassing. Naruto and Sasuke were both looking at me with a bit of surprise. I'd always been a bit lazy at the Academy, yeah, but I certainly worked my ass off at home. I nervously scratched the back of my neck and said, "Three. I've been working on them for a few months, and I'm just ok at them." Naruto's eyes became huge.

"Wow! And Sasuke only knows the one!"

"Tch. Like you have room to talk." There was a trace of annoyance in his voice and his ears were turning red. He was giving me a strange look, as if… I was the one to surpass.

Right. He was 'an avenger' who had to be the best. And here I was with more jutsu under my belt than him. Sure, he could destroy me when it came to an actual fight, but if I had the distance advantage and could keep it, I had more than a decent chance of winning. Trap him partially in a headhunter jutsu and while he was trying to get free, zap him with the mind transfer. Though what I'd do after that is less certain. Give him over to Naruto to tie up?

"What did you say?!"

"You don't know any elemental jutsu."

"Yeah! So what? I know the kage bunshin, and Iruka-sensei says that it's a really high level jutsu!" Oh great, they were fighting, all up in each other's face and ready to throw the first punch. Internally groaning, I looked at Sensei, hoping he'd end the fight. He seemed just as unsure as I felt, and ended up pulling out his book again. … Really?

"Both of you shut up!" I shouted, hitting them both upside the head. Naruto was used to me lightly hitting him as a reminder warning thing when he was being particularly loud and/or obnoxious, but Sasuke looked at me like I had just murdered a puppy in front of him. Not sure why, it wasn't exactly the first time I've hit him. "Naruto," I said, turning away from the whipped puppy look, "don't rub things in Sasuke's face. No one likes that, and people with bigger egos hate it even more. I know more jutsu than Sasuke because my cousin is determined to make me worthy of being the daughter of a clan head. I also have a lot more time on my hands because I'm an insomniac." I gave him a flat stare until he squirmed and looked away.

"And you, Sasuke." I spoke with the finality of ruler handing out an execution. Reign in your imagination. I sighed and softened my expression and words a little. "Be kinder to others. Don't rub in their shortcomings, and pull them up instead. That's why we're on a team." I poked him in the cheek. He drew away and swatted at my hand, glaring at me. So that's how it was going to be. Shame that I could out-glare him any day of the week. I clenched my jaw. "So you were at the top of our class. Big freaking whoop. We're not in the Academy anymore. We graduated. This is the real world. So leave behind your petty grudges," I finished, poking him in the chest roughly and staring into his eyes. "And get over yourself."

Both of them had huge eyes as they watched me stretch and turn to Sensei. I internally groaned. I probably should have waited to lecture them until we were all closer, but they were driving me nuts! Maybe it's for the best. "Sensei~" I said sweetly while glaring at him.

"Hmm?" he responded while flipping a page. He's not even looking at me. My eye twitched just before I jumped on his back and put him in a mock choke hold. To my surprise, he actually let me.

"You're the adult here, not me!" I shouted as he tumbled forward. "You should be dealing with the little monsters, not me!"

"Hey!"

"I have more important things to be doing then breaking up their fights all the t- ooh." My hand brushed the silver mop on his head. I paused my rant before gently patting it. "You have really nice hair, Sensei. Really soft."

"... you're going to get me in trouble."

* * *

I closed my eyes and reached out with my senses for our target. He was moving fast, but not too far away from me. Perfect. Touching the mic on my throat, I softly said, "Inoko at Point C."

It only took a moment to hear in my earpiece, "Sasuke at Point B." Several seconds passed before I heard Naruto check in.

"Naruto at Point A, dattebayo," he finally said.

"You're slow, Naruto," Sensei scolded. "Ok, Team Seven. Target has moved!"

"Acknowledged," I replied, jumping from the tree and moving towards the chakra blip. It was still fairly unaware of the people following it. "In pursuit."

"He's over there," Naruto said.

"What's the distance to the target?" Sensei asked, a trace of amusement in his voice.

"Five meters, ready to go, 'ttebayo."

"I am as well," Sasuke put in. I touched my throat mic.

"Six meters, ready to go."

"Ok. Go!" I jumped clear of the bush, seeing Sasuke and Naruto just a little ahead of me. Naruto reached the target first, diving and wrapping his arms around it.

"I got you!" Naruto shouted, thrusting the target of our mission into the air. The cat screeched in rage and began scratching him.

"Does it have a ribbon on it's right ear?" Sensei demanded. "Is it our target Tora?"

"Brown fur with a pink ribbon on the ear," I said, amused. "Fairly sure it's Tora. Naruto, that's not how you deal with a cat. Let me have him."

"Good. Operation "Tora the Lost Pet" complete."

Naruto gratefully handed Tora over, nursing his wounds. "Ne, neko-chan, was the orange monster mean to you?" I cooed, moving Tora into a more comfortable position while holding his paws. Such soft, pretty fur, supple toe beans. Man, I wanted a cat so bad. "You don't want to go back, do you? I know, pretty kitty."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at me and snorted. "Tch. It can't understand you, you know."

"It's the tone that matters, duck boy. Just be gentle with the prettiest kitty and tell him what a baby he is, aren't you?" That got me a strange look. Tora was relaxing in my arms and beginning to purr.

"Isn't there a more exciting mission we can work on?!" Naruto shrieked through the radio. I yelped as Sasuke yanked the earpiece away as fast as he could.

"Have a thought for our hearing!" I shouted, trying to hold onto a now squirmy Tora and pull out my earpiece at the same time. "We can't be ninja if we've gone deaf in one ear!"

"Sorry!" he wailed.

* * *

"Ooh, my cute Tora-chan!" the daimyo's wife, Shijimi-sama, squealed. "I was so worried about you!" Tora yowled and was doing his best to get away from the overly affectionate woman, who was doing her best to squeeze the life out of her cat.

"Poor baby, I'm starting to see why he ran away in the first place," I muttered in a low voice to my team. Sasuke snorted while Naruto giggled a little.

"That cat's getting what he deserves," Naruto whispered back.

"You just don't know how to treat a cat. Granted, neither does she." Sensei nudged us both, then moved to the table where the Hokage and Iruka-sensei were sitting.

"Now then," the Hokage said, puffing on his pipe and looking through some papers. "Team Kakashi's next mission… babysitting Yojyu-sama's son, grocery shopping for an elderly couple, help digging up potatoes at -" With every mission option, our shoulders slumped more. Sure, having some extra pocket money was nice, and the boys used it for groceries and rent, but in exchange, I was being bored out of my mind. At least with this mission, Sensei taught us to use radio transmitters.

"No!" Naruto howled. The Hokage glanced up. "No thanks to all of those! We want a more exciting mission! Choose something el- ack!" I put him in a chokehold and looked down at him with what Ino had dubbed my 'I-will-eat-your-soul-if-you-don't-stop-right-now' smile.

"Naruto. You are speaking to the Hokage," I stressed, "and you will use proper respect." He nodded frantically. I knew that he and the Hokage had a friendship, but Naruto was still technically beneath him. There was still a status quo.

"Idiot!" Iruka shouted as I released him. "You're still just a genin! Everyone starts with D-ranks to gain experience!"

"But we've only been doing dumb missions lately!" Sensei hit him in the head.

"Cut it out, Naruto," he sighed.

"Naruto," Sarutobi said, placing his pipe down. He somehow managed to convey all of the power his title meant and a bit of a grandfatherly vibe in a single word. Not going to lie, I was impressed. Charisma certainly wasn't his dump stat. "It looks like I need to explain to you what missions are, since you clearly weren't paying attention during that particular lesson." My mind drifted off as he lectured on missions, wondering what I should have for lunch. Unlike Naruto, I had paid attention, plus I had the added benefit of growing up in a clan with all of those terms being part of casual conversations. I'm craving ramen, but if I get some, then Ino will lecture me for an hour. Decisions, decisions.

"What kind of ramen should I have today?" Naruto wondered out loud. Even Kakashi-sensei was paying attention to him. "I had tonkotsu ramen yesterday, so I'm going to eat a miso ramen today."

"Miso ramen is good, we should get some later," I agreed.

"Listen!" the Hokage barked. Whoops.

"Sorry," Sensei said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

"You always lecture me like that, old man," Naruto complained. I resisted the strong urge to sigh and looked away at anywhere but my team or the table in front of us. "But I'm not the kid who used to play pranks anymore!" He then proceeded to turn around and sulk like a child. Kakashi's chakra felt a little annoyed and downcast, whereas the Hokage and Iruka felt more amused than anything else. That was good, at least; we probably wouldn't be punished for Naruto's outburst.

"Very well then," Sarutobi said after some thought. "If you insist, then I will allow you to take on a C-ranked mission. It is an escort mission." Wait a minute.

"Really?" Naruto asked, delighted. "Who is it? Who is it?" This is way too familiar for my taste. "The daimyo? A princess?" The door slid open, and I could smell the alcohol from my position. The slight shudder from Sensei told me he smelled clearly it too.

"What?" Tazuna the bridge builder slurred, clearly drunk despite the fact that it wasn't even noon. "They're all kids!" I gagged a little as he chugged a bottle of sake. "Is the smallest one with the stupid face really a ninja? And the girl looks like she's about to fall asleep on her feet." Oh my dear lord, kill me now. Just end me. Send down a bolt of lightning and end my suffering. Why me? Why did I have to be punished with the Plot?

"Haha, who's the small one with the stu-" Naruto laughed, looking around at us, then realizing that he was the shortest of us three. "I'm going to kill you!" he shouted as Sensei held the back of his jacket. To my credit, my internal screaming only came out as a drawn out whimper. Surely there's better people to take this mission? But who would believe me if I told them it was probably going to go mildly FUBAR?

"Don't kill the man you're supposed to escort, idiot," Kakashi-sensei sighed.

"I am the bridge building expert Tazuna," he said. "Once I have returned to my country, I will have all of you protect my life with yours while I complete my bridge." I guess there's no going back now. I can only move forward and maybe derail Plot enough to keep us all safe.

"Sounds troublesome," I drawled. "Let's do it."


	9. Lathyrus Odoratus

"Guess who's got a C-rank~" I sang at dinner that evening. Now that we were officially leaving in the morning, I was actually kind of looking forward to it. Mother's eyes widened as Ino set down her chopsticks. Dad let the tea keep pouring into his cup while he stared at me. It nearly overflowed before he remembered what he was doing and set the pot down.

"No way!" Ino gasped. "Already? Asuma-sensei said he won't let us out until we have more training! I guess you and Sasuke wowed your sensei enough."

"I have Naruto to thank for that, actually," I replied as I got more rice. "He pretty much threw a fit when the Hokage suggested more D-ranks, so we got an escort mission to Wave. I'm leaving in the morning."

"Sounds like him, actually," Ino muttered. "I don't know why the Hokage likes him so much."

"Who knows?" I shrugged, even though I knew darn well. "Whatever reason it is, it's gotten us out of boring missions."

Dad ended up telling us about his first C-rank with Shikaku and Chōza during the rest of dinner. It had been a run of the mill supplies delivery until it wasn't, and many things had happened before ending with them accidentally overthrowing a corrupt local ruler and destroying a drug trafficking ring. I almost doubted the truthfulness of that, except Dad and the others had been referencing it pretty much my entire life and the story answered a _lot_ of questions that I'd had.

We asked Mother about her first C-rank too, but she had smiled and said "Classified" before taking a sip of her tea. Now I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

After the dishes had been done and leftovers put away, I went up to our bedroom and lay down on the bed. I took a deep breath and folded my hands on my stomach. Dad had been teaching us the art of mindwalking since we were eight. It was an essential first step to the mind transfer jutsu, as if one didn't know themselves, they could easily get lost in their target's psyche and be forever trapped in a foreign mind. Mind walking myself was, at this point, child's play for me. I'd been using the skill to occasionally refresh myself on memories that were determined to fade away into vague impressions and feelings. Most of the memories, I was content to let fade away as they caused me more pain than anything else. Certain memories, though, needed to be kept safe. At least for now.

I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, focusing my chakra with a hand seal. I didn't need much, just a push to move my consciousness. Breathe in. Breathe out.

When I opened my eyes again, I was in a corridor, staring at the ceiling. I sat up, shaking myself free of the vines trying to wrap around my body. I surveyed the clearly neglected corridor with disdain. Ceiling tiles had fallen to the ground, exposing wiring and leaking pipes. Dirty puddles were scattered around the floor. Plants grew in through cracks in the walls, the floor, the ceiling. A Hashirama tree was pushing through the ceiling. Music faintly drifted through the hall on a breath of wind.

"Long time no see," I said, pulling myself to my feet with a vine.

The human mind is a very complex thing, and the way a person perceives the world determines how their mindscape is set up. My sister's mind was our clan compound, constantly stuck at an hour after dawn and completely abandoned. Memories drifted on the air as glass bubbles.

My own experiences led to my area, which I affectionately called my mind palace, to be a close replica of my old school. The longer I lived in Konoha, though, the more overgrown it became. Everytime I returned, more of it had decayed and been replaced with plants. If I looked out the window, I could see part of the compound growing from the ground like the plants infecting my mind palace now.

The subconscious was in charge of organizing things, for the most part. The conscious mind could make changes but nothing major. Everything was sectioned off in their own places - old life and new life, and how relevant it was. Miscellaneous memories, such as bus rides to school, faded into dusty papers. Important events - my eighteenth birthday, for example - remained as aged but easy to read files. The older it was, the harder it was to find.

Probably part of the miracle that helped Dad not notice the memories I had buried deep in my mind until further notice.

It was these memories that I was looking for now, deep in the science wing. The name Tazuna was so horribly familiar, and I just _knew_ it was Plot related. It was worth a check in the old basement to make sure that the dread wasn't for the future rather than the C-rank itself.

I jumped over a large root and began counting doors. One of these led to the stairwell, but I never could remember which. Opening a door at a guess, I glanced inside and - "Wrong door!" I screeched and slammed it shut. _That's why that door was covered in vines._ I shuddered and kept going.

Part of a wall had collapsed, allowing a breath of fresh air rather than the damp musty smell that lingered this deep. It stank of loss and forgotten memories.

The actual door to the stairwell was hidden behind a cluster of bamboo growing through a missing tile. Roughly pushing my way through the wood, I forced the rusted door open and shut it behind me. An electric light flickered above me. Leaning against the door, I pushed my bangs from my face and took a deep breath. Trying to hide my previous memories from anyone who entered my mind had the unintended side effect of making it hard for _me_ to find it. Adding that I tended to stay away unless needed because high traffic areas of the mind are like a glaring neon sign that "Something important is here! Come have a look!" Heaving a sigh, I push myself up and jogged down the stairs. The lights were dimmer here. Eventually, I reached the absolute bottom floor and tried to open the door. Nothing. Rusted shut. I pulled harder, willing it to open. With a deep groan that echoed up the stairwell, the door slowly ground open.

Down here was even worse than upstairs. Half the lights weren't even working. Very few plants were down here, and those that were were rotting. Probably not a good sign.

A small box on the wall was blinking silently at me. _There you are._ A scanner and keypad sat behind the door, also kind of rusted. I pressed one hand to the scanner and typed in my first birthday in the keypad.

" _Hi there_ ," Siri said in English. " _What can I do for you?_ "

"Heyo, what's going on here?" I asked a bit sharply. "You've been doing a pretty crappy job taking care of my memories." The subconscious was a strange thing. Mine took the form of Siri. Yes, that Siri.

" _I'm sorry to hear that. How can I help?_ "

"Well, for one, you can fix up this dump," I growled, looking down the hall. Some of the lights half heartedly flickered on. "Also, where are my memories of anime? I need to check the stupid plot. Again."

" _Printing directions now. Please input energy._ "

"Thaaaank you," I said, taking the paper and glancing over it as I pressed my hand to the scanner again. I shoved chakra at it and watched tiles fly up and puddles evaporate around me. "Troublesome," I muttered, sidestepping a vine curling back into the wall. "What are you doing here? Go back upstairs!"

The door to my anime memories was clearer than the other doors, simply because I needed to access them more often. For the most part, I let the doors rust and the handles fall off. But certain ones I kept well protected, and other ones just wouldn't rust shut for whatever reason. Like my death. Room Four-Two-Four was one that was carefully avoided.

Flicking on the lights, I looked around Room One-Eight-Six with a sigh. The walls were lined with filing cabinets, all in alphabetical order. Finding _Naruto_ wasn't as easy as I would like, but all I had to do was look for the cabinet with the least rust on it.

"Hey, Siri, can you put on some music?" I asked as I kicked the filing cabinet to dislodge some of the rust before yanking it open. I began flipping through the musty files to find the one I wanted. " _We Are Not Alone_ or _NOVOCAINE_. Either one works."

" _Which one would you like to hear?_ _"_

"I don't know, flip a coin or something," I said in exasperation, pulling a stack out and dropping them on the table.

" _Now playing_ _ **We Are Number One**_ _by The Liv-_ "

"That's not what I said! Just… turn it all off." Silence echoed through the room. " _Thank you_ ," I muttered. "Now. What's going to happen on this mission?" I placed my hand on the pile of files and closed my eyes, sending a pulse of chakra through the papers. Well, technically, they were already made of chakra, and - _Stop getting distracted!_

Memories flooded me, drowning me in light and sound and impressions of the world around me from the time when they were made. I jerked my hand away after a few seconds, tears filling my eyes. _It's gone,_ I chanted to myself. _You're dead to that world, don't miss it. It's dead and so are you._ Taking a deep breath, I put the files away and removed another stack. There were other things I needed to refresh myself on.

* * *

Inoichi studied his younger child. He was leaning against the doorframe, watching Inoko as she slept. At least, that's what anyone not accustomed to her would think she was doing. He knew his daughter better than that. He could see her eyes moving underneath her eyelids as she mindwalked herself. There was a drying tear track on her face.

He sighed and sat on the bed next to her, reaching out to stroke her hair. When he had first taught them how to mindwalk, he hadn't predicted how hard she would throw herself into the skill. Ino was tenacious, but cautious with what Inoichi taught her. Inoko, on the other hand, was far too curious for her own good. She experimented and pushed the limits. It was always the quiet ones.

Inoko sucked in a deep breath as her eyes fluttered open. She blinked a couple times before focusing on him. "Hey, Daddy," she croaked, smiling a little at him. "What time is it?"

"Almost eleven," he replied, glancing over her. "What were you doing in that pretty head of yours?" Inoko snorted, but she seemed pleased by the compliment.

"Just looking at some old memories," she said before sitting up. "Nothing special." Inoko snuggled up against him. She had always been a cuddler, even as a baby. It had been one of the few ways to get her to stop crying then.

Inoichi wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest, then said in a sing-song voice, "My baby girl is growing up~ One of these days, she's gonna be having little kiddies of her own!"

"Nooo," Inoko complained, mock hitting him on the chest. He laughed and let her go.

"I haven't seen you much lately, my little moonflower," Inoichi said. He pushed her bangs behind her ears. "Are you getting along with your team?"

"I only contemplate murder about a half dozen times a day, but other than that, we're all a big happy family." Inoko swung her legs over the side and stared at the floorboards. "If I'm totally honest, Dad, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I mean, a lot. The boys bicker at every given opportunity, Sensei's always late, Naruto is always crazy loud and obnoxious, and Sasuke is constantly PMSing and being an angsty little crap. And tomorrow, I'm leaving on my first C-rank, which I know for a _fact_ is going to go to hell." She ran a hand over her face. "Just the usual teenage stuff." Inoichi chuckled softly.

"I can't tell you the amount of times I wanted to beat the crap out of Chōza and Shikaku during our time on the same team," he sighed. They'd practically grown up as brothers, but even brothers had their issues. "Soon, you'll all fall into a sort of routine that will just feel right."

"... I find it very hard to imagine Sasuke and Naruto ever getting along. Sensei really doesn't want to be a teacher, and I guess he thinks not doing anything with us at all will fix his problem." Inoichi suppressed a sigh, already trying to figure out what to say to Hatake. Wanting to be a teacher or not, if one had genin under their care, then it was their duty to make sure they could take care of themselves on their own, to _teach_ them. "He doesn't care about us, and the boys would as soon kill each other than work together." Inoko looked up at him with tired eyes. "I don't know what to do."

Inoichi prided himself on being able to read people, and know their thoughts. Even just a few minutes with a prisoner was enough to get them to crack. But Inoko… she was an enigma at times, even without his bias as her father. She rarely opened up to people, always preferring to watch and learn about them. He would have chalked it up to her age when he first noticed it, except Ino was always beaming and cheerful and social, waving happily at everyone who looked at her and generous with her hugs. Inoko hid behind her parents, then Ino when they weren't around. But not because she was timid.

Inoko was anything but timid.

"I would give it time," he said after a minute. "From what I've heard, they've never been the best of friends, and Kakashi is extremely socially awkward on a good day." She giggled a little at his description of her teacher. "I trust you'll find your way, my little moonflower. Now go to bed. You need your rest tomorrow." Inoko pulled a face.

"Probably," she said reluctantly, then hugged him tightly. "Love you, Daddy."

"I love you too."

* * *

"Hello~!" I said as I spied the boys at the gate. "I trust nothing has been set on fire while you boys have been waiting?"

"You're the one with all the explosives!" Naruto shouted as he pointed an accusing finger at me. I gave him a wide eyes and innocent look. It usually made Dad's will waver long enough for me to escape a scolding for whatever stunt I had pulled.

"Me? Use explosives? I would never!" They both gave me a look, almost as if I had tried to blow them all up the other day. "That one time was an accident."

"You were cackling as the trees burned behind you," Sasuke deadpanned.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It is!" Naruto screeched. "My eyebrows got singed!"

"Yare yare, Naruto, I'm afraid I didn't notice." Naruto leaped at me in rage, but Sensei chose that second to show up and grab his collar.

"Naruto, you can't attack your teammates outside of a training ground," he scolded. Tazuna stood behind him - _wait, is he already drinking? What the crap, dude?_ \- his pack clearly saying that he was ready to go. My throat tightened. _Here we go. The event horizon of the Plot._ I shuffled my pack around a bit and ducked my head to keep the others from noticing the look on my face.

The show had never really made it clear how long the Wave arc took, making it seem like it took the course of a week or two. However, Sensei was telling us that it would take about a week to get there, which conversely meant that it would take a few days to come back at ninja speed. Tazuna also had to finish the bridge, which would take anywhere from a couple weeks to a month or two.

We were going to be away from home for a long time.

Naruto took a few steps forward, turned around, and shouted, "Yeah! All right!" It jerked me out of my thoughts, making me focus on the fact that _I'm in the field now, can't get distracted like that again._ Sensei was right, zoning out would get me killed.

"Someone's excited," I observed, amusement creeping into my tone.

"This is the first time I've ever left the village!" he explained excitedly, looking around. I'd left the village a few times before with Shikaku when he had to go and check on the Nara farms and he decided to bring Shika, Chōji, Ino, and me. A few other times I had gone with Dad on trips to Yamanaka greenhouses, but those were far rarer journeys.

"Am I really safe with this twerp?" Tazuna asked Sensei. I snickered. Naruto stopped laughing.

"It's ok," Sensei waved away the question. "I'm a jōnin, no need to worry." Naruto twitched.

"Naruto, chill," I drawled, walking up to him and poking him in the nose. "Just prove him wrong later, ok?" He blinked in surprise before grinning.

"Yeah! I'll totally show you my awesomeness later, old man!" Kakashi sighed. The general atmosphere was 'crisis averted'. It wouldn't do to have Naruto trying to attack the client twice in as many days.

We walked in silence for a couple hours. I was fine with the quiet; it was useful for sorting out the information I had gotten from the stroll in my mind palace last night. It wasn't as much as I'd have liked. Even with the mind walking, memories faded over time. Revisiting them kept somewhat fresh, but I hadn't learned the clan jutsu until I was eight, which meant eight years of fading memories. They were sketchy at best. Thankfully, no one really noticed my slightly dazed expression. Once I had finished - and feeling kind of sick - I moved my attention to the chakra signature that had been following us since we left the gates. Like, since we were right next to the gates. _One, maybe two people sticking close together._ Didn't I remember something about two people? High enough stealth to avoid patrols. Probably something I should mention to Dad.

A hand waved in front of my face rapidly. "Inoko-chaaan," Naruto whined. "I asked you something." _Whoops._

"Sorry about that," I said, grinning sheepishly. "I got distracted."

"I noticed," he huffed. "I asked you why you always say you want to be a psychologist." _Because it was what I was studying in a previous life right up to when I died._

"It's more of a joke now, than anything else," I admitted. "I've always been interested in psychology, and it was my backup plan if I flunked out as a shinobi. But I'm glad I'm here. It's way more interesting than civilian life." I gave him a thin smile before focusing my attention on the chakra signatures around us.

They didn't do anything for several days, merely watching us from a distance. Sensei either hadn't noticed them - less likely - or deemed them not a threat - much more likely - but I was twitchy and tense as they hovered towards the edge of my sensing range. _I wish I had the same range from when I was younger._ I'd lost a lot of range and sensitivity when I was seven, and trying to regain it was a long and hard fought battle that I was still fighting.

"Ne, Inoko, why so twitchy?" Sensei drawled as I jumped upon hearing a twig snap nearby. Deer, three of them, one fawn. Barely aware of us. "We're on a C-rank, and the Land of Waves doesn't have any shinobi."

"That's not why I'm nervous," I muttered, glaring in the general direction of the chakra signatures. Then, to throw off any suspicion, I added, "I just have the most awful feeling that Naruto placed a trap somewhere up ahead with a shadow clone." Sensei laughed.

"Hey! That's… a really good idea!" Naruto grinned deviously. Sasuke gave me a look that said nothing more than 'why do you do this'. I shrugged.

We took a break for lunch, more for Tazuna's benefit than anything else. Our tagalongs moved ahead of us, and I stiffened. "Naruto, put that slug back where it came from, or so help me, I will beat the everloving daylights out of you," I warned. Naruto pouted before putting the slug down. I mouthed 'you owe me' at Sasuke. He huffed and looked away.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat as I spotted the puddle up ahead. This was it. The test of our abilities. Knowing that Sensei would step in didn't ease the tension in my body.

" _Relax_ , Inoko," Sensei said. I could hear the frown in his voice. "You're going to shorten your lifespan."

"Like you care," I snorted, but tried to let some of the tension out of my body. It was hard with the two hostile chakra signatures in front of me. Honestly, were they even _trying_?

"I'm wounded, Inoko."

My heartbeat thundered in my ears. It was so close and practically reeking of chakra. Was I the only one who noticed it?

 _Ba-bum._ Naruto passed it. _Ba-bum._ Sensei drifted behind us. _Ba-bum._ Sasuke passed it. _Ba-bum._ Tazuna passed it. _Ba-bum._ I could feel Sensei's chakra tense behind me. _Ba-bum._ I passed the puddle. _Ba-bum._ Sensei walked past it like nothing was wrong. _Ba-bum._ Chakra shuddered in the puddle and it felt _wrong. Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum._

They sprung from the puddle like a pair of frogs and threw their chain forward. I spun around probably faster than I should have for it to have been a surprise just in time to see them wrap the chain around Sensei.

"One," they chorused, and pulled on each side of the chain. I felt Sensei's kawarimi, but all the same, the sight of him getting ripped apart, even if it was just a henged log… I felt sick. The genjutsu wrapping its tendrils around me bugged me too, but I had to pretend it was real in order to trick the others. Area of effect genjutsu sucked like that.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted, horror written across his face. The two ninja shunshined behind him and he froze. _No._ Naruto wouldn't think of a kawarimi. Time seemed to slow as I put my hands in the familiar seal of the Mind Transfer jutsu. Then I threw myself at one of them.

Not daring to pause to settle into the new body, I dug my heels into the ground and threw myself backwards, abruptly throwing off the other one.

"Meizu, what the f-" he started, but I silenced him with fist to the face. I spared a glance for my body, and - _seriously boys, it was just lying in the road?!_ How rude.

The other ninja disengaged his side of the chain and lashed out at me. _Good. If he's focused on his 'traitorous' teammate, he'll leave the others alone._ Sasuke had snapped out of his shock and jumped forward, pulling out a kunai and shuriken.

And then the idiot nailed me to a tree.

Swearing under my breath, I released the jutsu, and blinked up at the sky. _Fricken -!_

"Sasuke! I had it under control," I snapped as I rolled to my feet and took a defensive position in front of Tazuna.

"You were passed out on the ground," he said, blinking.

"I was _not_ ," I snarled, but Meizu was charging me and oh god those claws looked nasty and _Sasuke you freaking idiot get out of the way_ \- And then Sensei clotheslined him and put him in a choke hold. The other one was already unconscious.

It wasn't until a few seconds had passed that I realized I was shaking with tension. "Well, Sensei," I said shakily, slowly lowering my kunai. "You sure took your time."


	10. Ruta Graveolens

"Well, Sensei," I said shakily, slowly lowering my kunai. "You sure took your time."

"Sorry about that," he said cheerfully. "A black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way around." A laugh bubbled in my throat, strangled by the remaining adrenaline.

"Sensei, I swear I'm going to stab you one of these days," I said instead before I turned to Naruto. Wasn't there something about him getting injured at this point? Regardless, he did in fact have a rather deep looking cut. "Naruto. You're hurt."

I took out the small first aid kit from my pouch and began to unpack it. _They had Kiri headbands. Kiri nin tend to use contact poisons._ "What are you doing?" Naruto demanded when I pulled out a kunai.

"You've probably been poisoned," I explained, continuing my rough treatment. "I need to make sure that you get it out of your system, but if I let you do it you'll probably bleed out or something." He winced as I pulled the bandages a little harder than necessary. "Naruto. Try not to freeze up next time. You were lucky that Kakashi-sensei was here." I stared him in the eye. "Freezing in the field will get you and your teammates killed. Remember that."

Brushing my knees off, I turned around to where Sensei had tied the two nin to a tree. Now that adrenaline wasn't pumping through me, I could actually think beyond 'survive' and 'protect Tazuna'.

"They're Kiri nin, likely nuke-nin," I surmised, pushing my bangs behind my ear as I watched them. They were still both unconscious. "I'd rate them a three out of five for intelligence, though taking out the jōnin first is common sense. Honestly, a puddle in the middle of the road when it hasn't rained for well over a week?" I blinked slowly and frowned. "There are five possible targets. We can safely outrule the boys, as Naruto is a nobody that's never left the village before, and Sasuke's clan name alone protects him from most thugs." The boys shifted uncomfortably near me. "I'm fairly safe to outrule as well, being the daughter of a clan head. Clan and village retaliation and all that jazz. That leaves Sensei and the client. However, if they were just after Sensei, they would have left after 'killing' him. Witnesses would have been best to spread that they killed him, so they would have left us alone. Not to mentioned that once Sensei was out of the picture, they went straight for our client. Which begs the question, Tazuna-san" - the old man swallowed nervously and clenched the neck of his bottle tighter, sweat running down his face - "why didn't you tell us that you have shinobi after us? You hardly could have not known."

"Good analysis, Inoko," Sensei said, resting his hand on my head. "Well, Tazuna-san? We're waiting." He shifted his weight from side to side, clearly nervous before coming clean. Knowing what he was going to say helped me keep a neutral face as he told us of what Gato had done to the people of Wave.

"Missions with shinobi contact are B-rank or higher," I mused after he had finished. "You couldn't afford anything higher than a C-rank, so you lied."

"Well, protocol says that we go back to the village," Kakashi sighed. "Naruto probably needs to see a doctor for his hand anyway."

"What?! No, I'm fine, Inoko fixed me all up!" I blinked.

"Naruto, my dude, I'm not even on par with a civilian doctor. I can stitch and bandage wounds, and deal with about a half dozen poisons, but that's it. I mean, I could probably figure out how to set bones…" I rubbed my chin, thinking. I really needed to get better at medical stu - wait a minute. "That is besides the point, Naruto!"

"Whatever! But Sensei, I'm fine, and those people really need help! We can't just leave them! We accepted this mission! We can't quit halfway through!"

I sighed heavily in the silence that followed. "My parents are going to kill me," I muttered before saying in a louder voice, "Well, I'm game for it if you guys are. We beat these idiots just fine, so whatever we come up against next won't be a pro-" Wait a minute. I frowned deeply as Sensei gave in and Naruto cheered. Neither seemed to notice me cutting myself off mid word.

A memory popped into my head of a really big sword, Sensei trapped in a giant bubble, and a pale mask.

…. _Shit._

* * *

"So you didn't actually pass out," Naruto said, clearly thinking hard.

"No. Believe it or not, I'm not a tender damsel in distress. Which brings me to my second point: If you see me collapse in the middle of a fight, get my body out of the freaking way!" I glared at them as we kept walking. Sensei had… taken care of the Demon Brothers while the rest of us went up ahead. I tried not to think about it and instead focused on reaming the boys out.

"This also means that one of you needs to look before you attack, _Sasuke_." He glared at me. "I know I explained my jutsu to you, didn't I?" I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Please don't tell me you both forgot." Silence greeted me. I very carefully took a deep breath. "... I swear I'm going to stab you both before this mission is over."

We took a small boat to Wave, hiding in the heavy fog. Tazuna explained the situation in more detail to kill time. And then proceeded to guilt us into continuing as his bodyguards by sighing over how his daughter and grandson would grieve and blame Konoha for his death. _Asshole_ , I thought as I gave him a flat stare, annoyed.

"Be quiet!" the rower hissed. "We're almost there." We went under a low arch on a bridge, and the fog cleared up on the other side. Wave was beautiful, I realized. Trees poked out of the water; mangroves, maybe red ones? My marine biology course had been so long ago, and I had rushed through it.

The town around us was in disrepair, practically falling apart, and that was just what I could see from the boat. It was far worse than my mind palace. We disembarked from the boat. I wobbled a bit - slight sea legs, yay - but quickly regained my balance. _I don't like this._

We left the small town and began our trip to Tazuna's house. _It's going to happen soon. They're going to come soon and I won't be able to do anything._

We had been walking for about an hour before my blood ran cold. _Two chakra signatures in the trees._ Sensei tensed near me. Naruto had nearly killed a rabbit while I was phasing out. _Not good not good not good we're going to die._

"Everyone get down!" Sensei shouted. I grabbed the front of Tazuna's shirt and yanked as I fell. I felt the whoosh of air as something large and heavy passed over us. A large blade embedded itself in a tree. I swallowed nervously. _That's a big sword._

A man body flickered to the handle of the blade, and all I could think was _Wouldn't it be easier to balance on the blade?_

He was shirtless, had his hitai-ate on the side of his head, was wearing the most awful leg and arm warmers I had ever seen - are you hot or are you cold, make up your mind - not to mention they clashed horribly with his pants. He was giving us a dark glare. Oh, and did I point out he was standing on a sword longer than I was tall? What the crap.

Ignoring the whole 'shouldn't be able to lift that much metal with both arms let alone one' issue, I slowly got to my feet. Dad usually left Bingo books around the house for us to read. Ino was never that interested in them, but I had read them multiple times, usually when I woke up from nightmares of the future. Momochi Zabuza. Momo… chi. So wasn't this just peachy?

A hysterical laugh bubbled in my throat. I was facing a man who had killed more people than I could count, and I was laughing at his slightly ridiculous family name.

Ino was right. I had issues.

Naruto tensed beside me. _No._ "Don't even think about it, Naruto," I growled. "He's an A-rank jōnin. He'd crush you in a heartbeat."

"Little girl's done her research," Zabuza said mockingly. I swallowed. My instinct was to make a snarky remark, but my throat was tight and dry. _Missing nin. Highly dangerous. Kill on sight._ That's what his Bingo book page had said. But the question was, could we?

I pulled my mind back to the present as Kakashi-sensei and Zabuza did the required pre-battle banter.

"Momochi Zabuza. What a surprise."

"Sharingan no Kakashi. I'd say I was here for you, but I'm really not."

"Shame. I have quite a few people out for my head."

"Now, if you don't mind, I'll have you hand over the old man," Zabuza said.

"I'm afraid that's not an option," Sensei replied, his posture relaxed but his chakra tight and ready to spring. He slowly lifted his headband off his face. _This is it, the apocalypse._ I shook off old memories of song lyrics and focused. "Guys, get in Manji battle formation. Protect Tazuna and don't get involved."

My body moved with the ease of much practice, and I pulled out a kunai. Like a kunai would be much use against the oversized butter knife that was the Kubikiribōchō. I forced my breathing to be steady even as my heart slammed in my ears. It would be ok. We'd practiced this before. Sensei would protect us. We were going to be fine.

"Huh. I never expected to see the legendary Sharingan so early," Zabuza mused. "This is an honor."

"Everyone's been saying Sharingan," Naruto groused. "What is it?!"

"It's the doujutsu and kekkei genkai of the Uchiha clan," I explained quietly. "It can be used to copy jutsu. Sensei is known for being the only non-Uchiha with one, since the Uchiha guarded their eyes almost as fiercely as the Hyūga."

"It's not the only power of the Sharingan," Sasuke muttered grimly.

"Well said," Zabuza replied with amusement. I flinched. "You really have done your research." A heavy fog filled with chakra began to rise. "When I was in Kiri's Anbu, we had a Bingo book page on you. There was something else in the book about the man who has copied one thousand jutsu." _And he hasn't taught us any of them. Rude._ "Kakashi, the Copy Ninja." _Copy that, copycat._ "But let's end the chit chat here," he continued, crouching. "I need to kill that old man sooner rather than later. But it appears I need to kill you first, Kakashi."

He grabbed his sword and landed on the water. It was back in its sheath, mist crawling out of the water to smother us in chakra as he made a hand sign with one hand and the other pointed up.

"Hidden Mist Jutsu," Zabuza said. _That can't be good._ I was right; the chakra in the fog was already wreaking havoc with my sensing abilities.

"Sensei," I said tersely after he vanished.

"He'll probably come after me first," Sensei said, as if that was supposed to make me feel better. It didn't.

"I'm going to assume that he's silent but deadly, seeing how he said he was in Anbu," I guessed. I did not like this at all. It was tense and stressful and I could barely sense Sensei a few feet away from me.

"He is a master of the silent killing technique," Sensei absently agreed.

"The name seems self explanatory," I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "Dead before you notice it."

"I haven't completely mastered my Sharingan, so stay sharp, guys." Oh, _great_.

"Like a kunai," I muttered. The mist grew thicker, and soon enough I couldn't see Sensei anymore.

"Eight spots," rasped out of the mist. "Larynx, lungs, spine, liver, jugular, subclavian veins, kidneys, and the heart." He listed them as casually as Mother would read a grocery list. "Now then. Which spot would be the best?" Killing intent began to leak through the air, thick and burning. I felt like I was choking. _No. No. Not again! Not again oh god help me I'm so small why why why why help please I can't breathe_ \- I struggled to pull air into my lungs.

"Sasuke." I blinked at the sudden sound. "Don't worry. I will protect you three with my life. I will _not_ allow my comrades to be killed." He partially turned and gave us an eye smile. I could feel the positive intent in the air. It was an odd thing, practically the opposite of killing intent. As dumb as the name was, it was definitely useful.

"I wonder about that," Zabuza casually said from behind me. _No._ I had felt the flicker of chakra too late. I wasn't afraid to die. I had done it before. But Tazuna and Naruto and Sasuke; I couldn't just- I couldn't- "It's over."


	11. Rosmarinus Officinalis

"It's over."

 _Not again,_ I thought numbly, turning as fast as I could even though I knew it was going to be too late. There was a blur of white and a splash of water as Sensei stabbed the water clone and popped it. Zabuza instantly retaliated by cutting him in half, but Sensei exploded into water as well.

… _. What?_

I could still sense Sensei lurking around in the mist, honing in on… wait, was that the real Zabuza? There were two of them-

Sensei was about to kill the closest Zabuza, but the second one grabbed him and threw him at the lake. Zabuza was there in a heartbeat, hands forming seals. Water rose up and closed around Sensei.

I had read a few of Konoha's Bingo books in the past, almost absently noting Kakashi's abilities. Been there, read the wiki page. But seeing Kakashi being captured this easily… even knowing it was going to happen didn't ease the surprise I felt.

 _It shouldn't have been this easy._ On the other hand, though…

Zabuza couldn't have given me a better target if he tried. He was just… standing there. No attempt to defend himself. This was child's play.

"Guys, get out of here," Kakashi said with deceptive calm. "He's no match for you. Take Tazuna-san and run."

"All due respect, Sensei," I replied, a plan forming in my mind, "you'll have a snowball's chance in hell if we leave you. I don't know about the boys, but breaking in a new sensei is just going to be a pain." In a lower voice, I added, "Naruto, can you and Sasuke tag team the water clone?"

"What about Sensei and the real one?" Sasuke asked.

"I'll take care of it," I said with a vague wave before grinning maniacally at them. "Just keep the clone off my back."

Jumping into the trees and crushing my chakra down, I found a somewhat safe spot for my body that was fairly hidden with a good line of sight. I took a deep breath, nervous. This was the first time I was facing an opponent this much stronger than me, not to mention one that actually wanted me dead. _Ok. Remember what Dad said. 'The more chakra the target has, the shorter amount of time you have in the body.' But all I really need to do is pull out his arm and Sensei can take care of the rest._

 _Probably._

I settled in, made the seal, and threw myself out of my body.

* * *

Kakashi knew he screwed up. He screwed up big time. He should have been more serious from the get go instead of being cocky about it. His genin were in horrible danger, and Inoko had disappeared to who knows where. The water filled with chakra around him was wreaking havoc with his senses, but Kakashi had felt Inoko's chakra _vanish_.

 _Be alive,_ he thought. _If Zabuza's hidden a clone in the trees and it got her…_ He was going to violently kill Zabuza before Inoichi violently killed him. There was a reason the man was partnered with Ibiki in leading T &I.

Zabuza's arm jerked out of the orb before he fell through the water. _What._

The Demon of the Hidden Mist surfaced with a wild amusement dancing in his eyes. "Hello, Sensei!" he said cheerfully. "Did you miss me?"

"What the f-" he started, but then the former Swordsman began _singing._

"Swing, swing, swing my sword, sword, whenever I get bored, bored, I can swing my sword, sword, I can swing my sword, sword!" He tossed the giant sword aside and opened his arms. "Well? I'm waiting."

Everyone, even the water clone, stared at Zabuza. Kakashi was starting to understand exactly what happened.

 _Inoko had the boys distract Zabuza and the clone while she found a safe spot to store her body, then she used her clan's jutsu on him. Smart._

"Sensei, we are literally running out of time as we speak. I got rid of the sword. I freed you. _Deal with the immediate pro-_ " She choked, Zabuza's face freezing as blood began to trickle out of the corner of his mouth.

Zabuza blinked before refocusing his eyes and glaring at Kakashi. He yanked out a kunai and lunged at Kakashi again. Inoko had somehow lost control, and gods above he hoped that she was alright. He had to protect his students, and by the gods he would do anything to make sure they were safe.

In the end, his Sharingan brought the fight to a close. Kakashi was simply faster than him. Combined with whatever wound he had gotten while Inoko was in control, the missing nin couldn't keep up. Ripping his throat out with a kunai brought him a bit too much pleasure.

After checking to make sure he was actually dead, he pulled down his headband and began reaching out with his senses for Inoko.

 _Chakra's too low,_ he thought grimly. "Naruto, Sasuke, where's Inoko?"

Naruto very pointedly did not look at the bloody water as he glanced from his sensei and other teammate. "She went into the trees and did her jutsu thing to Zabuza and freed you," he said hesitantly. "Oi, teme, where's Inoko?" Sasuke merely shrugged, though appeared worried.

Kakashi took stock of his chakra levels - he had maybe five minutes before he crashed like a rock - and sighed. "Boys, stay with Tazuna-san. I'm going to look for Inoko."

Inoko left a rather strong scent trail of old books and flowers, but just inside the treeline, Kakashi could smell the coppery tang of blood. _No._

There was no corpse. Merely a small puddle of blood on a tree branch and a glaring lack of one of his students.

Kakashi placed a hand on the trunk, partially because he was dizzy from chakra loss. _What have I done?_

* * *

Naruto was furious with himself. He should have sent a clone with Inoko. He should have realized what she was going to do and done something about it! She had asked them just that day to take care of her body when she was doing her jutsu and he _failed_.

He wondered if similar thoughts were going through Sasuke's head, if he even noticed Inoko's absence at all. Kakashi-sensei had passed out from chakra exhaustion after informing them that an unknown hostile had taken advantage of Inoko's defenceless state and wounded and captured her.

Now they were impatiently waiting at Tazuna's house for Kakashi to wake up. It was awful.

"Dobe," Sasuke said at last. Naruto bit his tongue against his retort and merely glared at him. "We ought to at least be thinking of plans to find and rescue Inoko. Get a head start on it."

"Why bother? She's gonna die anyway." Both heads snapped towards Tazuna's young grandson Inari, glowering at the boy. He was unfazed. "Anyone who goes up against Gato will die, and if he gets you, he's not going to let you get away."

"Inoko's tough!" Naruto snarled. "It's gonna take more than some business punk dude to take her down! She's really smart too! Heck, she'll probably have already escaped by the time we're there!"

Inari snorted and walked away. _Brat,_ he thought with annoyance. _We'll be able to find Inoko… right?_

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke was not in a good mood. He was hardly ever in a good mood, but right now he was in a very not good mood.

Inoko had been captured by an unknown. She was either dead or being held hostage. Either way, they couldn't do anything until Kakashi woke up.

 _I'm still too weak,_ he growled. _I didn't even notice there was an enemy. And Inoko is paying the price for my weakness._

* * *

It had been a week since he lost his family, and he still couldn't stand the whispers and stares. It was his first day back at the Academy after… and everyone kept looking at him. Normally he thrived off the attention that he wished came from his father, but today it was suffocating.

Sasuke's glare was enough to drive them back. Most of them anyway. One of the Yamanaka twins - Inoko, maybe? Why did they have such similar names? - was being incredibly stubborn in her attempts to talk to him. The other one, the one that was always sleeping, eating, being sarcastic, or watching people with a slightly terrifying look in her eyes, appeared to sense that he needed some space and time to process. She was gently pulling on her twin's shirt, trying to get her to come away. _When is Iruka-sensei going to come back?_

"Sasuke-kun, are you sure you're ok?" Ino(ko) asked. Her sister gave up and wandered over to Chōji to snag a chip from his bag.

"I'm fine," he snarled.

"I-I'm sorry, I just wanted to -"

"What? You wanted to what?" Sasuke snapped. "Just go away and leave me alone." He roughly shoved her out of his way and began to stalk to a different part of the yard.

The other twin was in his face glaring murderously at him. "Don't touch my sister," she warned.

Sasuke sneered at her. "Or what? You'll hit me? Ooh, I'm so scared. You probably couldn't hit if your li-" A second later he was blinking up at the sky, jaw throbbing. _Did she just…?_

"Inoko, you pig!" one of the girls shouted. "Don't hit Sasuke-kun!"

The Yamanaka ignored them and crouched in front of him with a dangerous look in her eyes. "Touch Ino again, Uchiha, and I'll make you wish your brother finished the job," she hissed before turning around. He gaped at her back for a moment. Red consumed his vision.

She did _not_ just say that.

Sasuke tackled her from behind, hatred pumping through his body. "Shut up!" he screamed at her, hitting her head as hard as he could. "You don't know what it was _like_! Shut up!" Inoko flipped him over onto his back, a wild look in her eyes. They both ignored the cries for them to stop fighting, mostly from Ino.

"Leave - my - sister- alone!" she panted, hitting him with each word. He grabbed her swinging braid and pulled as hard as he could, but she didn't even grimace at the pain. Inoko kneed him in the gut, then punched him as he reflexively bent over. Sasuke punched her in the groin, pleased by her surprised yelp.

He grabbed her by the front of her shirt and tossed her over his shoulder, settling into a different stance. Her eyes narrowed as she realized he was tossing the little Academy taijutsu they knew out the window. Inoko's hands settled into an unfamiliar seal that she extended in his direction. _Ninjutsu, huh? I can match you for that._

Then Sasuke couldn't move. It wasn't that he didn't want to; he physically could not move. Inoko also appeared to be struggling.

"Shadow possession complete," Shikamaru drawled. His lazy tone was offset by his tense posture and a tiny bead of sweat rolling down his face.

"Stay out of this, Shika," Inoko spat, not taking her eyes off Sasuke.

"What is going on?!" Iruka shouted as he stormed outside, Naruto trailing him uncertainly. He took in the scene with a glance - Sasuke prepared to use more dangerous taijutsu, Inoko holding a Yamanaka hand seal, and Shikamaru holding them both in place with his clan's jutsu. "Detention, the three of you. I've told you all before, no unsupervised jutsu at the Academy!" Shikamaru groaned and let his jutsu go.

"Don't drag Shika into this," Inoko sighed as she rubbed her face. "He was trying to stop us. Please, Sensei." Iruka raised an eyebrow.

"Fine. Inoko, Sasuke, I'll be seeing you after class." Inoko shot him a dirty look before turning away and walking into the classroom. _Brat._

* * *

"Sasuke." He ignored Inoko and continued scrubbing the blackboard. "Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke."

"What?" he finally bit out, glaring at her. He had gotten detention because of her, ruining his perfect record. Not that it mattered anymore. Who was going to care?

She had the courtesy to look… not embarrassed, no. Regretful would be a better word. "I'm sorry for saying that. About your brother. That wasn't cool. So sorry about that." Inoko turned back to the pencils she was sharpening. Sasuke watched her for a moment before returning to scrubbing.

"Sorry for shoving your sister," he muttered. If he had been watching, he would have seen the ghost of a smile flicker across her face.

"Truce?" she asked without looking at him.

"Stay away from me," he warned. "You're nothing but a pest."

"Fair enough. But don't you like me, Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke recoiled from her, horrified. _Not her too!_ Inoko batted her eyelashes at him a couple times before cackling. "Yeah, don't worry, the chances of that happening are…" Inoko stare blankly into space for a moment. "Meh, who knows, I suck at probability. But it's not happening."

"Wouldn't want to marry a pig girl like you anyway," he muttered.

* * *

They hadn't been friends after that. Far from it. It took him a long time to forgive that comment, but being put on the same team forced him to work with her. If he was entirely honest with himself, he was starting to become fond of her deadpanned sarcasm and blank stares. It was almost endearing.

"Oi, teme! Kakashi-sensei's awake!" Naruto shouted.

It was time to plan.


	12. Rosa Rubiginosa

The first thing I was aware of was the sharp pain in my right side. I hissed slowly through my teeth as I opened my eyes. I was in a wide stone hideout of some sort. Not underground; I could clearly hear the wind rustling in nearby trees.

I had been in Zabuza's body, hadn't I? I was helping Sensei fight him when I had been thrown back into my own body. Then pain and a white mask hovering over me before darkness.

"You're awake," a feminine voice said softly. My gaze snapped over to the hunter nin sitting in the corner. Speak of the devil. "Don't bother struggling; you've been thoroughly secured."

We both sat there for a moment, sizing each other up. "I'm thirsty," I said after a moment.

"You killed Zabuza-sama," he said flatly, ignoring me.

"I didn't lay a hand on him."

"You and I both know that you don't have to touch someone to kill them, _Yamanaka-san_."

"I didn't kill him _._ I merely briefly controlled him to free my teammate, _Haku_." He pulled back in surprise for a second before removing his mask.

Haku was incredibly pretty for a boy, but his good looks were marred by the haunted and grief ridden look on his face. I almost felt bad for him, remembering how devoted he had been to Zabuza. Almost.

"How do you know that name?" he asked quietly.

"I have a habit of knowing things I shouldn't," I replied flatly.

"You're an odd girl."

"So I've been told."

We made a weird pair, one of us free and the other tied to a chair, staring into each other's eyes. "Why am I here?" I asked after a second to break the silence. We had been instructed at the Academy that in the event of being captured by the enemy to find out everything we could without endangering our lives. Information was useless if you weren't alive to tell it to someone. "I presume I'm your hostage?"

"You would be correct."

We sat in silence for several seconds. I could only guess as to what Haku was thinking, but my own thoughts were occupied by escape plans and the like. Why didn't he just kill me? Why take me hostage? Information? Eventually I decided to fall back on my upbringing.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. Haku barely glanced at me. "For what happened to Zabuza."

Haku frowned. "Why do you apologize?"

"Because we're the same." Taking in his surprised look, I pushed on, "Zabuza was your precious person. You would have died for him, and even now you're carrying on the mission he chose, correct? I…"

I had a choice here. Zabuza had died, meaning that certain things were fixed in time. This in turn meant that Haku would likely die as well, probably by Sensei's hand. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

"I see things. In my sleep. Things that haven't yet happened," I said slowly, careful of what I revealed. Hopefully, if he told someone and it became public, it would be disregarded as mad ramblings. "The things I see... the _future_ I see, isn't a good one. I'm trying to change it. One of the things I see is my father."

Haku made a noncommittal noise.

Well, he was listening at least. That was something, right? I took a steadying breath and continued. "So, I also have an important person I am trying to protect. Many important people, actually. Zabuza was one of them. Unfortunately, not everything can be changed."

"You still could have tried," Haku said in a low voice.

"Maybe. But some people mean more to me than others." His head snapped up, anger in his eyes. "Would you have done any differently in my place?" I asked. The anger faded from his eyes as he visibly lost steam.

I glanced down at my aching side. Judging by the state of the congealed blood, Haku had stopped the bleeding, but it still hurt like a mother.

Slowly taking a deep breath and focusing on the sharp stab of pain, I began to work through what I knew of Haku. I couldn't afford to go unconscious to drop into my mindscape to revive my memories, so this would have to do. He was loyal to Zabuza to the point of jumping in front of a Chidori. He had intimate knowledge of herbs and healing techniques. He -

"Prove it."

I opened my eyes in surprise. His face was a calm mask devoid of emotion, but I could sense the turmoil in him.

"Prove it?" I asked, trying to buy time.

"Prove to me that you do indeed… see things."

"Well, if you untie my hands -"

Haku laughed harshly. "Don't take me for an idiot. I know that Yamanaka need their hands for their jutsu."

Well, there went my plan of disabling his mind and untying myself.

"Did you really think that I would let you go after telling me that you had mystical visions of the future?" he asked incredulously. "I was an idiot for thinking that you might actually be telling the tr-"

"You were so proud of yourself that day," I said in a low voice, not looking at him. He froze. "Finding out that you had those powers. You went to show your mother, but she was so angry for some reason."

"Impossible," he whispered, recoiling from me. I met his eyes as I continued.

"She hit you, didn't she? You didn't understand why when she told you to never show those powers."

"Stop it."

"But someone already saw you -"

"Stop it!"

"- and they came, didn't they?"

"Shut up!"

I kept pushing, kept staring at him with a single minded intensity as the temperature dropped.

"Your father was the one who struck the final blow -"

"Shut up shut up shut _up!_ " he screamed, frost creeping up my skin. We sat in silence for several seconds as he panted and I inspected the ice on my skin. While it felt great against the burn of my wound, I had to admit that I might have pushed him a little far.

"Do you believe me now?"

Haku stared at me for a couple seconds more before vanishing.

Well.

I guess it was a bit of a bomb to drop.

* * *

Gato was pleasantly surprised when he was contacted by Zabuza's underling. He had been expecting quick results, but nothing like this. Shinobi really were a force to be reckoned with.

"Where is your master?" He frowned when only the underling appeared at the entrance to the hideout.

"Dead," the boy said shortly. Well, that was disappointing.

"And the bridge builder?"

"Still alive. He hired shinobi himself."

Gato took a steadying breath. This was… unfortunate, but… "I trust you called me here for a reason, then?"

The boy nodded, leading the way down the hall. "He hired a genin team. Their jōnin sensei is the one who killed Zabuza-sama."

Gato himself didn't notice how Haku's voice caught ever so slightly, but his samurai did. They glanced at each other and gripped the handles of their swords just a little tighter.

"I was able to capture one of the genin. She's down the hall."

As they walked, they could hear a child's voice… singing. The same four verses, over and over and over again, slow and eerie, punctuated by hysterical laughter.

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream~ Merrily, merrily, merrily, mer, life is but a dream~."

Gato was starting to be creeped out, but this was a child. Anyone who'd even heard his name knew to tremble in fear. Full grown men had peed themselves in his presence. He'd teach her to fear him.

When Haku opened the door to where the genin was being held, he could see a chair in the center of the room knocked over. There was… someone tied to it, long blonde hair strewn across her face and the floor. She was rocking against the floor as she sang.

"Merrily, merrily, merrily, mer, life is but a -" The child broke off mid way and stared at them through her hair. Her pupilless eyes were blank. "Dream," she whispered. Slowly, a wide smile crept over her face.

"Are you strangers? Or are you frieeeeends?" The blonde rocked her chair over onto its side. "I like friends. Let's be best friends. _Forever._ " She giggled, wide eyes never leaving Gato.

"Shut her up," Gato said, waving his cane towards her.

Waraji strode forward and grabbed a fistful of her long blonde hair, yanking her into an upright position. Her face briefly contorted with pain as he held her there, but the crazy grin was soon back.

"Are we playing now? Playing with lots of friends is always so much _fun_."

As she began to laugh again, Gato studied her. She looked like a civilian, really. There was a large bloodstain on the right side of her t-shirt, but it was dried and dark now. The only parts of her clothing that suggested that she was a ninja was the wrappings on the left leg of her knee length pants and the sandals that every ninja seemed to wear.

"What's your name?"

"They call me Nonya," she said wistfully. "Nonya business." Gato nodded at Zori, who hit her in the gut with the pommel of his katana. The girl gave a loud cry of pain.

"She's a Yamanaka," Haku said after a moment. "You would do well to mind yourself around her."

"The voices say I can't kill you," Yamanaka said before that damned grin came back. " _Yet._ "

Gato walked forward, inspecting her for a moment before hitting her in the face with his cane.

"I'm going to enjoy it~" she sang, spitting out blood. She grinned at him with wide unblinking eyes. "So much."

"And if I kill you first?" Gato asked, curious. This was the first time someone so powerless hadn't feared him at all. He was intrigued, honestly.

"No matter. I'll just use the seed I planted in your mind." Gato recoiled. "I'll use it to take over your body and ruin everything you've worked so hard to build," she whispered, pleasure on her face. "It will be so easy."

"You're bluffing."

"Am I?" She sounded so amused by the fact he was trying to call her bluff - because it had to be a bluff - that he was almost convinced. Almost.

Her smile was lopsided now due to her face swelling. But she was still smiling. Closing her eyes, she began to sing her stupid little song again.

Nodding to Waraji again, the samurai hit her in the crusty red spot on her shirt. This time she screamed, curling in on herself as much as she could while tied to a chair.

All mirth had vanished from her gaze when she looked up, panting.

"I think… that I won't mind killing you at all," Yamanaka hissed, a dark look in her eyes. "In fact, I look forward to it."

Leaving the room, Gato merely smirked to himself and began mentally going through his list of contacts, wondering how much someone would pay for a young female Yamanaka. Behind him he could hear the sounds of his bodyguards hitting the girl.

"I would prefer that you not permanently maim or disfigure her," he called back. "That would significantly lower her value."

Her hysterical pain-filled laughter echoed in his ears.

* * *

"What do you mean we can't go now?!" Naruto shouted furiously. Kakashi sighed heavily, head aching and coils feeling awfully empty. Sasuke was clearly enraged as well, which surprised Kakashi. He hadn't realized that the Uchiha cared about the girl so much.

"It's an effort for me to even sit up right now," Kakashi explained. "Any effort to rescue Inoko right now will have to wait at least a week if we want it to succeed." He just hoped that she made it that long and didn't flip the kill switch.

Back in Anbu, he'd had a Yamanaka teammate explain to him about the kill switch jutsu Yamanaka were taught a month before graduation. It was a remnant from the warring clans era when getting captured and interrogated would mean death for clanmates. So they came up with a kill switch jutsu. It would utterly destroy the mind to prevent anyone from spilling vital information. It didn't require any hands signs, just dropping into their mind and flipping the metaphorical switch.

Said teammate was forced to use it barely a week later. Needless to say, he didn't want to see his student like that, and _damn it_ , he was getting attached.

It was probably her deadpan sarcasm. He knew for a fact that there were jōnin who couldn't be as sarcastic as she could, leaving one unsure if she was insulting you or not.

"We could at least do _something_ rather than sit here and be useless," Sasuke snapped.

"Our mission is to protect the client," Kakashi reminded him, as much as he hated to say it. "For now, that's all we can do. C-ranks have significantly more risk to them. Inoko knew that she could die when she signed up for this life."

"So what, we're gonna abandon Inoko because she got captured?!" Naruto demanded, shaking with rage. "I thought you said that people who break the rules are trash, but people who abandon their comrades are worse than trash!"

Kakashi winced a little. "We're not abandoning Inoko," he replied firmly. "I'm just saying that our primary objective is to keep Tazuna safe while he builds his bridge. And if Gato just happens to die under mysterious circumstances while we track down our missing teammate, well…"

It took Naruto a moment, but when he got it, a sly smile slid across his face, matching the smirk on Sasuke's.

"Ah, I get you, Sensei," he grinned. "We're gonna rescue Inoko, dattebayo!"

Kakashi had his book out, feeling too troubled to really see the words when Naruto said, "Wait, are we going to kill Gato?"


	13. Laurus Nobilis

"In hindsight, antagonizing him probably wasn't the best idea," I muttered as Haku cleaned the blood from my face. My eye was swollen shut already, which was incredibly annoying and made me paranoid.

"Probably not," he agreed. I was surprised to find I hadn't lost any teeth, but then again…

I frowned as I remembered Gato's parting words. I knew human trafficking was a part of this world, but I never expected to see it first hand so soon. Lovely.

In clan training, Dad had sat Ino and me down and had a very serious discussion about the technique he was going to teach us. Ino had been very shaken afterwards, but I had been… interested. On one hand, it was nice to know that I had an out if I needed it. On the other, I had no idea if I was going to die again and get a new family and life and have to learn another frickin language or if I was going to, y'know, die normally.

With my luck, I'd be thrown into Game of Thrones or something.

While I'd prefer to not die again and be stuck in some endless cycle of death, I'd rather nope out of this world than become a victim of human trafficking. Especially if whoever got me had a few days head start to lose Sensei.

Right. Sensei. I knew that he wouldn't be able to confront Gato for at least a week, which begged the question of exactly how long it had been since I had been captured and what my team was doing. A day? Maybe two?

Sensei was probably reading porn, Sasuke angsting, and Naruto screeching about 'becoming Hokage, dattebayo!11!'.

On second thought, that was a bad train of thought, _abort abort._

* * *

"I don't get it," Ino decided, pouting.

Inoichi sighed heavily as he watched his nine year old twins fidget on the grass. They both seemed more interested in the prospect of playing on the cool spring morning than sitting down for lessons. Ino was bored and confused; Inoko did seem mildly interested, but looked confused about the applications.

"Purposeful Lima Syndrome?" she muttered, plucking grass. "That's…"

"Necessary depending on the situation," he said, chucking Inoko under her chin. "If you can create a bond between yourself and your captor, they might be more willing to be… persuaded."

"Why bother?" Ino interrupted. "I mean, if they've got you already, why let you go?"

"Because if they're holding you hostage, you could at least buy some time," Inoko murmured, looking pale. He wasn't sure if it was because of the lighting or her own clear dislike of the thought. "Even buying a few seconds could mean the difference between life and death."

Inoichi patted her head as Ino's face morphed into an expression of understanding. Inoko varied between understanding subjects like she had been studying them for decades and taking weeks to grasp the basics. Sometimes it concerned him, but he told himself that she was a child and it would pass.

It would pass.

* * *

Pulling Haku over to my side was harder than I would have liked, but it was coming along. He was more and more hesitant and reluctant when I asked him about Tazuna situation. He came back one morning from gathering herbs for my wound looking particularly troubled.

I'd guess from both my memories and what I knew of my teammate that he had undergone Talk no jutsu.

I said nothing and looked away as Haku lifted my stained shirt up to apply the latest layer of medicinal paste to my wound. Ignoring the pain, I stared at the wall with a tight jaw. It was healing at a snail's pace.

"It's healing well enough," Haku finally said.

"Good to know."

I hurt everywhere. Considering I was only let loose in order to relieve myself twice a day, my muscles were cramping horribly. I never thought I'd say this, but I wanted nothing more than stretch and maybe even exercise a little.

Dear lord, I must be going mad.

* * *

Kakashi wanted nothing more than to hit his head against something hard repeatedly. He had done his best to train the boys in the short week he needed to recover, but by the gods did they make it difficult. Thinking he could capitalize on their incessant rivalry was a horrible, horrible mistake.

On a completely unrelated note, the fires had been put out and there wasn't that much damage to the forest.

Anyway.

Once he was actually able to walk around without crutches, he did a bit of scouting. As far as he could tell, Inoko wasn't with Gato. This of course begged the question of where the everloving hell was she?

"Sensei!" Naruto said cheerfully once he arrived back at Tazuna's home. "Did ya find out where Inoko is?"

Kakashi shook his head, feeling frustrated. He hadn't even had his genin team for two months and their first C-rank had gone FUBAR. He really was a crappy sensei.

He wasn't going to let this turn into another Kannabi.

* * *

Haku wasn't sure what to think of his captive. Inoko seemed to know just how much danger she was in, but more often than not it didn't phase her. She would joke with him and make terrible puns - he wasn't sure if he liked them or not because while they were clever they were just so _bad_ \- like they had known each other for years. Like they were friends.

He didn't know how he felt about that.

Haku knew that she knew things she shouldn't. It had taken nearly four years of serving Zabuza-sama before he had gotten the courage to tell him exactly what had happened to his parents, but Inoko… she had known. And she wasn't afraid of him.

Against every screaming instinct in his body, he liked her. She didn't see Haku as less than a human, as his father had when he discovered Haku's kekkei genkai. She didn't see him as something to be used. He was fine with that; he was a tool to be used by Zabuza-sama. But Zabuza-sama was gone now. He really wasn't sure what to do with himself at this point.

From her position tied to a chair, Inoko offered something he never had before. Haku couldn't deny that he wanted it. Even so, he would repeat to himself that he needed to finish Zabuza-sama's last mission.

He didn't want to. He was fond of Inoko, fonder than he should be. Gato had demanded that he turn her over to bait her team into an ambush.

Zabuza-sama had taught him to never feel sympathy for a target, but crushing his feelings was harder this time.

It had started shortly after she had been beaten by Gato's samurai. She had muttered sarcastic remarks under her breath, cursing them and their mothers as he expected. Then she started criticising their fashion choices, of all things.

She had fallen silent for a while after that, thinking hard about something. Probably escape. Unexpectedly, she shuddered violently and began muttering, "Abort train of thought, abort, abort."

She was an extremely odd person.

Inoko would cheerfully talk to him as he did various things around the room, telling him stories about her childhood. While he noticed how careful she was to keep certain things vague, he did find himself lingering in the room merely to listen to her speak. Zabuza-sama had never been one for lengthy conversations.

Sometimes he would ask her questions about her family and clan, telling himself he was probing for information even though he knew he enjoyed talking to someone for once. He thought he saw a glint in her eyes not unlike Zabuza-sama's when he succeeded at something, but it vanished so quickly he wasn't sure he really did see it.

As he got to know her, he felt that he could trust her with little things, like being untied to go to the bathroom. She was wounded, after all; what could she do to him? She never took advantage of him, merely smiling in a warm, genuine way and thanking him each and every time he did something for her.

It made him feel warm in his chest like he hadn't since he was a child.

The days crawled on, and Haku found himself devoting himself to making sure she was ok. How was her wound? (He conveniently forgot that he was the one who gave it to her in the first place) Was she comfortable in her bindings? Did she need anything?

It wasn't unlike how he treated Zabuza-sama.

The night before he was going to turn her over to Gato to act as bait, he caught a triumphant yet guilty look in her eyes. He wondered why.

* * *

Slowly working around the indoctrination that Haku had was an... interesting experience. Sure, I knew _how_ to do it in theory, but theory was a good deal different from practice, and I only had a week to pull him around.

Thankfully, a decade spent learning how the human mind works and another decade learning how to manipulate said mind meant I had an advantage. A good one at that.

As I saw Haku slowly becoming more attached to me, giving me slightly more freedoms, I repeated to myself that this was good, this was just another step to getting free, _this was fine._

I couldn't escape the feeling I was becoming another Zabuza.

* * *

As I slowly returned to consciousness, I had a single groggy thought: _I hate drugs._

Seriously, screw the guy who came up with the non-medical knockout drugs. They freaking sucked.

On a slightly more serious note, I was no longer in Haku's hideout. I could tell that much despite being blindfolded.

"Ah, the Yamanaka brat," Gato said. Judging by the position of his voice, he was about three feet in front of me. "How nice of you to come here."

"Ah, the dipshit with the god awful haircut," I smiled. "How nice of you to invite me."

I probably shouldn't have been surprised as I was when I got hit across the face with his cane again.

"Still as impudent as ever, I see."

"Still as ugly as ever yourself," I said cheerfully, spitting out some blood from my split lip. "When's the party starting?"

"If by party, you mean when my men destroy your little team and finally rid me of that bridge builder, then it will start soon."

"Sounds like fun~" I sang out, grinning widely. "Can't wait to see how Sensei is going to utterly destroy you~"

Oh yes. This was going to be great.

* * *

Naruto was not happy. In fact, one could even say he was extremely pissed off. Sasuke was even more irritable than usual and Kakashi-sensei was barely paying attention to them when he was even around.

All in all, his teammates sucked. Only a stern lecture from Kakashi had stopped him from sending an army of shadow clones out to look for her.

"Argh!" he shouted, clutching at his hair. "It's been a week already! Why can't we get her?!"

Inoko had been one of his first friends - well, she tolerated his presence at first before she started pulling him along to things. She introduced him to Shikamaru and Chōji, then pulled Kiba into their group to keep him busy. She would tolerate his rants about ramen and Sasuke and becoming Hokage to an extent before informing him he was being obnoxious.

It was Inoko who had taught him 'manners', though she disregarded them herself sometimes. She had done her best to teach him the bunshin, though they both eventually gave it up.

She had tried and tried her very best to help him, and he couldn't do the same when she needed it most.

"Dobe."

Naruto looked up to see Sasuke standing in front of him. Scowling, he said, "What do you want, teme?"

"Sensei said it's time," he explained, a strange new light dancing in his eyes. "Let's go."


	14. Eukaryota Fungi

Kakashi crouched in the shadows of the crane, watching the warehouse with cold eyes. He could feel Inoko's chakra in there, sluggish and irregular. Drugged.

Taking his anger and shoving it into a tiny corner of his mind - yes, that was completely healthy and no, he wasn't going to see a therapist - he focused on the chakra signatures in the building, Sharingan whirling slowly.

There were a handful around his student, plus one he took to be Gato judging by the general lack of control. There were at least three dozen more, maybe four dozen, scattered in and around the building.

 _Does he think to ambush us?_ Kakashi thought in grim amusement. He was ex-Anbu; it would take much more than what Gato had to ambush him.

Unfortunately, Gato still had the advantage of Inoko's life. What he could do and had done before was drop in and violently murder all of the more troublesome ones, grab the hostage, and scram before they knew what hit them.

This plan had many holes in it, the biggest of which being that Gato and his men almost certainly knew where they were. And it would probably traumatize Inoko as well. Hm. Problem.

" _Naruto at Point A, dattebayo_ ," echoed in his ear.

" _Sasuke at Point C_ ," came shortly afterward.

He touched his throat mic. "Kakashi at Point B," he said in a low voice, all business. Was it really just a few days ago that he was teaching his students to use these? It felt like a lifetime ago. "In position."

The boys echoed him quietly. Clearly the importance of what they were about to do had hit them. They likely wouldn't get a second chance if this failed.

"Naruto, use shadow clones to occupy the guards at the door and secure the perimeter, but do not engage yourself. I repeat, do not engage with your real body," he ordered. "Sasuke, I want you to make your way to the roof under the cover that Naruto provides. Find Inoko, but do not engage. Over."

" _Copy, 'ttebayo._ "

" _Copy, Sensei._ "

He waited until he heard the shouts of shadow clones before moving, sliding into his Anbu mindset as easily as putting on a well worn shirt. Kakashi noted Sasuke's blur as he ran up the side of the warehouse but didn't think anything else of it.

He had other things to do, such as utterly destroying Gato's empire and incriminating him in a variety of different things as payback for thinking he could snatch one of his adorable little genin and get away with it. The best part? He didn't have to even go to the trouble of framing the man.

Fate was truly kind.

* * *

Inoko once told Naruto that sometimes, you just gotta hit something. Repeatedly. Until something is bleeding or burning. He wasn't quite sure how hitting something would make it burn - Inoko had given a vague explanation involving chickens, which just confused him further - but there was something to be said about taking your rage out on living targets.

Kakashi-sensei had sat him and Sasuke down before they headed out and briefly informed them on what they might find. He had said that there was no guarantee that Inoko would be alive, or even in one piece. Gato had done horrible things to other people like Inari's step-father.

His eyes had tightened as he continued, saying that Gato's men might have… hurt her. At first, Naruto hadn't understood, but then Kakashi had explained in a low voice with short and clipped words.

Even now as he stood hidden by a stack of crates, hearing his shadow clones fight, he was nearly shaking with anger and fear, wanting nothing more than to hurt them for daring to even look at her. Inoko was going to be fine. She was one of the strongest people he knew. Nothing could keep her down for long. She was going to be just fine.

…. right?

* * *

 **Sasuke slowly let the skylight drop closed, being sure to remain silent at all costs. The rafters of the warehouse provided a good way to walk all around the area without touching the ground. There were no booby traps or anything - was Gato expecting ninja or bandits? These defenses were pathetic.** ** _Naruto_** **could do better than this.**

He could hear the shouts of guards both inside and out of the building as the aforementioned idiot did what he was best at - caused a ruckus and grabbed people's attention.

Sasuke crept along the rafters, carefully scanning the ground below for his teammate. There was nothing but crates and crates and boxes and sacks everywhere. A group of thugs ran towards the door underneath him.

And then he saw her.

Inoko was tied to a chair, her long blonde hair filthy and hanging in her face, and two cloths knotted at the back of her head. Blindfolded and gagged. Sasuke took a deep breath and calmed himself. There was no obvious signs that she was hurt aside from the old red stain on her shirt. She was fine. She was - looking right at him.

He blinked in surprise. There was no doubt about it; Inoko's face was briefly pointed towards him with a wide grin on her face. Then she settled down in her seat again. All told, it was barely two seconds. To the unobservant eye, it looked like she was stretching her neck.

 _She knows we're here for her._

This was good. She would be able to cooperate.

"Sasuke in the warehouse," he whispered, touching his throat mic. "I've found Inoko. Over."

* * *

Naruto was so busy beating on the guy who had stumbled on his hiding spot that he almost didn't hear his teammate across the radio. " _Sasuke in the warehouse. I've found Inoko. Over._ "

He paused mid-punch. The man groaned, barely conscious. "What was that, teme?!" He added 'over' after remembering the protocol Sensei had drilled into their heads before the Tora mission.

" _I said I found her. She's alive, and doesn't seem to be in any immediate danger. She has two guards with her, both appearing to be ronin. Over._ "

" _Do not engage!_ " Kakashi said sharply. " _Wait until I get there. I'm on my way. Over._ "

Naruto bit his lip, dropping the barely conscious man at his feet. On one hand, Kakashi-sensei had ordered them to not engage, but on the other, his friend was sitting in that warehouse captive.

A peek inside couldn't hurt, right? His shadow clones had just about everything handled. Yeah, that would be fine. He would just take a quick look inside, make sure that she wasn't…. and then get back into hiding. Besides, the teme was there with her.

What could go wrong?

* * *

Kakashi finished going through Gato's papers. The man had a finger in just about every pie, a truly impressive feat considering his civilian status. It would feel so good to watch this all burn to the ground. It also helped that a good deal of this information would be quite useful to Konoha's Intelligence Corps.

Which was headed by Yamanaka Inoichi.

…. Yeah, he wasn't going to go down that train of thought until he got back to Konoha. Because that would be a totally pleasant conversation.

 _Yeah, Inoichi-san, I made a royal screw up and got your daughter both captured and injured, and it took a week to get her back and oh did I mention that it was crime lord Gato that had her?_

Haha, yeah, no. That was a conversation he'd rather avoid. He had heard stories of how much Inoichi adored his little girls.

Nope. No. Never again.

Anyway.

Rescuing his adorable little kunoichi - no, that sounded creepy and vaguely pedophilic. He'd have to think of a new nickname for her - shouldn't be too hard. He was an elite jōnin after all. Doing so in a way that wouldn't horribly traumatize her was another thing altogether.

Dropping in from a skylight and landing on one of the stacks of crates, Kakashi began to look around for the guards. Most of them were being swarmed outside by Naruto's clones, but there were still too many inside the warehouse for his taste.

Well then.

Stepping off the edge, he dropped his nearly seventy kilos on the first thug's shoulders, breaking his spine and killing him instantly. Kakashi's kunai found their way into the other two thugs' throats. It was over so quickly they didn't have time to cry out.

"Who's there?!" another man called, rounding the corner. He paled upon seeing Kakashi's blood splattered form. Kakashi merely glared at him with his Sharingan. "Oh f-" he started, trying to pull out his sword. Another kunai in his eye prevented him from actually doing anything.

He tore through the rest of the guards around the warehouse, leaving only the two near Inoko left. He knew that Sasuke was up in the rafters near Inoko, so he probably couldn't see the carnage his teacher was wreaking.

Satisfied that he had taken care of most of the problem here, Kakashi began to make his way over to his student.

" _Sensei, there's someone else here!_ " Sasuke said tersely. " _He looks to be a shinobi._ " Kakashi stiffened. It had to be Zabuza's accomplice, the one who had taken Inoko. " _He's talking to her guards, and -_ "

Kakashi frowned, touching his throat mic. "Sasuke, come in." Silence. He swore under his breath. Great. Now they had not one, but _two_ of his students. Now he was _really_ mad.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he heard. "Damn you, shinobi! I'll kill her! I swear to every god out there I'll -" The speaker was cut out sharply, followed by a gurgle.

Not good.

Kakashi followed the scent of blood until he found his students. Sasuke was on the ground, unconscious but alive. Two guards with half drawn swords were lying dead, and Inoko -

His breath caught in his throat as he saw his blonde student. She was either unconscious or - no, she was breathing, just barely, but breathing. Two discarded cloths tied into a knot lay beside her. Her face was an absolute mess and her shirt had a slowly growing red stain on it - stitches broken? - but she was alive. And in their enemy's arms.

He was wearing a Kiri hunter nin mask and holding Inoko in a bridal carry. Her hair fell down over the fake hunter nin's arm.

"Drop. Her," Kakashi snarled, pouring out killer intent. The other shinobi threw a handle of senbon at him. They were easily dodged, but he noticed with some unease that they were made of ice.

Great. His student was being held captive by a hyōton user.

His day really couldn't get any worse, could it?

Ice crawled across the floor as its creator picked Inoko up fully, clearly intent on escaping. Her eyebrows furrowed as she groaned. The fake hunter nin looked down sharply, holding her a little closer.

Kakashi frowned, fingering his weapons. Chidori wasn't an option as long as he had Inoko so close. Troublesome.

"I would advise you to leave," the hyōton user said evenly.

"Like hell I will," Kakashi growled. "Give me back my student."

The other ninja cocked his - her? The voice was rather androgynous - head to the side ever so slightly. "You did not care to come after her for nearly a week. Why do you care now?"

"I didn't come after her because I couldn't," Kakashi snapped. "Give her back now, or else."

Inoko's head shifted as her eyes fluttered. _Come on, wake up. You can do it._ "Ha… ku?" she questioned weakly. "Wha…?"

"Inoko-san. I rescued you from Gato's men," the newly dubbed Haku said. Kakashi still wasn't sure of this Haku's gender.

"I… 'preciate the… gesture," Inoko coughed out, flopping an arm onto her face as she rubbed her eyes. "But I really had it… handled."

"While I'm sure you did," Kakashi called, watching as she struggled to turn her head to him, "you're not safe yet."

"Sensei?! What -" Inoko was interrupted by a coughing fit. She shook her head groggily. "Sensei, please, don't hurt him. He's -" she coughed again "- he's taken care of me. Please." He was reluctant to lower his guard, but he could tell that 'Haku' was just as tense. He slowly nodded, never breaking eye contact with the boy. "Gato," Inoko said hoarsely, gesturing with her fingers towards the sidelines.

The man began to clap as he stepped into the light. "I have to say, shinobi-san, that I'm quite impressed with your prowess against my men. I'm afraid, however, that it won't be enough." The crime lord gestured for his small army - and that really was the best description for it - to come forward. They were all bravado as they surrounded the shinobi, figuring that their numbers actually meant something against him. How amusing.

Sasuke sat up and carefully took stock of the situation before moving to Kakashi's side.

"Gato," Inoko said after a moment, glancing at Sasuke for a moment. "I hope you remember what I told you, hm? About how I was going to _enjoy_ killing you?" The sheer amount of malevolence in her voice worried Kakashi.

"Ah, my dear, but you seem to forget one thing. My men will kill you first," Gato smirked. Inoko threw her head back and _cackled_. It was a harsh and entirely humorless sound.

"Unlike you, I actually have some sense," she said, still grinning. "It would take hundreds of your stupid thugs to even come close to matching Sensei and Haku. You may have drugged me to where I can barely move, but I can't wait for them cut you all down like the filthy animals you are."

Ok, that was bloodlust from his arguably most stable student. That would have to go into his report for sure, because that? That was not normal for a well adjusted child. There was rage and disgust and utter hatred and maybe just a tinge of something like madness in her eyes. He expected something like this from Sasuke, not Inoko. _What did they do to you?_

Then she blinked and it was all gone, hidden by a mask he didn't even know existed before then.

"By all this firepower, I'd have to say that you're compensating for something other than your… stature," she drawled, a casual smirk on her face.

"Inoko, enough," Kakashi said sharply. He was torn between dealing with Haku and dealing with Gato, but the way Inoko was tiredly leaning her head on Haku's shoulder told him that she was safe enough, at least for now.

Inoko was a smart girl. He trusted her judgement, though he did wonder what she had done to make Haku protect her like this.

Turning to Gato and his men, Kakashi silently promised himself to make them understand first handedly exactly why he had a kill on sight reputation.


	15. Agrimonia Eupatoria

After I succumbed to the drugs again, everything was fuzzy, fading in and out. I remembered Sensei's bloody form ripping through Gato's men like a predator through a pack of pigs, sparks jumping off his hand. I remembered the air becoming oh so very cold. I remembered smirking as I saw the look on my captor's face as he realized what a horrible mistake he made. I remembered Sasuke slinging me over his back, trying to carry me to safety.

Everything else was blank.

I woke up in what I assumed to be Tazuna's house, wrapped in what I expertly deduced to be a sea of blankets attempting to drown me. More than happy to help with that goal, I snuggled deeper and silently thanked whoever was up there that I wasn't claustrophobic. The weight of the blankets felt so good, and I was so warm, and - ow. Pain. Pain. Not fun. Ouch.

"Inoko-san?" I peered over the edge of my blankets to see Haku opening the sliding door. Not sure what he was doing here, considering I could sense Sensei and Sasuke downstairs, and Naruto not too far outside the house. He wasn't hiding his chakra either. Huh. I'd have to get that story out of one of them later. "I thought I heard you stirring."

"Haku," I smiled, watching a blush creep over his cheeks as he turned his head away. "Not that I'm unhappy to see you, but what are you doing here?"

"Hatake-san was kind enough to let me stay and continue to care for you," Haku explained after a moment's hesitation. "Naruto-kun vouched for me as well."

"I'm glad you've stuck around," I said with a slight nod, then joked, "I know I wouldn't want Naruto to be trusted with my wounds." His mouth twitched upwards as he tried not to laugh at one of his new friends. At least that worked.

"I let your body flush out the drugs you had been given," Haku continued. "It was nothing that you couldn't sleep off."

I nodded, stomach rumbling abruptly. "Seems legit. Hey, do me a favor and help me to the kitchen; I'm starving."

Haku smiled and helped me out of the mess of blankets. He very gently wrapped my arm around his neck before guiding me to the stairs. My legs nearly gave out underneath me. _Freaking drugs. I wish I could kick who ever drugged me in the freaking face._

"Ok?" Haku asked, supporting more of my weight on his shoulder.

"My legs have the tinglies," I explained, rubbing my thigh and curling my toes.

Of course, getting down the stairs without breaking my neck was a feat in of itself, one that I couldn't have done without Haku's help.

"Inoko-chaaan!" Naruto wailed, bursting through the back door as Haku and I entered the kitchen. Sasuke was sitting at the table, sharpening his kunai. "You're awake!"

"Unfortunately," I sighed, plopping myself down on a seat. "Eternal sleep would be a blessing. Thanks, Haku."

"Idiot," Sasuke said, reaching over to flick me in the forehead.

I pouted at him. Honestly! "Jerk. Abusing your injured teammate. Rude."

"So you're awake," Tazuna said as he entered the room. "I honestly thought you were dead when you went missing."

"It'll take a lot more than a crime lord to get rid of me," I said. Then I gave a sly grin. "I'm like an STD. Easy to pick up and impossible to get rid of."

Naruto groaned loudly and Sasuke did the Uchiha equivalent, which was closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Why you feel the need to compare yourself to an infection is beyond me," Sensei said, flopping into a chair with his nose stuck in a book. He glanced over the top to look me over.

Something told me that I was going to be fussed over a lot.

Suddenly feeling stifled, I abruptly stood. "I'm going to get some air," I announced, already making my way to the back door. Haku took my elbow, supporting my unsteady gait, as he helped me out the door. I collapsed against a post and sank very slowly to the porch. My hands were shaking.

It had been a very long week, and I had no doubt I was probably traumatised. I could feel it even now. The shakes had spread across my entire body. I wasn't ready to talk to my team. I wanted to scream, I wanted to sob, I wanted to go _home_.

Before we left Konoha, I had thought that I knew what I had gotten myself into. I thought I had fully understood the danger that came with being a shinobi. I thought I could do this, become someone powerful enough to change the future. I snorted to myself.

Ha. As if.

I was weak. Pathetically so. I had only changed a couple things, and I really couldn't say they were for the best. Haku was alive. He was now an unpredictable variable. Sasuke didn't have his Sharingan. Major problem.

I… had failed. Bile rose up in my throat as I realized this. So horribly that it wasn't even funny. I had deprived my teammates of experiences that would define their lives, that would help them so much because I got cocky. I thought that I could make things better and I _couldn't_ , I was just making things worse. I was a pathetic thief who didn't deserve her place.

Tears were steadily welling up. Despite rapidly blinking my burning eyes, they just kept coming. Haku gently touched my cheek, wiping away a tear that escaped.

"'m sorry" I whispered, scrubbing at my eyes. "I just-" I broke off and stared sullenly at a bush a few meters away. I was used to shoving my emotions down to a place where they couldn't be found - so used to it that I barely recognized that I was doing it. Most days, I almost believed in the mask I wore.

Taking a few deep breaths of the warm afternoon air, I could feel the tension bleeding out of my muscles. "Sorry," I repeated, voice steadying. "What's up?"

"I wanted to say goodbye to you before I left," Haku explained softly. My eyes widened.

"You're leaving?"

He nodded. I blew my bangs up before brushing them out of my eyes. "That's… wow. What will you do?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "For so long, my life was devoted to Zabuza-sama, and now…" Haku paused before giving me a smile, resting his fingertips on the back of my hand. "I felt lost before I got to know you. Inoko-san, you gave my life a purpose again. Thank you."

I was rendered completely speechless. On one hand, this _was_ what my goal had been during that long week, and I had achieved it quite well. On the other hand, quite literally in this case. Cute boy. Touching my hand.

Curse you, puberty.

Shoving hormonal thoughts aside, I nodded and smiled at him. "You do you, Haku. Just… if you're in the area, look me up, ok?"

"I will, Inoko-san. Thank you." And then he was gone. I leaned my head against the post and inhaled deeply. I felt more calm than I had before.

Yeah, I had screwed some things up. I mean, it wasn't like Sasuke needed his Sharingan in the next couple months. What, were we going to face off against one of the Sann-

… I just jinxed myself, didn't I?

"I really need to stop doing that."

* * *

Kakashi woke up with a rolling storm of bile in his gut. He slowly shifted on his sleeping mat and glanced at his students. Sasuke was curled up in his blankets, Naruto was half in and half out, snoring softly, and Inoko -

He frowned and sat up. Inoko was not in her blanket cocoon. One of the blankets was missing as well. Judging by the coolness of her bed, too, she hadn't been in there for a while. Reassuring himself that she had probably just stepped outside for some air and fell asleep or something, he began to prowl around the house looking for her.

Inoko's scent was stale around here for one, not to mention he couldn't sense her anywhere in the house. Or in the immediate area around the house. Stepping outside, he pulled down his mask and inhaled deeply.

There. She had gone off into the woods. Sleepwalking? Probably not. Going by the scent of spices in the air, she was upset.

Kakashi traced her further into the woods. She had run into a low hanging branch here - he could only imagine the plethora of swearing that happened there - and left a strand of her hair. He pulled the white gold strand free, studying it for a moment.

Her scent was being overwhelmed by the intense smell of flowers from the clearing up ahead. If Kakashi had to guess, Inoko had spent a good deal of time here, maybe half an hour, before leaving from the other side of the clearing, the smell of spices being dampened by the flowers' perfume.

 _What was she even doing in there?_ he wondered. The forest floor inside the clearing was coated with night blooming flowers. Well. She _was_ a Yamanaka. Kakashi gave a final glance at the carpet of white morning glories before following his student's trail again. He was slightly concerned by the fact that he still couldn't sense Inoko anywhere around him.

He wasn't a sensor by any means, but still. Problem.

As Kakashi approached the sea, he could hear - singing. The faint sound of someone singing. _There she is_ , he thought with a sigh of relief. It wouldn't look good on his record to lose the same student twice on the same mission.

Inoko was sitting on the beach with a blanket wrapped around her, watching the sea as waves danced up the shore less than a meter away. She absently wove flowers into a crown of twisted young branches. The same morning glories from the clearing earlier. Kakashi slowly came closer, wary of surprising her.

" _Cold, dark sea_ ," she sang softly, " _your waves are rocking me. I close my eyes and fall asleep. All eyes on me, your eyes on me_."

Inoko closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as Kakashi narrowed his eyes. Her chakra signature was held so tightly within her that it was almost as if she were dead. Kakashi sat down next to her, taking in her appearance with a glance. The contrast between her pale skin and the dark circles under her eyes made him worry, but he didn't really know what to do. She looked exhausted and tense. What could he do? Suggest a bath and a nap?

"Being out by myself has always calmed me," Inoko said after a moment. "Sometimes people just become a little too much and I just need to -" She cut herself off and took a deep, shuddering breath. Slowly, he began to feel the slightest spark of chakra, carefully blossoming back to life.

"Hm, maybe so, but you shouldn't wander off so far next time," he scolded lightly, because he knew there was always going to be a next time. As much as he didn't like it, there would always be a next time. "You could get hurt."

Inoko snorted, her fingers pulling and tying flower stems into what appeared to be a flower crown in the making. "I'm a shinobi now, I'm always going to get hurt."

Kakashi waited, feeling that there was something else that she was wrestling with telling him. He wasn't good with emotions at all, so if it was that sort of thing he wouldn't be able to help her. But something told him that it was something to do with her time as a captive. If he was right, then it was his duty as Inoko's sensei to help her. Ish. Regardless, he would sit with her and listen.

"Ever since I woke up this morning, I've been asking myself why. Why did I antagonize Gato so much, why did I think I had enough luck to get through this alive, why did I think I was _special_?" Inoko spat the final word out, disgust evident in her tone. "I'm weak. I need to become stronger. And I'm such an idiot for thinking I was special enough, that I had some sort of… plot armor, to use a book term."

The angry look on her face faded. "I think… to an extent, I didn't truly think I was going to get out of there alive. I think that a part of me wanted to die back there."

Oookay, not what he was expecting.

Inoko gave a soft 'what can you do' laugh, rubbing the bandage on her cheek. "Sorry. I talk about stupid things after a certain hour."

She glanced at her flower crown and must deemed it good enough, as she got to her knees and set it on Kakashi's head. He blinked in surprise. Inoko burst out laughing.

"Oh, god, I wish I had a camera. You look lovely, Sensei." She began to braid the remaining flowers into her hair, her grin never leaving her face. "I needed that. I'll be back in the house later. Not tired right now."

"You need to sleep some time," Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow. She waved it away, returning her attention to the ocean.

"I slept for a good four hours earlier," she replied dismissively, pulling the blanket around her a bit closer. "I'm good."

Kakashi sensed that unless he either outright ordered her inside or carried her there, she wasn't going to go. Why did he have to get the stubborn ones?

"Ok then, but I don't want to hear any complaints later~"

"Psh, as if."

Kakashi hesitated for a moment before awkwardly pulling her into a one-armed hug. Inoko froze, hands falling from her braid into her lap. He almost dropped his arm and pulled away when she leaned into it a little, like she was afraid she wasn't allowed. He rubbed her arm a little as her hands came up to grab his jacket. Very quietly, he heard her begin to cry.

He really didn't know what to do with crying children, never had, so he just stayed there, watching the moonlight dance on the ocean as she cried into his flak jacket. She apologized a couple times for crying on him, but it was kind of ruined by the fact that she kept crying on him. _We probably make a sight to see, don't we?_

It didn't take too long for her to cry herself out, slumped against him in exhaustion. "Good talk," Kakashi said softly before he scooped Inoko up in his arms and carried her back to the house. She didn't wake up when he wrapped her back up in the cocoon of blankets, merely sighing softly in her sleep.

 _Brat_ , he thought. He wasn't fond of his genin. He wasn't.

* * *

Over the course of the next three weeks, I had to endure Naruto and Tsunami's fussing. Tazuna's daughter reminded me of Yoshino to the point where I jumped to whatever she asked me to do. Sasuke was better about fussing - which was for the best; if he didn't I would probably have stabbed someone - but his annoying habit of just happening to be around doing the same thing I was whenever I went out of sight of the house was driving me crazy. Part of my face was _still_ bandaged because as it turned out, cane handles to the face messed up said face. Who would have guessed? The good news was that it was merely a hairline fracture along with some bruising, but it still hurt. A lot.

I was tired. I wanted to go home.

The bridge was finished on time, more villagers pitching in since the news of Gato's death had spread. It was a sight to be sure, watching these people laughing and joking and starting to look well fed after Gato's warehouses were raided. The children were playing and running around like kids were supposed to do.

It was… nice. I liked Wave.

The bridge wasn't named after Naruto this time, instead being dubbed 'The Freedom Bridge'. Interesting turn of events.

I was fine with it though.

After my conversation on the beach with Sensei, I didn't leave the house after nightmares. Thankfully, the boys didn't question me when I cuddled a bit closer during the night.

I was still glad when we packed up to go home. Inari, Tazuna's grandson, was watching me as I folded the sheets we had been using. I ignored him for the most part, instead enjoying the breeze from the open window across from me.

I kept folding as I listened to Tsunami kindly making us one final meal before we left. I was really looking forward to travelling; it was a beautiful day.

The floorboards creaked as Inari shifted his weight. I continued to ignore him, focusing on folding the sheets.

"I don't get it," he said finally. I stacked the folded sheet on the pile before turning to face him. I raised an eyebrow and gestured for him to continue, leaning on the bedpost. He had been watching me from around corners ever since I had recovered enough to get around the house. I didn't like it, but I wasn't going to snap at a kid for no reason. "How did you get away?"

"I had a friend in there," I replied. I had a feeling I knew where this was going to go. "Look, kid. I know where you're going with this."

Inari stiffened. "You don't know anything," he whispered.

"I know enough," I said flatly. "I'm sorry about your dad, kid, I really am. But Gato was a psychopath, and your dad antagonized him in the wrong way." The boy glared at me. I crouched in front of him, removing the patch on my face and pointing at the yellow and green bruise from where Gato hit me. "See this? I got this because I antagonized him the first time. This is a hairline fracture. As in Gato literally broke my face. The only reason I'm still alive was because he thought he could make a profit off me. I knew that, so I pushed him. He had the ever living daylights beaten out of me for it. I was lucky; luckier than I had reason to be."

I met Inari's eyes, staring impassively until he began to squirm and looked away. I felt for him, I really did. But that didn't excuse his behavior at all.

"Kid. Inari. I know losing your dad hurts. Believe me, I _know_. But the people at fault for that are dead." I chucked him under the chin and smiled softly. "Chin up. Your mom and grandpa are still here, and they love you very much."

He stared at me for a moment before fleeing. I sighed.

I really sucked with kids.


	16. Delphinium Staphisagria

"No! No! Don't you dare, Uchiha!"

"Inoko, we need to change your bandages. You can't do it by yourself."

"Touch me and the Uchiha family jewels are going bye-bye!" I snarled. Sasuke paled and backed away. I grabbed a branch and pulled myself higher, glaring down at my teammates. Naruto was giggling uncontrollably as he worked on setting traps nearby.

"Stop being unreasonable, Inoko," Sensei drawled from the campfire, eyes never leaving his book.

" _Your face_ is unreasonable," I shot back, exactly like a mature adult. That got a glance up from his book. Sensei gave me a Look before going back to the orange novel. Jerk. "Sorry," I muttered. It was a bit uncalled for, after all.

"Why won't you just let me help you?" Sasuke asked, clearly frustrated. He tried to walk up the tree again - and man was I jealous of that - but a kunai appearing in my hand made him decide to go with words.

"Because I'm a girl?" I pointed out. My face was hurting a little from blushing. "And you're a boy?"

"Wow, really, I hadn't noticed."

"Shut up, Sasuke."

Naruto came in from the tree line, dumping the remnants of his trap making by the fire. Sasuke gave him a look.

"If we rush her from both sides we could pin her," he murmured out of the corner of his mouth. My eye twitched. I rubbed my sticky hand on my pants, hating in that moment the propensity of evergreens leaking sap all over the place.

"She can't climb that much higher, dattebayo," Naruto agreed, prepping his chakra. _Oh hell no._ I reached out and pulled a pinecone free from a branch, nearly losing my balance in the process. Then I nailed Sasuke in the forehead with it.

Because he was wearing his hitai-ate, it probably didn't hurt him, but the warning was clear.

"Why are you being so ridiculous?" he demanded.

"Because believe it or not, I have a strong sense of modesty and I am perfectly capable of changing my own bandages!"

Sasuke threw his hands up in the air, giving up. "Fine. Change your own bandages, idiot."

" _Thank you_. Now, if you could toss them up?"

"...why?"

"...I may or may not be a little stuck."

Sasuke loudly groaned as Naruto fell to the ground laughing. I grinned sheepishly.

"Wait, maybe I can jump out."

"Inoko, _no_!"

" _Inoko_ _yes_!"

* * *

"Ok, so maybe that was a bad idea," I said, lying on the ground and watching the stars as Sensei replaced a couple of my stitches. "On the bright side, I now know not to jump out of a nine meter tree into a roll when I have stitches in my side."

"Most people would call that common sense, considering this is the third time you've torn your stitches," Sensei said dryly. "Are you really that determined to keep this wound?"

"Sadly common sense isn't that common," I mused. "And no, I'm really not. I'm just really bad about, you know, not tearing them."

"I've noticed," he admonished, flicking my nose. I scowled at him. I mean, he had a point, but still, _ow._

Sensei smoothed out the bandage on my stomach before giving me the all clear. I gladly pulled my shirt down and shivered. Ultra powerful shinobi he may be, but a snowman would have warmer hands than him.

I leaned my head against Naruto, feeling exhausted. I hadn't slept much at all since Haku had taken me, and it was taking its toll on my body. I was too agitated and nervous to sleep but too tired to really do anything.

Home and a sleeping pill or two sounded great about now. And maybe a talk with Dad. The thought that part of me might have actually _wanted_ to die back there was… a disturbing thought. I don't want to die… I think.

Make that a very long talk with Dad.

After sleeping for a good twenty hours, hopefully longer, I would be able to get back to my garden. I missed my daffodils.

"Inoko-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"You're drooling on my shoulder."

* * *

 **"** **Relax, woman," Shikamaru drawled, pulling on my bangs. I huffed and smacked his hand away before smoothing them back.**

"Relax? Hell no!" I declared. Ever since Inoko left on that C-rank, I'd had this awful feeling that _something_ was wrong. Dad had just laughed it off, but I knew.

"This is _Inoko_ we're talking about," Shikamaru said, lifting his head up from the grass. "Remember? The girl who somehow accidentally exploded Iruka-sensei's desk a couple years ago? The girl who got lost and nearly ended up in the Forest of Death? The girl who sleep walked out her window and into the restricted section of the library?"

"Don't doubt the twin connection, lazybones," I replied, putting a hand on my hip and wagging a finger at him. "You might believe all her excuses as to why she did all that crazy stuff because of some stupid crush on her, but that doesn't mean that I do."

Shikamaru dragged a hand over his face, though it couldn't hide the faint red on his cheeks. He looked away from my triumphant look because honestly, he could try to hide it but it was soo obvious.

"Will you stop saying stuff like that?" he hissed. "You know how Inoko gets when she finds out about… _romance_ ," he finished disgustedly.

Ok, he had a bit of a point. I loved my sister, but she was _weird_ when it came to romance. Like when Mother and Dad get all mushy and affectionate with each other, she barely looks up from whatever she's reading and just says, "I ship it."

Sometimes I was glad I was clan heir instead of her. If Inoko became clan head… actually, no, I wasn't going to think about that.

"I suppose she's alright," I said after a moment. "I mean, she has her sensei _and_ Sasuke-kun. They wouldn't let anything happen to her, right?" I paused for a second. "No, something went wrong on the mission, oh god, someone's _died_."

"I agree with Shikamaru," Chōji said. "Here, have a chip."

"Can't, I'm on a diet," I replied, twisting my long bangs around a finger anxiously. "I'm telling you, Inoko and I have a twin connection and something went wrong!"

"I give," Shikamaru sighed. "She's just gonna keep worrying no matter wha-"

"Is that Sasuke-kun?" I interrupted, taking a second look across the street.

I could see his signature raven hair bobbing agitatedly next to two familiar blond heads. Inoko was wearing her usual knee length pants and that stupid 'dog peeing on a ninja' t shirt. A grin broke out on my face. I must have been wrong. They were back and everything was _okay_.

"Sasuke-kun!" I shouted, making my way over. "Inoko!"

My sister startled violently - weird, she normally knows when I'm coming for some reason - and spun around, her back to me. She was acting stranger than normal.

I ignored it for the time being, instead hugging Sasuke from behind. "I'm so glad you're back safe! Not that there was any doubt about it~"

Naruto glared at mine and Sasuke's tender reuniting, muttering something about Sasuke being an idiot. Obviously false, since Sasuke-kun was far smarter than Naruto would ev- _what the_ hell _was wrong with my sister_?!

Inoko had finally turned to face me. She looked like she had taken a stroll through hell. She was pale, her face sunken and eyes dark. Had she even _slept_ during that mission?! I knew her insomnia was bad, but this was ridiculous.

"If you're done molesting my teammate," Inoko said sarcastically.

Well, nice to know _that_ much hadn't changed in the month she'd been gone.

I pouted at her, saying, "I wasn't _molesting_ him, you pervert. I was trying to show him how happy I am to see him."

"Right," she replied, drawing it out. "If that's what you want to call it."

"Well, kids, don't forget to write out your mission reports and turn them in in about, oh, a week or so," Inoko's sensei said cheerfully. "See ya!"

After he vanished in a swirl of leaves, Inoko muttered, "Wow, so specific, Sensei. A real stickler for time, that one." Raising her voice a little, she added, "Boys, I love you both, but if I have to spend any longer in your company I'm going to murder someone."

"Don't forget to stop by the hospital," Sasuke said, focusing on my sister intently. She waved it away.

"I'm fine, I told you."

My eyes narrowed as Sasuke walked away. "And why, dearest sister, would you need to go to the hospital?"

Inoko tugged on her bangs, a sure sign she was thinking of a way to get out of this conversation. Her eyes flicked towards my teammates, but I knew they wanted answers as much as I did. We didn't grow up together for nothing.

Inoko sighed, shoulders slumping as she gave in. "Long story short, it kind of maybe accidentally went FUBAR."

" _What_?!" I shouted. Shikamaru inhaled sharply beside me.

"It's fine now, I got better," Inoko laughed nervously, waving her hands.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I growled.

"Oh wow, look at the time," Inoko said, eyes flickering around. "I completely forgot that I had a thing and _bye~_ "

Her hands flew up into a seal and unleashed a good five mindless clones that quickly scattered. Inoko herself was also gone. I gritted my teeth.

Like hell she was going to get away without giving me some answers.

* * *

My side hurt. A lot. I mean, I was pretty sure I hadn't busted another stitch, which would delay my healing for like another week, but it still hurt. And I was safe from my sister and her team.

I loved them all to bits, but couldn't a girl get some peace? I had to go to some pretty extreme methods to evade them.

"Inoko? She's back?" I heard Sakura say from downstairs. I pulled back a bit further under her bed. "No, I haven't seen her, Ino-pig."

"Well thanks anyway, Forehead."

The love of two friends for each other right there.

I froze as Sakura's footsteps came up the stairs. The door creaked open and let her feet in before swinging shut. She approached the bed and _oh shi-_

Sakura flopped onto the bed, sending the mattress springs into my back. I yelped in pain, unable to hold it in. She squealed and jumped off the bed. Wincing, I dragged myself out from under the bed and looked up at the kunai she was holding in my face.

"This is the greeting I get after a month away," I deadpanned.

"I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, dropping the kunai on her desk and helping me up. "Ino-pig is looking for you, by the way."

"I am unfortunately aware of this. As far as anyone outside of the house is concerned, I'm not here."

"...ok?" she said hesitantly. "Why?"

"Because they're all convinced I need to go to the hospital, and I really don't," I muttered.

"Why would you need to go to the hospital?"

"...No reason."

"Inoko."

"Oh wow, I just remembered that I have somewhere to be, bye~"

"Inoko!"

* * *

The downside of having so few friends was that I had fewer places to hide out from said friends when they were intent upon finding me and shipping me to the hospital. Thus, I went to the second to last place they'd look for me.

Straight home to take a very long nap and wait for it all to blow over. Where my sister was waiting for me.

Ok, so maybe she knew me a bit better than I thought.

"Get your pajamas on," she said, throwing my favorite set in my face. "We're having a sister night."

"Yeah, but -" I started, but she held up a hand.

"I'm giving myself a cheat day, so yes, there is chocolate involved. Go get changed."

"Ino, have I ever told you that you're my favorite sister?"

"No need to tell me when I already know that~"

I rolled my eyes and ran upstairs to change, taking the stairs two at a time. We hadn't had a sister night in… since before we'd graduated. I'd missed it more than I'd known. "Vain piggy!" I shouted down.

"Sloppy piggy!" came the immediate response. I loved my sister. Heh.

When I came back downstairs, Ino was settled on the couch with what some might call an ungodly amount of blankets. Two steaming cups were resting on the coffee table alongside one of the teapots.

"Pudding?" she offered, holding up two chocolate pudding cups. I narrowed my eyes.

"Would I be correct in assuming that you're trying to bribe me into telling you what happened?"

Ino shrugged. "Maybe."

"Ino uses: Pudding! _It's super effective!_ "

She laughed and rolled her eyes as I burrowed under the blankets. I accepted my cup, mouth watering. We dramatically clinked our plastic cups together before opening the lids.

"The only way to eat these is to lick every bit of chocolate out," I said.

"Agreed."

We talked about unimportant things such as training and team antics for several minutes, simply getting reacquainted with each other after a month. I was vaguely aware of Mother and Dad hovering around the room, pointedly not entering to give us our privacy.

I had the best parents.

Ino had the mind to at least wait until I had finished with the pudding and began on my tea before pressing for answers again.

"So," she drew out slowly. I groaned inwardly. "What happened?"

I almost put her off again. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I glanced up at the wrong moment. Her eyes were wide with concern, anxiety tightening her mouth. Glancing down at her hand, I noticed her twirling the ends of her hair around her fingers, one of her nervous tics. She wouldn't be placated with anything but the truth.

I sighed and put my cup down. "What _didn't_ happen would probably be a better way of putting it," I muttered, ruffling my bangs. "The client lied about the rank of the mission. He had missing nin after him."

"What?" she hissed, anger written across her face. "Why, that slimy -"

"Can I finish?" I deadpanned. It was better to stop her short here rather than let her get going.

"Right, sorry," Ino said, leaning back into the couch. "How did that work out?" I leaned off the edge of the couch to reach into the shelf where Dad kept the Bingo books. "Oh hell no."

"Hell yes," I agreed, flipping the Mist book open to the correct page. After I found the correct page, I handed the book to her. I could see her face shift from confusion to shock to horror, blood draining from her face.

"The Demon Brothers of the Mist?" she whispered. "They're chūnin level!"

"Yup," I said, cocooning myself in the blankets. "They ambushed us, though it wasn't particularly good."

"Water based ambush, I would think," she said, scanning their page for information. "Not good because it was in a drier area?"

"A massive puddle in the middle of the road! When it hadn't rained for days! Were they _trying_ to get killed?!"

"Not everyone pays attention to the little things," Ino reminded me. "How many times did you mess up the transfer technique because you weren't remembering little steps?"

"I could go to bed right now and not tell you how it got worse," I offered, getting up a little.

"Inoko."

"I thought so." I settled back down with what Uncle Kojiro called my 'beat you and we both know it' grin. Shikaku just called it my shit eating grin.

"So what happened?"

"We fought them. Duh. Sensei pretended to fall for the ambush in order to find out who their target was. Naruto froze up, Sasuke leaped into action - lose that starry eyed look before I go upstairs - and I used the transfer jutsu on one of them. I figured that since they were attached by that chain, I could -"

"Counteract the attacks of the other while Sasuke-kun - oh, don't look at me like that - protected Naruto and the client."

"And it would have worked if I hadn't realized that they could disengage the chains from their gauntlets in anticipation," I sulked. I was still sore over this. "Then stupid Sasuke had to go and nail me to a tree, so I had to end the jutsu."

"Didn't you explain it to him?"

"The idiot went and forgot. They both did! And yet they still left my body just lying in the middle of the road. I was sore for like a week!"

Ino thought for a second before shrugging. "Yeah, I can't think of an excuse for that. And then?"

"We decided to continue with the mission," I said, taking a quick drink of my cooling tea. "We continued on to Wave where we were ambushed again."

"At this point you should have just dropped the mission," Ino observed.

"Yeah, it does seem kind of obvious in hindsight, doesn't it? Anyway, here's the guy who ambushed us. Go to page fifty-six."

Ino gave me a dubious look as I smirked. I giggled a little when I saw the look on her face. It was absolutely priceless.

" _Hoshigaki Kisame?!_ "

"What?! No!" I took the book and flipped a couple pages back before handing it to my suddenly very relieved sister. "No, we wouldn't be alive if it was him. That guy is…"

Terrifying would be one word to describe him. Beast would be another. No thanks, Plot.

"Momochi Zabuza isn't much better!" Ino snapped, hitting me with a pillow.

"Ow! Chill, Sensei dealt with him!" Ino relaxed for a moment before I added, "At least until he got captured in a water prison thingy."

"Yamanaka Inoko!"

"What? I was perfectly safe the entire time! He couldn't attack us without freeing Sensei, so he made a much weaker water clone."

Ino continued to glare. I… was making this worse, wasn't I?

"Ok, so maybe not _perfectly_ safe. But I was relatively safe. Ish. Plus, because of how he had to stand in the same spot, I couldn't have had a clearer target if he was _trying_ to get me to attack him."

"Please tell me you didn't."

"So I hid in a tree -"

"Inoko."

"- took aim -"

"Please don't."

"- and then took control of his body."

Ino face palmed. Hard.

"His oversized butter knife was surprisingly light considering the size and sheer amount of metal."

"That's not… the Kubikiribōchō is not a butter knife, no matter how large it is."

"Shh, that doesn't matter anymore, he's dead now."

"How did that happen?"

I gathered my thoughts, absently noting just how still Dad and Mother were in the kitchen.

"Well, after I freed Sensei, I… lost control of the jutsu, so they started fighting again, and then I presume that Sensei killed him somehow."

"Presume?"

"... Yeah."

"Inoko. How did you lose control of the jutsu."

"Weeell."

"Inoko. Tell me right now or so help me I'm taking the boys and interrogating Naruto."

"Ok, now that's rude."

"You're avoiding the question."

Crap. She's onto me.

"I… kind of maybe accidentally got wounded and kidnapped by Zabuza's partner."

Wow, Mother and Dad's chakras are really agitated. Probably something to do with the flower shop or something.

"Granted that one's also on me; I didn't think to take one of Naruto's shadow clones or Sasuke or something. But hey, I got better? and I'm back home safely, so there's that. Oh! I also made friends with Haku, which is a bonus. He's super cute and _just your type~_ "

Ino narrowed her eyes at me. I nervously laughed a little as her gaze intensified.

"Who were they working for that figured that a hostage would be a good idea?"

"Um… Gato?"

"As in the shipping tycoon who takes over small countries Gato? That Gato?"

"Well, that was fun, yawn, wow, I'm tired, I'm going to go to bed now, ok, ok, bye bye, goodnight."

"Inoko!"

"Generic excuse, bye!"

I fled into the kitchen, bare feet skidding on the tile. Mother was reading a magazine at the table as Dad worked on dinner. Man, he was going at those veggies with a vengeance.

"Mother, you're crinkling the pages."

"Ah, so I am. I'll… be back in a bit. Don't wait for me, Inoichi."

"Maybe you should pick up a bottle of wine on your way back," he joked. "We're going to need it."

Actually, this was starting to get suspicious. I mean, it was probably nothing, but still. Mother didn't act like this usually.

Pushing my concerns aside, I hugged Dad from behind. A heavy weight vanished from my shoulders as I breathed in his familiar scent and listened to his steady heartbeat. I buried my face in his shirt. He laughed softly, the sound echoing through his body.

"Missed me, cuddle bug?"

I nodded, squeezing him a little tighter. I had come so close to losing all of this. _I don't want to go. I want to stay here with this forever._

"How was it, then? Anything interesting happen?"

"It… went," I said carefully.

Lying around Dad had always been a challenge. Heck, lying around ninja period was tough. They were trained to detect lies and to lie convincingly themselves. Dad in particular was a master at detecting deception, and I strongly suspected that he knew every single time whenever Ino or I fibbed. He let us go when the lies were convincing enough, and had even given us tips on fabricating truths properly.

Ninja parents did things a bit differently.

"I mean," I said, tying an apron on and taking over the stove, "stuff happened. It was a C-rank, after all." _Which will be upgraded to A-rank and we'll be paid as such, according to Sensei._ "Wave was beautiful. I'd love to travel around the world someday and just see… everything. You know?"

"Being a shinobi has its perks," Dad agreed. He dumped the potatoes in the boiling water before sticking a lid on. "How have you been sleeping?"

Crap.

"I've had better nights," I replied evasively.

"You look like you've been getting two hours of sleep a night for a while."

I winced. Dad's voice had remained pleasant, but underneath it was a sharp reprimand. The Academy had been rather… vocal about their concerns about my sleeping schedule. It wasn't healthy to sleep so little and dulled my reaction times. In their words, 'a danger to herself and her future comrades'.

It was probably true and all, but still. They weren't sugar coating things.

"I'll be fine now that I'm home," I said, refusing to meet his eyes. "It's not that big a deal, I'm just… stressed." I looked up and beamed at him. "I'll be better after a nap."

Dad gave me a long studious look before accepting my words. "Then go take one, silly," he said, gently pushing me away from the stove. "Do you want me to wake you up for dinner?"

"Nah, I'll eat later. Goodnight, Dad." I paused at the foot of the stairs. "I love you."

"I love you too, moonflower."


	17. Digitalis Purpurea

"Long time no see," Shikamaru said as he sat down next to me. I didn't open my eyes, bare feet dangling in the creek as the sun shone down through the canopy. I was warm and happy with life. I was almost ready to fall asleep.

"Hm."

"If I didn't know better I'd say you've been avoiding me."

"I don't avoid my friends, Shika. I've been busy."

He tsked and lay down, grass rustling. For several long seconds, all I could hear was the creek babbling and a bird chirping incessantly.

"Ok, that was a lie; I have been avoiding you," I admitted.

"Figured. Ino says you've been holed up in your room since you got back. 'Only leaving for food and the bathroom', to use her words."

"Traitor. I've just… not wanted to interact with anyone lately."

This was only a partial truth. I had been holed up in my room writing. Wave had been close. Too close. I had slept hard for a good fifteen hours before settling at my desk to scribble out every single thing I remembered about the Plot in romaji for the next twenty hours. If I did end up dying, I needed some sort of backup. Something that would be found and used.

I had written out a cipher with a coded hint at the bottom and a note of apology to my family before sealing them in a box and turning it in as my last will and testament. It had been accepted without a hitch, not that it had any reason not to.

In a way, I had a strong sense of peace about the whole thing now. If I died, the cipher would go straight to Shikaku along with instructions on how to find the five notebooks crammed with my 'coded' writing. Just a couple hours ago I had buried the box containing them in the Nara forest with an earth jutsu. Considering that it was now ten meters under, I was fairly confident that no one would accidentally stumble upon them.

"How have you been?" Shikamaru asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Tired. I have a lot of sleep to catch up on. You?"

He sighed heavily. "Mom's troublesome as usual. Your sister's troublesome as usual. Everything's the same as usual."

"That sounds nice," I said wistfully. "I don't think I'm going on another mission like that any time soon, so I have plenty of time to get used to it."

"Hn. Team giving you any trouble?"

"Nothing I can't handle," I replied, giving a one shouldered shrug. "I'm actually due for a bit of training later at three."

"... Inoko, it's three twenty."

"Hm, problem. You think I could get away with skipping?"

"You should probably go," Shikamaru said lazily. "Naruto will only be more troublesome."

"Such a drag."

* * *

"You're late!" Naruto shouted as I strolled into the clearing. Sasuke noticeably relaxed as he stopped pacing. Sensei, of course, barely glanced up from his book. _Wow, he's actually on time for once? Hokage must have really read him the riot act._

"Sorry I'm late, I had to help an old lady out of a tree, then I had to help a black cat carry her groceries home," I explained.

Actually, I could see why Sensei did this all the time. This was _fun_.

"That's… really not how that works," Sensei said with a note of pain in his voice.

"Sure it is," I grinned. "So what are we up to today?"

"Kakashi-sensei taught us a really cool taijutsu move!" Naruto blurted before anyone else could say anything. "If someone's punching at you, you just grab their arm and go whazaam! Like that! And then you do this!"

He mimed what I believed was some sort of arm bar and flip, but it was hard to tell with only one person actually doing the move. Hm.

"I'm afraid that Inoko will have to refrain from learning that for now," Sensei interjected, snapping his book shut. "You boys continue to practice the grab. I'll work with Inoko on tree walking."

Oh. Yeah, that. Kind of an important thing to learn.

"I'm pretty sure I understand the theory," I said, following Sensei to the closest tree. "I read about it in one of my chakra theory books."

"Theory is different from application, Inoko," Sensei reminded me. He stopped in front of the tree and gestured to his feet. "Focus your chakra in the soles of your feet, then try taking a step."

I blew air into my bangs. "Sounds fun."

I closed my eyes and focused my chakra in my belly before letting it fall down to my feet. It was going to take a good bit of chakra, I knew that much. Once my feet were humming pleasantly with chakra, I lifted my foot and stuck it on the tree.

And proceeded to promptly blow myself a few meters back.

"Ow," I said after a moment. It was slightly muffled by the grass I had in my mouth. "I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say I used too much."

"Hm." He went back to reading his book. Wow, super helpful, Sensei.

I stood in front of the tree and rested my hand on it, closing my eyes. Theoretically, I was supposed to stick to the bark. Suction, then? Or maybe stickiness. Could one even create suction with chakra?

I pulled the chakra from my gut to my hand, tension bleeding out of my shoulders as I felt the warmth creep down my arm. As the chakra came into contact with the tree, I shivered. It slowly bled from my hand into the grooves of the bark.

It wasn't suction or stickiness. It was… using the chakra to join with the tree. It was attaching yourself like a limpet.

"You're not doing anything." Sensei lightly bopped me on the head with his book.

"Just thinking, Sensei."

He hesitated for a moment before retreating again. I opened an eye to look at him, but couldn't read the sliver of his visible face. Hm.

I lifted my foot and rested it on the tree again, focusing on drawing the chakra down and sticking to the tree. To my utter delight, it actually stuck. I lifted my other foot to join it, but proceeded to fall again, foot still stuck to the tree. My head throbbed painfully.

"And that's why we should take a running start until we have the needed upper body strength."

"Yup!"

I glared at him before releasing my foot's hold on the tree. _Let's try this again._

I gave the tree a dark look as I lowered my body into a runner's stance. I was going to do this and catch up to the boys if it was the last thing I did. What kind of powerful shinobi would I be if I couldn't even walk on trees?

Launching myself forward, I pumped chakra down my legs to increase my velocity and prepare the chakra at my feet. The good news is that I made it about half way up. The bad news is that I lost control of my chakra and slipped off.

"Go die in a hole," I told the tree seriously.

"It's already living in a hole," Sensei airily pointed out.

"Then it can die in a hole where it belongs."

"It will."

"Good." I lay on the ground for several seconds, debating on the worth of taking a nap right there. "Hecking crap."

"You have an odd way of swearing," Sensei observed.

"My parents were never big on my swearing like my inner sailor demands. Wonder why."

Sensei nudged me with his foot. I groaned and tried to ignore it, but the pokes became more insistent. He wasn't quite kicking me, but it wasn't painless either.

"Oww," I moaned. "Leave me alooone."

"You need to keep working on this, Inoko," he said lightly.

"And you need to… I don't know. Jōnin stuff."

"Like teaching you?"

Well crap. He's got me there.

"Go join the tree in the hole."

* * *

Inoichi blinked as he was roused from sleep. Darkness hung in the room like a thick blanket. He wasn't sure at first what had woken him, at least until he heard a clattering in the kitchen. Beside, him, Noriko sighed.

"Is Inoko stress cooking again?" she asked sleepily.

"I'll take care of it," he whispered before yawning. It was half past three in the morning. The joys of caring for a troubled insomniac.

The smell hit him first as he made his way down the stairs. Inoichi paused on the stairwell, glancing under the ceiling to peek on his daughter.

Inoko had about three different recipes going on at once, apron hastily tied and hair tied into a bun with a chopstick. He mentally winced. If the hair was up, then this was serious.

"Puttering in the kitchen again, moonflower?" Inoichi asked as he went the rest of the way down.

"I do not 'putter'," Inoko snapped, fiercely chopping a carrot. "I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd be productive with my time and make something."

He settled down at the table and waited. Inoko was at a point he had been waiting for. She had been twitchy and antisocial since she came back from her C-rank. Even after returning home, she remained mostly sleepless with little appetite. Knowing her, she didn't want to bother him with her problems, so had kept them to herself.

Inoichi wasn't going to push. He'd wait until she was ready to talk, and then help her to the best of his ability.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I shouldn't have snapped like that."

"Probably not," he agreed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

He stifled a yawn as he retrieved some paperwork. He was going to wait until she was ready to talk, even if it took all night. He would be there for her.

When he returned to the kitchen, a brewing cup of tea was waiting for him. _Even when she's clearly hurting, she tries to take care of people,_ he thought fondly.

After perhaps twenty minutes, when most of the food was sizzling on the stove, Inoko finally spoke.

"I had a nightmare. About Wave. About what might have happened."

Inoichi put down the report he was reading and locked eyes with the back of her head. Without turning, she continued.

"I… I knew it was a dream, but I couldn't wake up. I couldn't make it stop. I couldn't make him stop _laughing._ " Inoko paused her stirring for a moment before taking a deep breath. He didn't ask who 'him' was. "He's dead now. It doesn't matter."

"Does it?" he asked softly.

"I don't think so," she whispered. "I… I don't know w-why I did what I did then. It was stupid. It was so damn _stupid_!"

Inoko slammed the spatula down against the countertop, shuddering with emotion.

"I could have died. I should have died. But…"

"But what?"

"Never mind, it's stupid."

She began to pare a chicken breast, muttering incomprehensibly to herself. Her right foot was tapping the ground impatiently as she took deep breaths.

"All information is valuable, moonflower," Inoichi reminded her. "What is it?"

Inoko spun around, distress in her eyes. "I think I wanted it."

He leaned back in his chair, surprised. _At last, the root of the problem._

"I wanted to die," she repeated, swaying lightly. He doubted she even noticed it. "I think. But… I don't want it. I'm… I'm _happy._ I have a family that loves me as much as I love them. I have friends that care for me. I'm… reaching for my dreams. I shouldn't want it. _I don't want it._ "

Tears began to fill her baby blue eyes and spill down her face as she spoke. The longer she spoke, the more incoherent she became, sobs racking her body. After she finished, she pressed her hand to her mouth and collapsed to the floor, crying uncontrollably.

Inoichi instantly stood and moved around the table to envelope her in his arms. There was something deeper behind all of this, something she wasn't telling him, but it would have to wait.

"I don't want to go, Daddy," she sobbed into his chest. "I don't want to go."

"You don't have to, moonflower," Inoichi whispered, pulling her closer. "I won't let you go. I won't ever let you go."

Inoko kept crying. He made a brief shadow clone to turn off the stove and remove the pans while he focused on his hurting daughter.

His back was cramping by the time her tears ran out.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't apologize for having emotions," he gently scolded. "Everyone has them, even if they've shoved them deep down."

"Emotions are stupid. I wish I didn't have any."

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, you're right, I don't."

They both laughed softly. Inoko sniffed.

"I do hate crying though. My eyes burn and I'm congested for the next twelve hours."

Inoichi smoothed her hair down before resting his chin on her head. Gods above, he loved his girls to bits. He was content to just sit there on the kitchen floor until dawn holding his little girl.

"Dad?

"Yes, my moonflower?"

"Do you think that… there _is_ a part of me that wants to… you know?"

Inoichi sighed. "You're too hard on yourself. And overthinking things again. Why would the id crave its own destruction? The first desire of any healthy mind is to stay alive, and you, sleepyhead, have a healthy mind. What mind would want to admit that it made a foolish decision?"

"I guess you're right," Inoko murmured. "You usually are."

"Considering that's my job." Inoko laughed and relaxed against him. "Now, I have some extremely important questions."

She stiffened against him before reluctantly meeting his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Are we going to finish cooking all this, or should we just put it away? Because if your mother wakes up to find this kitchen trashed, we're all in trouble."

"Aw, crap. I guess we should probably finish here. The joys of leftovers! Wait a minute. I could -"

"No."

"You don't even know what I'm going to say!"

"Knowing you, moonflower, it's something bad."

Inoko huffed. "This is blatant discrimination."

"How many times did you nearly blow up your bedroom?"

"... that's not fair."

"Case in point."


	18. Camellia Sasanqua

"What in the greatest heck."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ino look up from her book. She peered at me from around the vase of grasses on my bedside table.

"What?" Ino asked.

"So I'm reading this botany textbook, right? And I find this freaking entry. 'Peltandra osmunda, a plant found in the Land of Waves, the Land of Water, and swampy areas of the Land of Fire, blah blah blah, used as a clotting agent, blah blah, side effects include', and I quote, 'severe lapses in judgement under duress once introduced to the bloodstream'."

Ino blinked as I slammed the heavy book shut triumphantly. "That's nice, but how is that relevant?"

"Because I recognize the illustration for that plant! Haku used it while I was held prisoner to heal my wound!"

"So what you're basically saying," Ino said slowly, "is that your whole very stupid moves during your hostage time were under the influence of this plant?"

"Ish," I shrugged. "I'm saying that I was high as a kite and not realizing it, plus my judgement was severely skewed because of being high."

My sister raised an eyebrow.

"It means I wasn't being a complete moron during Wave. Only a partial moron."

"Whatever you want to tell yourself," she teased.

I threw one of my pillows at her, but nearly hit the vase. Ino barely caught it before it fell to the ground. We stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter.

After last night's - this morning's? - talk with Dad, I had been feeling better emotionally. We finished up the cooking, both went to bed, and I had another talk with Ino.

I cried again. Which sucked.

But I could already feel that whatever strain I had unintentionally put on my family had been healed.

Dad poked his head in the room. "Girls, have you completed your meditations?"

The Ino-Shika-Chō clans had a genin tradition involving the piercing of ears. We would go down to our clans' personal memorial stone and pledge ourselves to the clan and to Konoha or something; I wasn't super familiar with the details. I did know that while the Nara and Akimichi did their ceremonies right after graduation, the Yamanaka did theirs a month or so later. During that period, we were supposed to meditate and 'open our minds'.

Completing them despite the utter catastrophe that was Wave was… difficult, to say the least. 'Opening your mind' after a traumatic experience. Not fun.

While Konoha had memorial stones for all of its shinobi, the Yamanaka, Nara, and Akimichi had their own stone, shared between the three of them. I had seen it a few times before, mostly visiting with one of my relatives or Dad. You could feel the age and weight of the names. The oldest names were mostly faded, the newer names still holding the edge of the rock.

I tried not to think about Dad's name on the stone as we made our way into the clearing.

A chill ran up my spine. I could almost feel generations long since past watching us. Dad turned to face us both with a solemn look on his face.

Ino straightened, a firm look on her face. My sister often gave off a ditzy blonde air, but she was anything but. Her voice was clear, echoing around the clearing as she began to speak.

"I hereby swear as the sixteenth head of the Yamanaka, I will entrust the oath entrusted to me by the fifteenth to the child that will become the seventeenth. In order to protect both the Akimichi and the Nara clans, and to protect Konoha, I, Yamanaka Ino, will open my mind to the universe."

Not going to lie, that was a pretty badass oath. I was impressed and just a tad jealous. Because I was 'just' the second child, I would take the standard oath, unless something happened to my sister and I became the clan head. An unpleasant thought, that.

Wait. My turn with a significantly less badass oath.

"I, Yamanaka Inoko, do hereby swear that to protect my teammates, the clan, those allied with us and Konoha itself, I will open my mind to the universe."

The words felt… final. More so than receiving my hitai-ate had felt. I was a shinobi, a tool that lived, breathed, and died for its village and kage.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

Turning my attention back to my family, I saw Dad's hands retreating from Ino's ear with an approving smile on his face. Ah. The earrings. Clan heads and heirs had their ears ritually pierced. Luckily for me, I was neither and didn't have to get holes stabbed in my ear lobes. Jewelry period was generally a bad idea for shinobi, as it tended to get grabbed and yanked. If said jewelry was attached to your body, like earrings… well. It would hurt. Plus sparkly things weren't generally a good idea when trying to be stealthy.

"Does it hurt?" I asked as Ino gingerly touched her ears.

"A little," she said with a grimace.

"Haha," I teased. She smacked me in the arm.

"It's just… I feel _different_ now, you know? It's always been kind of a game, really, but now it isn't." My sister had a distant look in her eye as she looked anywhere but me. "We could die."

Dad rested his hands on our shoulders and gave a comforting squeeze.

"Don't worry, girls," he said softly. "That's why genin squads are assigned a jō sensei aren't going to let that happen. _I'm_ not going to let that happen."

Part of me wanted to point out that it would be hard to prevent our deaths if we were several days journey away, but I didn't want to ruin the mood Dad had going on.

"I'm predicting boring clan stuff in the very near future, so I'm going to go find Chōji," I said, wriggling out from Dad's hand. "It's been a while since we've last hung out and I for one fully intend to fix that. Bye!"

I ran down the path, grinning to myself. I really was looking forward to this. It would be good for me.

* * *

Chōji was only a little surprised when Inoko showed up at his home. He had heard from his teammates that she was… stressed. He worried about her. Inoko had always been one to take risks with her mind and soul. She once missed two weeks of classes because she accidentally put herself in a coma experimenting with a jutsu.

As of right now, she seemed ok. She had a twinkle in her eye as she approached, which was generally a good sign.

"Chōji, friend, buddy ol' pal! How you been?"

And then he was forced to reassess his observation. Maybe she wasn't as 'okay' as she pretended to be. The shadows under her eyes were just a bit darker than usual; that usually meant she was even more stressed out than usual. And usual was already pretty alarming.

"I'm good," he said instead, "you?"

"Eh, can't complain. The dads are being boring so I came over here instead."

He nodded in a quiet consolatory manner. "Chip?"

"Woo! Thanks!"

Well, he was sure she'd tell him if he could do anything to help. Until then, he'd be there for her. He wasn't smart like Shikamaru or good with people like Ino, but he was good at being someone's friend. Something told him that she needed that more than anything right now.

"So Ino and I took our oaths today," Inoko said after a while as they sat on a bench together. She swung a leg in the air, her shoe making slight scuffing noises as it brushed the ground. "I feel… different now. Like a shinobi for real, you know? I didn't get my ears pierced like you guys or anything, but… I don't know. You know?"

Many people didn't understand Inoko's more vague comments, but one of the benefits of growing up with her meant that Chōji tended to know what she meant when she was being weirder than usual.

"Are you scared?" he asked. She leaned her head on his shoulder and hummed thoughtfully.

"Maybe a little." Inoko straightened and shook herself a little. "Ugh, I'm thinking depressing things again. Let's go get some food. What do you want, barbeque, ice cream? Or maybe we could spar a little? Ooh, or maybe both!"

Now she was avoiding things. Chōji wasn't sure if he was hurt by the fact she was holding back or worried that she was.

They ended up getting some traditional Suna food - Inoko hated the spicy kind, so they made sure to get the mild stuff - before heading to a training ground. Sparring with Inoko was always interesting. She was sneakier than her twin.

"You ready, butterfly boy?" Inoko smirked.

Chōji stuck his tongue out at her and she laughed. He could see her relaxing, even from several meters away. It had been a while since they had sparred, just the two of them. Mostly because he kept beating her until she pulled out ninjutsu, and even then he usually still won.

Inoko did seem a bit annoyed by that, but Shikamaru would point out that Chōji was a heavy hitter by nature and Inoko… well, wasn't. She pretended to be insulted for about three minutes until she got distracted by Akamaru.

"Bring it," Chōji called, settling into an Akimichi taijutsu stance. Inoko rushed forward, bringing her leg up in a high kick. He blocked and threw a couple punches. Nothing serious for now, merely testing each other.

Just like old times. This was going to be fun.


	19. Actinostrobus Arenarius

"For the love of all that is salty, crunchy, and delicious, I do not need to go to the hospital!"

Sakura looked up from her book upon hearing her old friend's voice echoing from the street. Scrambling out of her bed, she opened her window, searching for the source. Chōji, with a long suffering look on his face, was carrying a vaguely struggling Inoko, who appeared to have given up on actually escaping from him.

"It's just a mild possible concussion," she groaned. "I don't need to go to the hospital!"

"Hey!" Sakura shouted down, deciding that she probably should get involved at this point. Inoko brightened and waved at her. She briefly debated the merits of using the door like a civilian, but she didn't go to ninja school for nothing and ended up climbing out the window.

"So what's this I hear about a concussion?" Sakura asked. She put her hands on her (sadly non existent) hips and gave Inoko her best Mom look.

"Welllll," Inoko started.

"She hit her head on a rock while we were training," Chōji cut in. "She used her clan jutsu and fell. I'm pretty sure that she has a concussion now."

Sakura gave her an incredulous stare. Inoko stared back, unamused.

"Did you ever go to the hospital for that thing you never told me about?" Sakura finally asked.

"What thing?" Inoko replied with a slightly uncomfortable grin. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That's it, Chōji, bring her inside. I'm turning her over to Mom."

"What?! Now, Sakura, let's be reasonable about this, no need for such drastic measures!"

Inoko began struggling against Chōji's gentle grip. It was no secret among their friend group that Haruno Mebuki was one of the few people Inoko feared, which was ironic considering that the woman was a civilian from a civilian family.

"Sakura? Who's out there?" the woman in question called out.

"Nobody!" Inoko squawked before covering her mouth in horror. _What have I done_ , her face asked.

"It's Inoko and Chōji!" Sakura shouted back. She shot her friend an evil grin.

"You're dead," Inoko mouthed, dragging her finger across her throat as Mebuki came out, dusting her hands off.

"Inoko-chan, Chōji-kun, what a surprise. What are you two doing here?"

"Inoko got a concussion while training," Sakura explained.

"It _might_ be a concussion," Inoko grumbled, giving up on escaping her friends, "there's no need to jump to conclusions."

Mebuki gave Inoko a look identical to the one her daughter had given the blonde earlier. Inoko sighed heavily.

"This is the part where I come inside so you can mom me, right?"

"Exactly. Come in, Chōji-kun, would you like some snacks?"

* * *

"... and then she wouldn't let me leave for the next three hours," I grumbled, pulling grass up and dumping it in Naruto's hair as he lay on the ground in front of me.

He had collapsed there some time before, tired from sparring with Sasuke. I began to braid some of the nice blades into his hair as Sasuke sat near us. This, in my mind, was loads better than what it used to be. Soon enough, he would be comfortable enough with us to accept physical contact, and then I could give my little duckling all of the snuggles.

All of them.

I had just about mastered tree walking, living in constant soreness all over my body from building muscles to stand _perpendicular_ to a freaking _tree._ If someone had told me Before how mad awesome I would become, I wouldn't have believed them.

I opened my mouth to complain of boredom, but bit my tongue after what had happened the last time I'd done that. Never again, Sensei.

Then I had an idea.

"Naruto, you wanna try something out?"

"... sure?"

I stood and dusted my pants off. This particular question was one that I had been wondering for a while, but hadn't remembered until now. Sensei had yet to dismiss us after a long afternoon of training, but I figured I had enough chakra to use the mind body switch one more time.

"Ok, I'm wanting to do some experiments with your shadow clones," I explained. "Namely, can I take over one with my jutsu?"

Sensei was abruptly paying a lot more attention to us both.

"Oh!" Naruto exclaimed, bouncing on his toes. "That would be super cool, dattebayo! You could lead an army of clones and hop around like a demon!" Demon. Ha.

"Exactly! So I want to see if I can possibly take over a clone." Naruto's excitement over the idea of something new was contagious. I couldn't stop grinning, granted in a maniacal manner. "Can you make like… I don't know, two or three?"

Three clones instantly popped into existence next to Naruto, identical to the original. Honestly, I was impressed that even their chakra was identical. If I hadn't seen him make them, I would have problems telling the original Naruto from the clones.

One of them was unanimously chosen to be the target of my jutsu and shoved forward. I tried hard not to laugh.

"It won't hurt," I promised, amused by him tugging on his collar and trying not to cringe before me. "You won't even know - wait a minute, could one of you be ready to catch me? I'd really rather not actually get a concussion this time." I paused at Sasuke's raised eyebrow. "Not that… I actually got a concussion last time."

A Naruto - the real one, I think - ran around and positioned himself to catch me. I took a deep breath. In. Out. In. Out.

I could feel Sensei watching me.

In. Out.

Even Sasuke seemed interested.

Out. In. Out.

I inhaled one final time and formed the hand seal, shooting forward. Leaving my body and entering only took a second, but a second was an eternity to a shinobi. A second could be the difference between who lived and who died.

Though I tried not to focus on the sensation, an out of body experience, no matter how brief, always felt really strange. Which was. Actually probably part of the reason Dad always told us to be completely committed to our target.

Right. Target. Naruto.

With normal people (aka not clones) I usually had to push a little to sit in the driver's seat, so to speak. Taking over a clone was like the seat already being mostly empty aside from some trash, maybe a back rest too. Er. This metaphor was getting a bit out of hand.

I blinked with his eyes and focused on my hands. I felt _alive_ , thrumming with chakra. Which I suppose was fair given that shadow clones were literally made of chakra.

"Inoko, your cackling is starting to worry me," Sensei said mildly, placing his hand on my head.

"Sorry, Sensei," I said, totally not sorry. "The possibilities are endless! Assuming I automatically go back to my body when the clone dispels. And not have the connection between my body and soul forever severed, leaving my mortal form in a coma to rot while I ghost around for all eternity."

"I feel like that's a mild concern."

I shrugged. "Relatively speaking, it's a problem. Probably fixable. Maybe. I'm sure it'll be fine." I made another seal and found myself blinking my own eyes at the sky.

Naruto peered down at me, concern in his eyes. "Are you ok? You didn't lose your soul, did you?!"

I might have laughed in his face. A little. "I'm fine, Naruto, don't worry. I want to try popping a shadow clone with me in it later, but that's something I want to talk about with Dad first, and probably do it under his supervision."

"Good plan," Sensei said. He did actually look a bit relieved. Well to be fair, I would too if my student who liked to experiment with mind jutsu did something very reckless despite having a protective father.

Huh. Putting myself in perspective was weird.

"Hey, Sasuke," I drawled.

"No," he said instantly.

"I literally just want to spar. Rude." Sasuke gave me a wary look. "Pinky promise? I won't get inside your head and make you do the chicken dance."

Naruto burst out laughing at the mental image, and to be honest I was grinning too. I wouldn't make him do the chicken dance, but the macarena was fair game.

* * *

"Should I be concerned?" Mother asked when she turned around and saw my face.

"Nah," I said, grinning. I was very casually leaning on the door with blood still leaking from the cut on my eyebrow. Sasuke hovered behind me, paranoid in the way he'd been since Wave. "I just need an ice pack."

Mother raised an eyebrow before putting her tea down and rising to her feet. "Let me get the first aid kit."

I slid into her seat, beaming. "Thanks, Mom!"

"Leave my drink alone, Inoko!" she called back after a moment of thought. I scowled and put the cup down. She knew me too well at this point. Instead, I moved towards the fridge. Ooh, there's juice.

I didn't think I'd ever seen Sasuke so awkward. He looked like he'd rather bolt at the first chance he had.

"Ino's not here, by the way," I said offhandedly, rummaging around in the freezer for an ice pack. "She left for a C-rank yesterday. She said Asuma-sensei was only waiting for the whole - well, it doesn't really matter." I peered behind the fridge door at him. He'd visibly relaxed, if only a little. "You thought my sister was here and you walked me home anyway? How sweet, Sasuke-kun~"

"I'll hit you again," he warned, not sounding too serious.

"That's fair. You want some juice or tea or anything?"

He silently shook his head. Mother bustled back in with the first aid kit and motioned for me to sit down. I removed the ice pack and let her fuss over me once again. When she'd returned from her random grocery shopping the other day, she'd come up to our room and hugged me for a very long time. Not like I was complaining, Mother gave some of the best hugs, rivaled by only maybe Akimichi Setsuko. There was something about her hugs, man.

Oddly enough, I had run into Sensei the next day and he'd given me the strangest look before vanishing. Upon further inspection, I'd found nothing but eyebags and a bit of spinach in my teeth from lunch.

Eh. He was an odd man. It was probably unrelated.

I was off track again.

Sasuke watched Mother fuss over my face a little. He didn't squirm too much when she side eyed him and asked me how exactly I'd gotten my injury, and best of all, didn't bolt once we both had our backs turned to him. It felt normal. Nice.

He eventually left after Mother finished taping my eyebrow up with a short, "See you tomorrow." I waved after him and pointedly ignored Mother's knowing smile.

* * *

I casually threw myself over the fence, giving Sasuke a nod as I landed. "Behold!" I announced.

"... what?"

I grinned brightly at him before spreading my arms wide. "Behold!"

"And what, exactly, am I supposed to be 'beholding'?"

Mh. Good question. I wasn't entirely sure myself, so I shrugged, still smiling. "No clue! I woke up in a good mood and I feel good."

"That's… nice."

"Thanks!"

"Hey, Inoko," Naruto said, running up to us. "Teme. Are you ok, Inoko?"

"Never better!"

* * *

"I lied, I hate everything," I told the boys, three hours later. Sensei was still nowhere to be seen. "You guys want to help me murder our teacher? I'm sure I can convince Chōza-ji to teach us, he had a genin team, you know."

"Good plan," Naruto groaned. He flopped his head onto my shoulder. I flopped my head onto Sasuke's shoulder. And he didn't move! Didn't even protest beyond sighing. Progress.

"He's a good teacher, too, one of his students is a jōnin. I think the other two are special jōnin, he was talking about them a while back," I continued, eyes unfocused. I relaxed my senses, allowing them to drift around us. The goal was to keep a close enough eye on our surroundings so we wouldn't be taken by surprise, but relaxing enough so that I didn't look like I was watching around us.

"Plus good food, right?" Naruto asked, flopping onto my lap. I absently pet his hair.

"Yeah, he's a great cook. Definitely one of the best I know." Oh, Sensei was approaching. Taking his sweet time too. "Sensei's coming."

Naruto jumped to his feet, bristling with anger. "Took him long enough! Where is he?! I'm gonna tear him to shreds!"

"Naruto. Dial it down a little, ok? Guilt him into arriving earlier next time and then bonus ducks!"

"Never say that again," Sasuke said flatly, lightly shaking me off. Naruto took a deep breath and looked slightly less hostile.

"Exactly, like so, Naruto. Good job! Bonus ducks, Sasuke."

"I'll stab you."

"Do it, coward. Regardless, bonus ducks aside," I said. I carefully ignored Sasuke pulling out a shuriken with a tight smile. "Hi, Sensei? What's the excuse this time?"

"I got lost on the way here!"

"Seems legit." I stood and brushed my pants off as Naruto practically jumped on Kakashi. "What are we doing today?"

* * *

"How," I asked the sky. Sensei ignored me and continued to read his book. "How did something like that happen. What kind of mission was that."

Naruto groaned a little and flopped onto me for the second time today. Sasuke was looking positively singed. "Deer are evil, evil creatures."

"They're babies," I instantly retorted. I had fared the best out of us three, probably due to the fact I practically grew up around deer, though not crazy mutant carnivorous deer.

"They tried to kill us," Sasuke said incredulously.

"Nara deer are babies," I amended. One of my earlier memories was helping Shikaku feed the deer with Shikamaru. I think Ino and I had spent the night since Dad was on a mission. A fawn had come up and ate straight out of the bucket I was holding. It was very cute.

Something tickled the edge of my senses.

"We should do some training together," I said instead. "What do you think, Sensei?"

"Let's call it a day for now," Sensei said, eye tracking something in the sky. "You three can do individual training if you'd like." I looked up to see a bird circling in some sort of pattern. Jōnin summons? Odd, I couldn't think - actually never mind, I could.

Chūnin exams.

Great. I was going to die. Hopefully not literally. When I looked back at Sensei, he was gone.

"Thanks? I guess?" I scratched the back of my neck. "So… you two wanna train together?"

"What could a useless dobe like him contribute?" Sasuke scoffed. Naruto scowled and clenched his fists.

"Hey, hey, we talked about this," I protested, waving my hands. "Most people can contribute something. For example, I can contribute that that disguise is terrible; have you ever even seen a rock before in your lives?"

Sasuke and Naruto looked down to the ground as the Konohamaru Corps threw off their 'disguise'. "So, the boss's teammate managed to see through our disguise!" Konohamaru declared, folding his arms. "As I expected of the boss's teammate!"

Sasuke gave me a confused and questioning look. I shrugged a little. The girl, Mogi or something, tugged on Naruto's hand. "Come on, boss, you promised! Can you come now?"

"Nope! I'm gonna train super hard with Sasuke and Inoko and become a super strong ninja!"

Aww. How adorable, he was acknowledging Sasuke's existence in a non antagonistic way.

"But you promised to play ninja with us!" Konohamaru said. He looked a little distressed, honestly. "You promised!"

"A ninja," Sasuke said flatly. "Playing ninja."

"Yeah?" I raised an eyebrow. The Konohamaru Corps were still trying to convince Naruto to come with them.

 _Danger_ , my senses whispered to me.

"Just seems dumb," he muttered. "How are you even supposed to play, anyway?"

Waait a minute. "Sasuke," I asked with a grin, leaning in, "have you never played ninja?"

Sasuke flushed a little. "What does it matter?"

"It matters a lot! Naruto, kiddos, I have a suggestion!" They all looked at me. Sasuke seemed like he was going to bolt at any second. "We'll play ninja with you, but since we're genin, we have to use kawarimi instead of moving normally. That way we can train and Naruto can play with you like he promised. Sound good?"

The kids stared at me in shock even as Naruto's face broke open in a grin. "Yeah! You're super smart, Inoko-chan!

 _Death,_ they hissed.

"I grew up with Shika, you have to keep up somehow," I laughed. "We don't have any weapons we can use against you guys, so what about a tag system?"

"Sounds good, zombie-lady!" I winced. "Ready, set, go!"

I instantly switched with a nearby plank, yelling at Naruto, "Hey, you can only kawarimi!"

"Sorry!" he hollered, quickly switching with a scarecrow. Sasuke quickly vanished, a crate taking his place.

It was surprisingly fun. We ended up going with a point based system, limbs being one point, torso being two points, and head being five points. The Konohamaru Corps were using their paper kunai and shuriken, evening the odds if only by a little. Sasuke was in the lead with twenty six points, myself in second with twenty one, and the kids and Naruto switching up third. Naruto seemed to be more focused on being overly dramatic and spouting speeches than scoring points.

I could have sworn I saw a proper smile on Sasuke's face at one point right before he had the gall to kawarimi with _me_.

Of course, the fun couldn't last forever. I didn't even have time to shout out a warning before - _danger danger die die die die -_ Konohamaru ran into someone. My stomach turned.

"That hurt, punk," Kankuro growled.

"Konohamaru!" Naruto called, running forward.

"Cut it out," the girl next to him - Temari - said, raising an annoyed eyebrow. "You're going to get it as it is!"

"Put him down, you big ape!" Naruto yelled.

"Enough, Naruto," I said sharply, waving him down. Sasuke appeared near me, a wary expression on his face. I glanced up at their headbands, slowly enough to make sure they knew I was noticing.

 _ **He's getting close**_.

"What are shinobi of Sunagakure no Sato doing here?" Sasuke asked. It was just as well; I somehow was finding it difficult to talk around the lump in my throat.

"We're here for the chūnin exams," Temari explained. She flashed her passport at us, stamped with the gatekeepers' seal.

Unbridled bloodlust. Boredom. Disinterest except in death, anyone's death. I clutched at the back of Sasuke's shirt and hoped I was doing as good of a job of keeping a straight face as I thought I was. He tensed underneath my hand.

 _ **H̦͔̭̅̇ȩ̦̞͓̯ͯ͛͊͌ͧ͠'͛͏̻̮̩̤̮͇͔͡s̷̡̡̙̟̜͈͒̒̾̈́ ͍̘̖̳̤ͣ͐̏͠ḧ̵̪̝͇ͫ̆͐e̞͖̞̰ͪ͛̂ͮ̑̒́̂́͜r̷̙͉̹ͫͤe͕̗̖̥̠̣̅̆͐̐̀͘**_

"Enough, Kankuro," a low, raspy voice said. Was it always so hard to breathe? "You're a disgrace to our village."

Gaara of the Desert stood on the underside of a nearby tree branch. His siblings had a much more visible reaction than I (hopefully) did. Kankuro instantly dropped Konohamaru to the ground, stammering, "G-Gaara, hey, how you doing? See, the k-kid, he ran into -"

"Shut up or I'll kill you."

I got the sense it wasn't an idle threat. Kankuro and Temari didn't seem to think so either. Konohamaru and his friends cowered behind us.

"You're right, I was completely out of line!" Kankuro said with false cheer. He was shaking where he stood despite the warm weather.

"We're sorry, Gaara, really, really sorry," Temari agreed, sweating. Gaara shunshined between them and faced us.

"Sorry about my friends." His voice was flat. Dead as the desert. He barely spared a glance to his brother. "We may be early, but that doesn't excuse playing around."

"I swear it won't happen again." Gaara glanced at me - _his eyes were so dead all I could see was death_ \- before turning around.

"Let's go."

"You kids should get out of here," I managed as the Suna genin turned the corner. "And s-stay away from them."

I leaned against the wall and tried to breathe. It was easier the further Gaara got away. I barely heard Naruto saying my name in a worried voice as I slid down.

"'M fine," I whispered. "G-Gaara, he's…"

Sasuke crouched in front of me, concern written across his face. "Inoko, breath before you pass out." I sucked in a breath. Naruto was rubbing my shoulders. "What's wrong with this Gaara guy?"

"Stay away from him," I said thickly. I didn't meet their eyes. "For the love of all the gods out there, _stay away from him._ "

* * *

 **So. That uh. Took longer than I thought it would. Just a little. I honestly kind of thought this fic was dead too, but then Ducky Devilry gave such lovely reviews and then topped it off with absolutely glorious fan art! I'll be putting a link in my profile later most likely so everyone else can enjoy it as much as I did. I am now newly and freshly inspired to work on Moonflower as a more mature writer. I'm looking forward to the next chapters with you!**

 **As an apology for taking a solid eight months to update, the entire fic has been edited to streamline the plot and fix scenes I wasn't a fan of. Said edits are already applied. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Betad by the lovely PyrothTenka and Tavina!**


	20. Geranium Dissectum

I didn't sleep well that night. And by not sleeping well, I mean I didn't sleep at all. Even listening to Ino's steady breathing didn't relax me enough to sleep. I spent most of the night in my mind palace, trying to find any info on the upcoming exams. Unfortunately, the file had been corrupted, meaning I could only catch a few glimpses.

I remembered Gaara and his bloodlust. I remembered the invasion.

I remembered Orochimaru.

I remembered him doing _something_ to Sasuke that led to everything else going wrong.

Throwing down the damaged file with disgust, I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes. I knew bits and pieces of what was coming. I couldn't even remember how Orochimaru got into the chūnin exams in the first place. Would it be enough to affect things? Was it enough?

I had remembered so much of Wave and yeah, I had changed things, but I'd also ruined others further. Sasuke didn't have his Sharingan, and didn't he need that for Chidori? Naruto's seal was fully intact. He wouldn't be able to stand up to Gaara without the Kyuubi, no matter how much I hated it.

 _Come on, Inoko, you made your bed, now it's time to lie in it._ I messed up a few things, yeah, but I could only move forward from here. I couldn't do anything about the seal - and there was nothing that was going to make me try - but maybe I could do something about the Sharingan.

I jumped to my feet and began making my way back up to the school. If I remembered correctly, the Sharingan needed strong emotion to activate. Didn't matter what. I frowned, pausing midstep. Maybe. Natural Sharingan activation wasn't exactly something I studied Before. For all I knew, he needed to have had miso for breakfast on a Friday in order to activate them.

Maybe I'd ask Sensei. Sensei seemed like he'd know.

A specter of a memory ran through me, already fading away before it turned the corner. I raised an eyebrow at it, then shook my head and shut the door behind me.

I opened my eyes in the darkness and sighed. Echoes of activity reached my ears. Dawn was approaching. I was still exhausted, though by all appearances I had slept all night. I sat up and stretched, restraining a yawn. Ino was still sleeping peacefully.

 _What if my changes lead to something worse?_

I swallowed the lump in my throat before grabbing my robe and quietly leaving the room.

Shrugging the cotton robe on, I wandered the dark, still house. I stared into the fridge for a few moments, tried to relax on the couch, browsed books to find something interesting.

I ended up in my garden.

When we were young, Ino and I would help Dad in the greenhouses. As we got older, Dad gave us our own little plots of land in the backyard to culture with whatever plants we wanted. If I covered it with daffodils at first, that was entirely my own business. Being a small child of six, they all died within a month.

Dad just laughed at my distressed face and helped me replant new ones.

Over the years, my little plot grew larger and eventually covered nearly a quarter of the yard, enveloping Ino's initial territory. She ended up moving her plants to a greenhouse, leaving me to putter around in the yard with my flowers.

I mixed day and night bloomers, fall and spring plants, pretty much any flowering plant that caught my eye so I could have blooms year round. Now, in the silent minutes before dawn, where the night blooming flowers were beginning to close with the moon and the day blooming flowers were preparing to open up to the sun, I inhaled the perfume of my garden.

I felt some of the tension bleed from my shoulders. We were supposed to meet up with Sensei later today. Technically we were supposed to meet at eight in the morning, but knowing him, he wouldn't show up until close to noon. I should talk to him, but…

I had absolutely no idea where on earth he would be. Konoha was a big place; I couldn't exactly wander around hoping I get a ping on my chakra radar. I didn't have any convenient summons that I could use to track him down.

Tracking. Oh. I really was an idiot, wasn't I?

* * *

The Inuzuka man at the entrance to the compound gave me a friendly, if overly toothy, smile. I'd been here often enough, usually hot on Kiba's heels, to be recognized by most of the guards. The few times I didn't come here with Kiba I usually ended up leaving with him hot on _my_ heels.

It was early yet; I stood in front of his door a bit hesitantly. A crash came from inside, along with some shouting. Footsteps running down a hall. More shouting before the door flew open and Akamaru leaped into my face. I hit the ground hard with a face full of dog.

"Oh, hey," Kiba said before hollering back into the house. "We got him, Ma!"

He pulled Akamaru off my face and offered a hand to help me up. I gave him a dead eyed stare before accepting it. Why dog. He just smirked at me, grabbed my hand, and hauled me to my feet.

"Thanks for the help; Akamaru grabbed one of Hana's shoes and wouldn't give it back." He did, in fact, have a shoe firmly clamped in his jaws and growled a little whenever Kiba's hand drifted towards it.

"You're… welcome?" I said slowly, unable to tear my eyes away from the attempted retrieval of the shoe. It was not going well. "Hey, could you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, sure, what's up? Do me and Akamaru need to go do some dynamic marking on someone?" I blinked in surprise, and while I was _definitely_ going to keep them in mind…

"Nah, I need some tracking help." Kiba stopped tugging on the shoe and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Tracking? Why?"

"Because it's virtually impossible to find my sensei at my current skill level and I need to talk to him about something."

Kiba grinned widely. "Yeah, sure! It'll get me out of doing kata, at any rate."

"That's what you think, mister," Tsume said, standing in the doorway. "Akamaru, _drop it_."

Akamaru opened his mouth and let the shoe drop. Hana hopped out on one foot, swiping her sandal off the ground with a scowl.

"But Ma," Kiba whined. "I've already done them like a million times!"

"And you'll do them a million more times until you get them right!" Tsume turned her attention to where I was semi-awkwardly standing. "Hey, kiddo, whatcha need?"

"I was going to borrow Kiba to help find my sensei," I explained. Hm. Who else did I know that could track people? I thought for a moment. Yeah, I was coming up short. "But if he's busy, I can go." I could always resort back to my initial plan, though my chances of success were much lower.

"Kakashi, right?" Hana asked, both sandals firmly attached to her feet. "I have some time before I'm due at the clinic, I'll help ya."

I bowed a little and thanked her as she whistled for her dogs. By way of being Kiba's friend, I had spent a decent amount of time here growing up, and had used the Haimaru brothers as pillows more than a few times. They were so soft and friendly, what other choice did I have? I wouldn't call myself friends with their master, but we were friendly enough with each other.

Tsume waved goodbye before dragging Kiba back inside, Akamaru trotting at his heels. Kiba barely had time to bark a goodbye of his own.

When the Haimaru brothers were sitting in a neat row in front of Hana, she announced, "Ok, boys, we're gonna find Kakashi, ok? First one to find him gets an extra treat."

Ni barked while San wagged his tail and Ichi began excitedly sidestepping. I clenched my fist and resisted the urge to squee and pat them and tell them what good boys they were. Because they were the best boys.

Hana offered me a hand with a quick "Hop on" and then we were off, rushing through Konoha with a mixture of whooping, barking, and shunshins. I hung off Hana's back, wind tearing my hair from my braid and whipping it into my face. For one glorious, painful moment, I almost wished -

I tore my mind away from that thought. I was content where I was and wouldn't change it for anything. I pressed my face into Hana's shoulder, guilty for even thinking about half wishing to not be my father's daughter.

Ni barked and Hana took an abrupt turn towards the sound. We landed in an open street in front of some shops and lo and behold, there was Kakashi-sensei, his shopping bags on the ground forgotten as he rubbed Ni's ears fondly. Ni's tail was wagging a mile a minute, panting happily.

"Oh, hey, Hana." Ah yes, so casual, Sensei. As if you hadn't been caught practically cooing over a dog.

"Hey yourself, Kakashi," Hana greeted, slinging me down from her back. "Your kid is looking for you, so I figured I'd do her a favor and help her out."

Kakashi's eye flickered down at me for a split second before returning to Hana. "So you have. Thanks."

Hana saluted him. "No problem, Kaka man. See ya 'round!" And with that, she and Ni vanished. Shame, I wanted to at least pat him on the head once or twice.

Sensei shoved his hands in his pockets and began to walk off. I looked down at his groceries, realizing pretty quickly what he was planning. _He isn't actually…. He is. This man._

I wasn't going to lie, I was _very_ tempted to do the exact same and leave his groceries there, but well, he was already a mess of a man, someone around here had to take care of him.

With a heavy sigh, I ran back and grabbed his bags before running up to his side. "I'm not doing this again," I warned. "I'll drop them with no regrets."

Sensei hummed. "I'm sure you will."

I scowled at him. _I should drop them. I really, really should._

"So," he drawled, "what brings you to me this fine morning, Inoko?"

"I wanted to talk to you before training," I explained, shifting the bags in my arms. "I figured you'd be the only person to ask."

I almost missed the sharp glance. His tone was still lighthearted as he said, "Oh? We had training today?"

Bullshit. I shot a glare at him. He eyesmiled back.

"I wanted to ask about the Sharingan." There was the faintest hitch in his step. "Specifically the activation requirements."

Sensei's voice was entirely serious now. "And why do you want to know that?"

I paused. My next words needed to be carefully chosen. "I'm worried about Sasuke," I finally said. "The chūnin exams are dangerous and I don't think we're up to par yet."

"Chūnin exams? What makes you think -"

"Don't treat me like an idiot, Sensei," I snapped, harsher than I meant to. "Please," I added in a softer voice.

Sensei stopped in his tracks. When I turned to look askance, he was giving me a thoughtful look.

"Very well," he finally said. "The chūnin exams will be tomorrow. You've probably already seen other teams arriving."

"We ran into a team from Suna," I muttered. Sensei nudged me to the right into another street. I followed him. "One of them was…"

I could still feel pinpricks down my back just remembering Gaara. I _knew_ what was wrong with him, even as I knew it would be fixed sometime or another. Still, knowing that didn't assuage my worries he wouldn't kill me or my loved ones. He wouldn't regret or hesitate for one moment.

"There will be many people like that in our profession," Sensei said gently. "Though I've recommended you and the boys for the exams, none of you have to go through with it if you don't want to. I was planning on telling the three of you this morning."

He pulled some papers out of his kunai pouch and handed them to me, his groceries vanishing from my arms. "Fill these out and report to room three-oh-one at the Academy by four tomorrow afternoon if you decide to go through with it."

I felt nauseous just holding them. Then his hand fell roughly on my head, awkwardly giving it a little tousle. "Don't worry about it, Inoko. I'm sure you'll all do fine."

Then he vanished. Three forms. Three choices.

Slowly, I folded them with care and slid them into my pocket. Somehow I doubted Sensei was going to show up at all today after this, so I should probably go track down the boys and let them know, give them their forms. _Wasn't there something else…?_

Sharingan. _Sharingan._

"Son of a _bi_ -"

* * *

"I'm going to murder my sensei," Inoko announced, slamming the door open with an uncomfortably large smile. I looked up from my scroll, startled. "I'm going to eviscerate him with a rusty spoon, and then I'm turning his skull into a goblet."

Mother and I shared a look as Inoko plopped herself onto the couch.

I finally took the bait. "Why?"

"Because that baaa—oooh hi, Mother, didn't see you there."

"I'm sure," she said dryly. "You were saying?"

"My buttface of a sensei decided to not tell us about the chūnin exams until the freaking day before," Inoko sighed, dropping her head back down.

"Wait, you didn't know it was coming? Asuma-sensei told us ages ago!"

Inoko lifted her head again to give me a murderous glare past her bangs. "And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I thought you knew!" I protested. Inoko sighed.

"No, I did not, sister mine. So now we have hardly any time to train, though… Sensei has been training us quite a bit harder lately, hasn't he?"

"Are you going to do it?" I asked, quickly cutting off the tight look on Mother's face. "The boys and I are."

"I don't know," Inoko sighed, rolling off the couch onto the floor. She flung an arm over her eyes. "I don't feel ready, but they do, and you have to have a three man team for the exams, and I can't hold them back or…" She trailed off, mouth turning downwards.

There was a troubled look crossing over my sister's face more and more often these days. Sometimes I asked about it, but she always just laughed me off and assured me everything was fine. It wasn't. There was something weighing heavily on her mind, and I was determined to find out what it was.

"I went to the trouble of tracking him down this morning and everything," Inoko grumbled. "I ask him a question, and then I get sidetracked, and then he has the _gall_ to hand off the responsibility of, you know, actually telling the other two about the chūnin exams. So I go find them and give them the paperwork, and of course they both react predictably, which is to go off and start training like their lives depend on it, and then I'm trying to keep them from destroying the training field and each other, which is a lot harder than you would expect."

Inoko rolled over onto her belly, peeking up at me and checking for sympathy. I nudged her with my foot.

"You're so dramatic."

"You're right, I need to become stronger before I murder my sensei."

"That's not how that works."

"Sure it is. Two there should be, no more, no less. One to embody power, the other to crave it."

Inoko finished with a dramatic fist in the air. I gave her a flat look. "And how are you planning to get to two? Are you going to kill Naruto and Sasuke-kun?"

"If they don't stop giving me shit I might."

"Inoko," Mother warned.

She flushed. "Sorry, Mother, it slipped out. Won't happen again."

"It better not," Mother said, placing her book down and giving us a fond if exasperated look. "I need to borrow a recipe from Setsuko. I'll be back soon."

"Fifty ryō says she's gonna be gone an hour," Inoko commented when the door shut.

"Done," I said, going back to my scroll.

* * *

I met with Naruto and Sasuke in front of the Academy at twenty till. It was… strange being back here. Had it really only been a few months? It felt longer.

The Academy had been cleared of students for the exams; I remembered how we'd all been sent on a "survival field trip" the last time Konoha held them. It had been fun. I ate a rabbit and two fish.

Anyway.

"We should keep on the downlow," I suggested once I grew close enough. "There's no telling what's lying in store for us."

Sasuke hummed in agreement and Naruto nodded hard, arms crossed.

"We still have some time, right? Plan of action aside from flying under the radar?"

"You said that you can dispel genjutsu," Sasuke said, glancing at me. "Can you sense them as well?"

"Can't dispel it if you can't detect it." I shrugged. "I can dispel genjutsu on other people as well; if either of you get caught I'll take care of you."

"Thank, Inoko-chan!" Naruto chirped. I waved it away.

"You boys are the heavy hitters, so I'll let you guys take point in the fight, and I'll stay back for support. And Naruto, do me a favor and leave a clone or something near me so I don't give myself another concussion." Naruto laughed sheepishly.

"Let's go, then," Sasuke said.

The halls were crowded, full of hopeful genin. I could feel a genjutsu tickling the edge of my senses and was instantly on guard.

"Stay close," I muttered to the boys, signing to them _genjutsu - potential enemy_. I was kind of surprised to see something like this already. The proctors weren't wasting any time weeding out the hopeless, were they? There was a bit of a commotion on the second floor, but the signs were all wrong. A bunch of people were crowded around a door that looked right, but…

I gripped Naruto's sleeve and closed my eyes. Counted the stairs. Only two flights, though I could have sworn we'd walked up three. I could feel Ino and her team just a floor up.

"We still need to go up a floor," I said, opening my eyes again. "Looks like we got mixed up."

"Genjutsu," Sasuke said under his breath. "Good catch."

"I'm a Yamanaka, it's in the job description."

"Ehh?" Naruto said, squinting at the sign that 'clearly' said three-oh-one. "But Inoko-chan, the sign says -"

"Come on, dobe," Sasuke sighed, grabbing his arm and dragging him behind me. I smiled to myself. _Look at them, getting along so well._ I relaxed a little despite myself.

We left behind Team Gai, who were still keeping up the pretense of being weaker than they were. Good plan, but best to not draw any attention to yourself at all and fly under the radar.

The real room three-oh-one was being guarded by none other than Sensei himself. "Glad to see you all made it," he said casually. "Looks like you qualify for the exams."

"Keeping up the teamwork emphasis?" I asked, feeling a nervous sort of smile twitching at the corner of my mouth. Sensei gave me an eye smile.

"Perhaps. Regardless of what happens in there, I'm very, very proud of all three of you. You've all come a long way from the little Academy students I tested a few months ago."

Naruto was practically beaming from the praise, and even Sasuke looked pleased. I couldn't fight the smile that was forcing its way onto my face, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. I felt some of the tension bleed from my body.

"Thanks, Sensei," I said, ducking my head to hide my face.

"Get in there, brats," he said fondly. "You're going to be late." Sasuke gave him an indignant look.

Right. The first stage of the exams. I took a deep breath.

"Ready, boys?"

"Yeah!" Naruto cheered. Sasuke made eye contact and nodded.

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends," I whispered under my breath. "Once more."

We pushed the doors open and stepped in.

* * *

 **Beta'd by iaso, PyrothTenka, Tavina, UmbreonGurl, and drowsyivy! Thanks a bunch guys!**

 **Fun fact! I know nothing about plants or gardening. Why I chose to write a character who knows a bunch about both is beyond me.**

 **I have a discord! Link in profile. Enjoy and review!**


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